Is it child abuse if I refuse to feed my picky eater?

Question

My three and 5 year old refuses to eat what I feed them. So they have the choice either eat it or don't eat at all, In the end they do but cries about it. When I mentioned it to a friend she said it was child abuse. Is it abuse if I dont feed my picky eater what they want

Answer 1

nope i say the same thing to my nearly 3 yr old an 4 yr old.

eat what your given or dont eat at all, sometimes they will eat it an sometimes not and if they dont then when there hungry afterwards maybe next time they will remember it and eat.

Answer 2

no, it is not child abuse if you are giving them food. If they don't wanna eat it, that does not make child abuse! So keep doing what you are doing because you are doing nothing wrong and your kids are getting a healthy and complete diet. I am only 12.... but still I do know this from experience!!! NOT child abuse and good luck!

Answer 3

I am the proud mother of a picky eater. Proud of my child and not proud of the picky eater thing. Some kids grow out of it, but in the case of my brother, my uncle, and even my mom, some do not. One thing to do is give them a multivitamin. My son cannot stand fruits and veggies so I get juices with them in it..or juice my own. Also continue to try one food at least ten times...with my son, it is not much taste but the texture of things.  I meet him halfway on things as well and put my own twist on them...like whole grain white bread, organic milk, etc. Also one way to stop the wanting cookies or chips is not to buy them. The picky eater thing may be a phase, or it may be a lifetime thing..you just decide if every mealtime is going to be a battle. Think of something that you absolutely won't eat, no matter what because it grosses you out and then you'll understand where they are coming from...And it may all change when they hit puberty, and as they eat everything in the house you may wish for the days of picky eating!

Give them what they will eat that is healthy..and kids go through phases when they want only one thing..this is normal. Just make sure you have healthy choices in the house...and maybe give them a choice of two meals...don't starve them..get creative!  

Answer 4

actually i was watching doctor phil last week and he was talking about this topic and he said kids will eat what you let them eat. so you choose what you want them to eat serve it to them and if they dont eat it then let them have a whinge but dont give in to them they will adventually get hungry and eat it but no it is not child abuse.  it is child abuse when you dont show your kids how to get heathly and you give into them and let them only eat junk food increasing their chances of becoming over weight and developing health problems. dont worry about what your freinds thinks, you are doing a great job stand your ground.

Answer 5

no its how they learn to try and eat new foods..

Answer 6

You should hide foods around the house in fun places --- the garage, the woodshop, the medicine cabinet -- and tell them to go out and find it!! That way, they have so much fun they don't even notice they are eating "yucky" foods.

Answer 7

I do the same thing although my kids are 10 and 8. If you let them get away with it now, it will never change. Plus half of what they generally (dont like) is stuff they haven't tried. So no it is not abuse, because you are offering them food. If they take it or not is up to them, but the offer is there.  

Answer 8

No it's not, as long as you are giving them something to eat and they refuse it.

Trust me, when they are hungry they will eat whatever is offered, so hang tough. They won't starve to death, and will break and eat.

My mother did the same for me, I was the pickiest kid ever. I think I lasted two days until I ate the dinner she had cooked.

Answer 9

no, id do exactly the same. if theyre hungry, theyll eat the food you provide for them!

Answer 10

It is neglect if you refuse to feed them yes but as long as you offer 1 thing you know they may eat and just encourage them to eat the rest you are fine but every kid goes through a picky eaters stage but you have to watch what you do because even children that aren't diabetic or hypoglycemic can have sugar drops and develop problems so make sure they aren't "starving" just because they won't eat what you offer and make sure to offer something that is actually ediable for a kid.  I know a family that kept trying to force sushi down their 4 year old and wouldn't serve anything else, most 4 year olds just aren't going to eat raw fish that is all there is too it.  

Answer 11

No, you provide them with food, if they don't like it, that's too bad. They will eat when they're hungry enough.

Answer 12

I don't think it is.  I do the same thing.  I'm not going to sit there and waste food by keeping cooking stuff till they want to eat something.  That is spoiling a child and I can not afford such wastefulness.

Answer 13

it depends if you don't feed them at all then yes it is. but you try and they end up eating so no try to negotiate with them prize them for eating what you make tell them you will let them do something bond over it. But never give them anything like money toys or candy cuz that will not help you in the feature trust me i am a teen and my parents did that with me cuz i loved fruits and veggie and the always wanted to eat meats and i hate meat.

Answer 14

I was told by my doctor to not give in to their unhealthy food choices and they will eat when they are hungry! They said that they will give in eventually through their hard headedness and all!!! Good luck!

Answer 15

Of course that's not child abuse. Constantly giving in to your kids and feeding them the junk food they are demanding is a form of child abuse in my opinion. For one that kind of diet is terribly unhealthy and secondly you're raising them to believe that if they go through life complaining and whining enough they'll always get what they want. That's not how the real world works. Just keep doing what you're doing..offer up a nice healthy meals and tell them that's what the whole family is getting for dinner. If they're hungry enough they'll eat. No child is going to willingly starve themselves and please bear in mind that lots of kids do this!

Answer 16

feeding them junk all the time would be child abuse

not feeding them at all would be child abuse

giving them decent food is good. if they refuse to eat it, that's their choice...

