Is it concidered child abuse?

Question

i was abused as a child by my moms boyfriend from age 3-7 so now im scared that any form of disciplinei child abuse if i pick my son up by his arm to help him up the stairs is it considered child abuse.

Answer 1

depend son how you do it are you picking him clear up off the floor? Or are you just kinda pulling not hard on him to get him to go up the stairs i don;t think that is. I used to baby sit for a girl that I woudl send to her room if she was being bad one time she wouldn;t go so I had to grab her arm and kinda lead her there but  I didn't drag or harm her in anyway just walke dout in front of her quickly so she didn't have chance. All discipline isn;t child abuse if you are afirad of it being that way use the naugthy spot chair room routine it soudn silly but it does work

Answer 2

I am 38, with children aged 12 and 18

I was beaten/abused mentally and emotionally as a form of discipline as a child, +

I found it very difficult as a young parent to know where to draw the line, I was so wary of the negative impact of being too harsh, but recognized that some form of discipline was wise

I developed my own strategies, all trial and error, but it was hard not having a model to follow, only 'what not to do' as a guide - I truly sympathise with your current situation, I'm happy with the way my children have turned out, I stand by the choices I made, but this is very complex, I had psychotherapy for 3yrs in total, which gave me confidence in myself, it taught me to trust in my own instincts, and not to constantly suspect that I had ulterior motives, or that my past was effecting my parenting

At 38, I've grown to realise that MOST parents face similar dilemma's, whatever their upbringings, and the very fact you are on here asking, means you are very aware of your actions and therefore unlikely to go very far wrong

But if you do recognize that sometimes your reactions are inappropriate, or disproportionate, please seek help, or mail me and I will be happy to give you more detailed advice, but what you are describing does not sound in the least bit abusive

Good Luck

Answer 3

Many people who were abused as children grow up to be abusers. If you are worried about your parenting skills because of your past trauma, you owe it to yourself, your child and your future children to get some counseling about your past hurts and also on parenting. Not understanding the line between helping and abuse is a concern. On the one hand, you don't ever want to over-react out of anger, but going to soft also is not the answer.

Maybe not for the "helping up stairs issue", but for other serious situations surrounding discipline that come up on a daily basis, this only gets more important and challenging as your kid grows, it sounds like you could use more guidance than what you can find on Yahoo.Answers.

For what it was worth, both my brother and especially I were abused as children. We both have kids and have gotten help so that we can live CONSCIOUSLY and know how to deal with our own pain so that our kids have parents who will not UNCONSCIOUSLY fall into old patterns of abuse. Breaking the cycle starts with you as a parent. Get some help.

Answer 4

It is not child abuse as long as you do not do it in a manner that will physically or emotionally hurt him in any way. If you dragged him up the stairs, that would be child abuse. If you intentionally did it in a way that would cause him harm, that would be child abuse. But just helping him by holding his hand or something similar would be perfectly fine.

Answer 5

If by "pick my son up by his arm" you mean that you lift him clear of the floor, then this is wrong!

If you lightly hold his arm to guide and support him, then I would say that this is OK.

Depends how old your son is, and how confident he is with walking.

Answer 6

HELPING is not abuse.

Answer 7

the world is going mad with political correctness, i would not consider this to be child abuse but then others probably would.

Answer 8

If it bothers you enough to ask then ...Yes. Why would you do that anyway? Why not pull him up by the underarms like most people. Gheez!

Answer 9

why would that be considered child abuse?