Is it depression? Or something else?

Question

My husband came back from Iraq with depression (or that's what the doctors say). But I have concerns. First of all, they say it's not PTSD because he's not claustrophobic. I'm not an expert, but I've done some research and have never seen that as a determining factor. Secondly, he's not only sad and withdrawn, but almost has a fear of communicating with me. If I try to talk to him about some of the problems we've had as a result of this, he shuts down and refuses to even speak. And if I push the issue, he gets downright mean, telling me I get on his nerves every time I open my mouth, etc. Is it normal to be mean to people when you're depressed? The antidepressants are helping with many of the symptoms - he's not nearly as heartless when he's on them. But he's still terrified of speaking to me, really anxious most of the time, and seems to have no emotions whatsoever except occasional anger. I hate to second guess the doctor, but this diagnosis was made after speaking to him for 20 minutes - and they talk to him about ten minutes per month to make sure he's not having weird side effects. So it seems like a mistake would be easy to make. I'm worried about him, and wonder if I should try to talk him into seeing another doctor, or just leave it alone.

Answer 1

let him go and see an other doctor. hope he gets well soon.  

Answer 2

I can't even to begin to imagine what it is like to be in your shoes, and especially your husbands shoes.

Have you seen the movie Stop-Loss? It is very good, and at least for me gave me some insight into what they go through their and when they come back.

He is obviously suffering. The things he must be feeling. I would try to find a doctor and a psychologist who specializes in soldiers who have returned from war. Do some good research. This is a situation where it is evident someone who knows what they are doing is needed.

I don't know if they have it or if it would help, but maybe a type of support group? Maybe if their is a group of wives and soldiers he will feel more open to talk. I heard that sometimes they are never as open as they once were.

My thoughts are with you hun. We are here for you an your husband and we wish you the best!!

Answer 3

You can take him to another doctor if he'll go. . . . he always has that right.  With him being military your options may be limited but you can always make a phone call to your insurance company and let them know that you're looking for a second opinion and is a civilian doctor an option.  They can give you a list and what your co-pay would be if you choose to go civilian.  Don't settle. . . . the doctors are human and they can always make a mistake.  If you aren't sure he'd see a different doctor if he went on base, go civilian.

Answer 4

Step 1: Ensure your emotion is controlled daily. Don't over reacted, stay calm and don't get worry easily

Step 2: Think before your action. Don't repeat her past experience on herself. Remind herself from time to time.

Step 3: Be confident to yourselves. Remember everyone is the winner. "Only One sperms out of millions fertilize an egg"

Step 4: Get a group of close friends to share your experience and get some activities that would occupied your time

Step 5: Increase scope of life. Meaning that she should involve in more social activities like dancing, outing and others.

Step 6: Put a rubberband on the wrist. If there is a negative thought, Tighten the rubber band and release it. Hence the effect of the pain would be able to reduce the possibility of negative thought.

Good Luck.

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Good Luck.

You may read more articles of mine through

Besides, If you have more psychological problem, please write to me at

http://drgeorgeleow.blogspot.com/

Answer 5

You are in a difficult situation and I feel for your husband. I too, suffer from bipolar. There could be a couple of explanations as to why he is shutting down with you. First, when you are trying to get him to talk about your problems as a couple and the problems that have resulted, for one, he already is feeling he is to blame, he is already feeling like nothing, therefore, it is easier to not want to discuss it. When people suffer from depression, many times we prefer not to discuss certain things because they make us feel worse. And, if anyone tries forcing us to, well, we can become aggressive. As a man and husband, the need is there to be the "strong" one. This makes a man feel really down because they cannot be. In regards to the Post Traumatic Stress, that is absolutely hogwash, the claustrophobic bit! Most of our soldiers return with the need for psych meds. and treatment for PTSD. No one has to ask why, given what they endured. Bless them all. And, from experience, what doctor can do a thorough evaluation in 20 mins.? That is ridiculous. A second opinnion never hurts. I went to one doctor, he evaluated me, took 2 hours. I chose to seek a second opinnon. That doctor also took 2.5 hours with me and came up with the same diagnosis. So, I would most definitely suggest a second opinnion. Also, some info. for you ... anti-depressants and psych. meds. can make one appear unemotional and uncaring. These drugs are making you that way for a reason ... so as not to be bombarded with emotions you (the depressed person) can't deal with. You can see them as having a protective circle around them, preventing them from feeling ... from feeling down or wanting to committ suicide. The one thing that can break a couple up, is one party having been diagnosed and suffering from mental illness, and the other party trying to understand and cope with it. Please, seek a support group where the two of you can go together, and one where you both can go individually. I am not sure what state you are residing in, but pull up on the internet, www.NAMI.org. NAMI stands for National Alliance For Mental Illness. It is a wonderful, non-profit organization. It offers numerous topics and day/s, time/s you can attend. They are nationwide. I hope there is one in your area. I totally understand how your husband is feeling, but your mental health will also suffer. I lost my husband of 12 years of whom I loved very much ... because of my mental illness. He refused support and refused to understand and learn how to cope whenever I had episodes (really down times). I don't want this to happen to the two of you. I wish you the best. I hope some of this info. will help you. God Bless.

Answer 6

he needs a therapist, not a medical doctor, someone he could talk to.  

Answer 7

See another Doctor. Keep going until you have nothing left but loneliness ,despair and voices in your head as friends. I'm telling you its not the Doctor thing that's wrong , You have to find the right professional for the persons symptoms.