Is it child abuse to tell your kids you are going to kill them or that "they are dead"?

Question

I feel so bad because my sister-in-law was saying this to her kids and I did and said nothing. I would NEVER say that to my kids. Her kids are 9 and 12 and were acting a little rowdy at the picnic but didn't deserve that. So is it legally child abuse and what should I do if it happens again?

Answer 1

Her mother said these things to her when she was a kid. She is saying what she learned from her mother. It is a vicious cycle. It should be broken. Talk to her if she does it again. Painful as it is, it is not child abuse. It is verbal abuse and sadly, quite unkind.

Answer 2

it is a way of saying yer really in deep doo doo for doing something, im sure that alot of people have said this.  it is emotional abuse. talk to her about it and tell her to say something else and show her how it hurts the kids well being when it is said.

Answer 3

not unless you actually do. but that is something i would not do!!! try to tell them you love them and want them to behave, reward them when they do good,disiplin them when they do bad.

Answer 4

Actually it is a form of abuse and is illegal. emotional abuse can be just as harmful to the child as physical abuse. Telling a child "im going to child you" is called terristic threatening but is hard to prove in court on hearsay. I wouuld definitly step in and call someone. You dont know what is going on behind closed doors. If you dont speak up who will? Help a child that cant help themselves before it is to late!

Answer 5

Legally-speaking it's not child abuse because there is nothing physical going on. However, it is mental abuse. You should talk to her about it when she's not angry at her children because talking to her while she's currently angry will only make her more angry.

Answer 6

No, but it should be.

Answer 7

SHE'S TEACHING HER CHILDREN THAT SHE SAYS THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. IF SHE'S A CHRISTIAN SHE SHOULD READ PROVERBS 31;26

Answer 8

Legally, I do not think there is anything you can do. It is hurting them emotionally. However if you are concerned that it stems further at home, call child services anonymously and have them look into it further.

Answer 9

You may raise an eye brow among people who act like such language is beneath them, but in reality I am willing to bet everything I own on the fact that you yourself have said you could kill someone. It is a figure of speech, unless your sister has a history of physically beating her or publicly berating and harassing her children (even when they're behaving themselves), get over it.

Answer 10

I wouldnt use those words my self , but come on do you really think that she actually is going to kill them. I think you are making this a much bigger deal than it is. Saying " Corey your gonna be dead if you do that" is just a figure of speach. And so is saying " Im gonna kill you if you knock that over" is the same thing you have way too much time on your hands , you really must not like your sis in law. Im sure the kids dont think shes really going to kill them???geeze!!!!

Answer 11

its not illegal but it is wrong! you can annonomously  report her to CPS but i would talk to her first...

Answer 12

It's verbal threats, but unfortunately that's something hard to prove as actual abuse. It IS a form of psychological/emotional abuse, Any time anyone tells someone that they are going to kill them or that they are already dead, that's a threat, it's cruel to do so.

If she hits the kids, that is possibly actionable "child abuse."

You might try to talk to this about her in a calm moment, away from the kids. She might have just had a bad bit there, and she was frustrated. If you know she does this all the time and does other things, then it could be something to be concerned about.

Good luck. Don't blame yourself.

Answer 13

it is a form of abuse. Even if she doesn't hit them this is emotional abuse. I would worry about what else she says to them. My mom did the same thing to me as a child and it progressed up until high school. Legally, I dont think there is much of a case against her unless she does hit  or the kids say she has said many other horrible things to them. However, I would let her know what you think about it. I mean, you are her sister... it isn't like she will hate you for saying anything even if she gets mad. I would also just watch the kids and see if they ever seem affected by what she says.

Answer 14

No, it isn't. It might fall into 'emotional abuse' but it's not physical/sexual.

I would've put up a one way plane ticket to Guatemala on the fridge, however.

Answer 15

Of course it is!! I'd call CPS.

Answer 16

Please talk to your sister about this event you witnessed. Going to C.S is a big step for someone who could have just been having a really hard/bad day.

Answer 17

Maybe you should talk to your sister in law about it or have her husband speak to her.  She may just be saying it as a figure of speech and mean nothing by it.  Or she could be saying it to be emotionally abusive.  My mom said that to me and my brothers when we were growing up.  We knew she didn't mean it literally and we didn't suffer from emotional abuse.  I wouldn't call CPS unless you have other reasons to believe she is abusing the kids.