Is it better to stay together for the kids??

Question

I would normally be one to answer no, but I feel like I'm in a tough situation.

Even from the beginning he has lied to me so much. And he has kept things from me. A few times I've found him flirting with other girls online. Which to him was just out of boredom and he's just playing around, but to me it still hurts really bad!

We have 6 month old twins and I have a 7 year old daughter who's crazy about him. When he's with me, he's wonderful and an awesome dad. But, it's happened again recently. I found out he was texting some girl flirting with her. He had stopped on his own before I found out. I know that I cannot keep putting faith in him to change, but do I stick it out for the kids? we don't fight, we get along great, so I don't worry that we'll be hurting the kids, just me. If I go all I could afford would be a small 2 bedroom apt which I'd be sleeping on the couch. He's offered to go to counselling. Says he has issues and needs attention. I just don't know.

Answer 1

You owe it to yourself and the kids to try counseling.  You may regret your whole life if you do not at least try it.  Give it some time and look at where the situation is in a few months or if the flirting, etc continues.

Answer 2

Go to counseling and maybe that will help. If it does thats great! But if it doesn't idk.

Answer 3

If he's willing to go to counseling, take him up on his offer. Anyone that's willing to go on their own obviously wants to help themselves.

Besides, if you get along great and if he's a great dad, he might be worth keeping around.

Try the counseling thing out for a while, and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out...I'm not quite sure what to tell you. Try to explain to him how you feel about his behavior.

Answer 4

Wow, what a tough situation.  I say you guys go to counseling and do all you can to make it work.  Maybe you guys should cancel your text.   Ask him what he wants from you and why he's interested in other women.  From what you said, it sounds like you guys haven't tried too hard to figure things out and why he's doing what he's doing. If he's willing to get help. that's awesome!  Maybe you guys should set up a special evening thats just you 2 to bring some romance back into the picture.

Answer 5

I would first try the couseling. You owe that to your kids as well as to yourself. If that does not work then you need to leave. Even though you don;t fight, you want your kids to know what a healthy realationship is like and they go by example. It will hurt them worse if you stay somewhere where you are not happy. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

i dont know what to tell u if your not happy yours kids is gonna suffer 2

Answer 7

That is a tough one but I'm going to have to say it's best to get rid of him.  What kind of life are the kids going to have when mom is unhappy and miserable because of dad cheating?

Answer 8

i would get rid of him, he dont have no respect for you if hes textin other girls and all that. you only live once darlin. go and find yourself a nicer man one that will treat you nicer.. Hope I Helped  =)   x

Answer 9

This is coming from someone who has seen her parents fight for the past 13 yrs. If you can find a way to work it out, through counseling or just talking it out amongst yourselves, that would be great. It would be the best thing for all involved I think. You stay with a person you love and is an amazing father and your children keep their parents.

But life isn't always the way you plan it. If it just doesn't work, then it's better to move on, but keep a good relationship with the father.

You deserve to be in a relationship where the person you are with loves you, respects you, is faithful and values you.

You need to do what's best for your children and yourself. Remember what you choose for yourself, is what you choose for your children.

It does affect us to see you fight and argue and to know that there's tension. We see more than you let on.

Good luck.

Answer 10

You only live once sweetheart, dont go wasting your life away being with a fool that doesnt even appricate you or respect you.

If I were you, I would go to e-harmony and try to hook up with a guy while hes at work, hopefully you will fall in love and then you can leave him.  Because you dont need to be treated this way.

Answer 11

Have you both considered marital counseling?  Why wouldn't you take advantage of that, before destroying your relationship?

I don't see any other option for the two of you to make it.

Sounds as if he doesn't understand how much this hurts you, sometimes a neutral party can help a couple learn to communicate better.

Luck