Is it common for people in their 20s to still have resentment over teachers that have been rude to them?

Question

For example,

I'm turning 28 and when I was in elementary school, teachers fawned and worshipped a prodigy in my classes, who also was good at sports, but he was kind of an ***.

Meanwhile, I had/have ADD/OCD, at the time it was misdiagnosed and I worked as hard as I could and couldnt quite be held to that high standard all these other teacher's were holding to this one guy, whom of which whose *** they were kissing........

Then in middle school, in front of a whole auditorium/gym class, a gym teacher (known for being nonchalant and stoic) said that I faked an injury, he used my last name and everyone laughed. He also gave me a detention for ripping a small piece of paper on the wall.

I had good grades and was polite to all my teachers, but yet I felt like some teachers sided with many kids who had given me a hard time, like another time at that same middle school, one teacher was giving to me good that he didn't want to hear it because the kids harassing me were 2 years

Answer 1

It is not common for a teacher to continually and publicaly belittle, mock, insult and emotionally injured their students, so it is not common for students to still feel resentment.

However, you had a few teachers who were not professional, who were constant jerks to you, and yeah, that kind of thing can cause you to feel resentment years later.  People who did not experience it to the degree you did won't be able to understand that (as you can see by some of the replies you have gotten).

You can embrace that resentment and use it to fuel your drive and determination, or you can try to view those teachers from a different point of view.  Instead of still experiencing the feelings that you had as an adolescent, look at those teachers as the adult you are, and realize they were bad teachers, but thank goodness they aren't a part of your life anymore!

If you can't let it go, then consider visiting a counsellor of some type.  They can help you release the old feelings of resentment and move onto the here and now.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Let it go. You are 28 yrs old and there MUST be bigger issues in your life. No, it's not common. I had teachers treat me like an idiot in school too, but letting them get to me now would be nuts. I'm 31...that's too long ago to care one way or the other.

Answer 3

When I started teaching, I worked with one of my old teachers whom I couldn't stand in school, and, yes, I still resented her.

More importantly, I later learned that anger and resentment only hurts you.  The people who hurt you probably don't even remember the incident or perhaps even you.  They have moved on with their lives, and so should you.  Most of happiness is a choice.  As an adult, you should be able to recognize that even adults make bad decisions, have off days in which they say things harshly or without thinking, don't always realize they are being unfair, etc.  So, write it off to them being human and let it go.  Do you really want to let it eat at your insides all these years later?

Answer 4

you are 28 and still remember being slighted in elementary school?...have you led that boring a life that you can keep these petty things fresh in your memory?...let it go and stop living in the past...do things for you, not to prove others wrong...

Answer 5

I'm 50 years old, a teacher, married with two wonderful children...I have a wonderful  and very fortunate life.  Yet I can remember vividly and with strong resentment this rude moronic teacher I had in high school who made a point of belittling me at every opportunity even though I was a good student and actively involved in the school.  (I'm of Arabic ancestry and maybe looked a little more "foreign" than others in this predominantly WASP-y school system.) He accused me of everything from drug-use (it was penicillin for strep throat that was registered with the school nurse), to promiscuity for "dressing for the boys"(I worked after school & couldn't wear jeans like everyone else--he was always commenting on my clothes), to lacking normal intelligence (because I stopped volunteering in class because he would find some reason to belittle whatever I said--he would call on me when no one else knew the answer & even if I got it right--he's have some rude remark to say)...it was a year from he## for me!  

Do I still hold resentment--ABSOLUTELY--TO THIS DAY I DO!! Did I let it ruin my life--HECK NO!!  If anything it made me a better teacher knowing I would try my best to be better than he was!!

I'm sure he never gave me a second thought--I was certainly not going to let some biased-bullying teacher be any kind of negative influence in my life! Do I think about him often--only when I read posts like this and I think--yep, I'm glad I never had to see him again...I feel sorry for those people who had to deal with him for his whole life....LOL!

Answer 6

I think your fixation on minor childhood traumas might be a part of the OCD.

I'm not judging you.

Have you tried reframing the way you see it?  All of these experiences has made you the fierce person you are today.  A force to be reckoned with.  If you were treated kindly all through your schooling, maybe you wouldn't have such a drive to succeed.