Answer 17

The state might look at it like that, but in general, I'd say, no, it's not.  Eventually both will get hungry enough that they will eat what is put in front of them.  Abuse would be not having food in the house at all.

Answer 18

Not at all. So do not worry,

there is a very big difference, im a picky eater myelf and my parents get angered CONSTANTLY, but it is not child abuse

It would be child abuse if u were not offering ANY food, children are always picky eaters and that is the most common way parents solve it

Answer 19

No, if they were really hungry they would eat it.

Your not starving them so i'm pretty sure it's not.

Answer 20

It's your job as a parent to make sure  your kids eat and are healthy.

It is abuse if you refuse to feed them.

Social services could take your kids for not feeding them if someone would report you.

Answer 21

No.

If there hungry they will eat.

Emma

Answer 22

Bazillions of kids around the world go through the picky eater stage. I have 3 great kids who were all picky eaters. They are all adults now and eat everything! ANY doctor will tell you, as long as they are getting dairy in any form and vitamins such as in a drink (see the pharmacist) or those yummy flavoured chewable tablets, then you really don't need to worry.

  What I did was to make a big song and dance about eating food myself. As I cut up mushrooms for dinner I would say, "Mmmmm, I just LOVE mushies!" Doing that every day, the kids would get curious and try some. I used to say, "OOoh, where's my big bunny rabbit?" and leave some carrot sticks with peanut butter in a bowl near the sofa. I'd play the game when I came back..."Oh LOOK! The big bunny took MY carrots! Goodness me, what a very hungry bunny!" It always worked on my friends kids too!

Never force a kid to eat, coz they will just flat out refuse anyway!

You are NOT abusing your kids, don't let any of the others force you into feeling a bad parent. It is a phase and they WILL grow out of it.

Just try to keep special cups, bowls etc for the kids. One of mine only had a Garfield plate and cup that was hers, as she hated eating from big people plates. One son had a Star Wars plate...the other a Disney characters. If the kid feels special then they will eat.....trust me!

Answer 23

If it leads to malnutrition or illness it is abuse. You have to feed them something! Try having one thing you know they will eat as part of each meal. They got this way because they weren't exposed to a variety of foods from the beginning. Start introducing new foods slowly. Put the peanut butter on celery. Let them help you cook. It won't hurt to miss an occasional meal but by being so rigid you are setting them up for feeding issues as they get older.

Answer 24

My mom did this to me also.  It's the old school way!

Answer 25

it is not child abuse unless you are depriving your child of food.

You are doing well for your child- all children are picky at this age but you are encouraging them to develop a taste for a variety of foods rather than catering to their immature desires.

A child is not going to starve themselves unless they are sick so keeping a good variety and expecting them to eat good foods before eating snacks and desserts is instilling good healthy habits.

My kids are 15 and 12 and I can name maybe 2 things each of them does not like-  not only do they eat everything I serve them, they are a lot more willing than most of their friends to try new and unfamiliar foods and are also more likely to try again, foods they previously did not like if they have not had them for a while or if they are served a different way.  

There are foods they claimed not to like when they were younger and I would makle a meal and serve those things on the side,  for instance brussell spouts-  they complained about them-  once a week I would serve them and they would only have to eat one, now- they beg me to buy brussell sprouts and eat them all the time.  Think of the healthy food and added variety they would be missing out on if I would have catered to their dislike rather than help them develop a taste  for something good.

What is child abuse is all these parents feeding their kids tons of sugar every day, they drink nothing but koolaid, live on McDonalds and always have some kind of candy or sweets in their hands-  they are killing their children slowly, opening the doors for lifelong dietary and digestive problems as well as learning disabilities and social disorders-

Good for you for being the mom and guiding your child on a good and healthy path rather than letting your child manipulate and control you!

Answer 26

It's child abuse if you let your kids starve.. if they're hungry though they will learn to eat what you give them. It's child abuse if they do want to eat and you refuse to feed them.

Answer 27

No, you are not abusing your children.  Your friend needs to take a hike out of your business.  You are providing food.  If your child gripes about it and refuses to eat it, that is not abuse.  Abuse would be not providing food to your children at all.  Giving in to a bratty child is not good parenting.  Teaching the child manners and respect is good parenting.  Most small children don't like anything, so they will most likely cry no matter what you serve.  They will grow out of it.  We all did.

What you are doing is exactly what happened in home growing up.  It was expected that you ate what was served.  We didn't have money for fancy meals, so what there was is what there was.  The only one that suffered from not eating is me.  There were no other options for meals.  If I was hungry, I ate what was available.  

Don't feel bad.  Your friend is either a nosy neighbor or a bad parent.  Tell her you are doing what you believe is right for your children.  There are no grounds for anything, so don't worry.

Answer 28

of course not.  it's discipline, a healthy diet, and teaching them that what you want is not always good for you.  keep doing exactly what you're doing and your boys will benefit in the long run.

a word of caution: i used to babysit a picky eater whose mother told her "you can't have anything else until you finish your vegetables."  crazy child went three and a half days on nothing but water until mom finally caved.  so... just be careful and don't give them ultimatums that lock you into a battle of the wills.  kids are ruddy stubborn, but stay cool and don't let them frazzle your nerves.  you are the adult.  you are in charge.

Answer 29

not it isnt, just make sure they dont starve. They are eating so they are obviously not starving. My mom would do the same thing because all i would like to eat was macaroni and cheese!