Is it disrespectful to lock my door when I have a girl in my room?

Question

I've had this argument with my dad plenty of times before. I am 14 years old. My girlfriend and I like to go upstairs in my room to watch movies. Yes we are on the bed. But he tells me that it is disrespectful to lock the door while she is here. I feel that I'm entitled to my own privacy. He is controlling like most dads but I told him that he needed to learn to trust his son to make the right decisions. After all, I have never done anything stupid like that and he has no reason not to trust me. Do you see where I'm coming from? Who would you agree with? I know it's his house and I know I am going to hear plenty of your stories.... But just keep in mind where I am coming from... After all, every single one of you adults were 14 at one time and I garuntee the majorty of you have been in my situation....

Answer 1

Please respect your dad.  You aren't the adult - your dad is.  Trust me, he is doing what's best for you.  If you respect him, then he'll respect you and keep letting you have the freedom that you do have.  I do understand where you're coming from, but it's not the end of the world.  Be lucky that you do have such a loving father, your own room, a nice house to live in, and a girl that wants to come spend time with you.  Don't push it.  

Answer 2

Have you asked your dad WHY he wants the door unlocked?  My guess is that he will have a very responsible grown up answer.  I am a parent of 3 kids -- 2 of whom are grown and a 16 year old.  And, yes, I was once 14 years old with a boyfriend.  I never even had a boy in my room, let alone with the door closed, let alone locked!  However, I realize that time have changed and some parents now days are more liberal.  However, the same things happen now that they did then.  Therefore, you should listen to your dad.  He is responsible for you and your choices.  By the way, what would the girl's parents say?  I bet they would not be thrilled to know their young lady is in a bed, with a boy, in a room with the door closed and locked -- even if you and she are "not doing anything".  That situation makes it all too easy to give in to temptation and one thing leads to another and so on and so on.  Before long, that "freedom and privacy" will cause you problems.  And, if you are that free at 14, what will you be like at 16?  and 18?  You will grow and mature sexually a ton in those very very short years.  Just be careful.  You are flirting with disaster and your dad knows it.  He's just trying to protect you and your girlfriend.  Check with her parents -- I bet they agree with your dad!

Answer 3

im 14 and im not even allowed to have a boy in my room, i cant even have a boyfriend, consider yourself lucky. i dont think it is disrespctful though, that doesnt even make sense.

Answer 4

i get where your coming from but at the same time i get where hes coming from.

he doesnt want you to do anything with a girl. all parents check up on their kids when they have girls over/ boys over. most of the time people have to keep their door open. hes just being a normal dad.

and the whole thing is, yes we were your age before, thats why we tell you to keep the doors open/unlocked, if not then you would do it =p.

id have to agree with your dad on this one.

Answer 5

I think it is disrespectful for you to lock your door even when your girlfriend isn't there.  Your parents should have access to your room as long as they knock.  Barring them from a room in the house they own is wrong

Answer 6

well i cant even have my door shut. but its not disrespectful anyway why is he so nosey dosent he trust you?

Answer 7

First of all you are not showing your girl friend any respect by locking your door. Doesn't she feel uncomfortable with this? Would she lock her door if you were at her house? I don't think I know where you are coming from. I agree with your dad leave the door open. If you want your parents to respect you and her leave the door open. Why do you have to lock your door if you aren't doing something that you shouldn't be doing.

If you are in your room alone it's ok to lock your door and have your own privacy.  

Answer 8

If she is your friend and nothing more, then you should have no reason to lock the door.

You would not be mad at your father unless you had a reason to want the door locked so badly. In other words, you must like her as more than a friend or you would not care to leave it unlocked.

If you have siblings that bother you while your company is over (and that is the reason for locking the door)...go to her house and watch movies.

You should not be locked in a room with a member of the opposite s*x until you own the door you are locking.

Answer 9

Your dad wants to make sure your not, well, having s*x, or anything close to that, which might lead to s*x, and your girlfriend getting pregnant. If you're too responsible and mature to be doing that, as you obviously shouldn't be doing at 14, then maybe it sounds silly and paranoid to you that your dad is worried about it. Even so, try to see things from his point of view. Parents are naturally very worried about their kids in today's world when there are so many bad influences. Show him that he can trust you by co-operating and keeping the door unlocked.  

Answer 10

Even good girls have s*x so don't bring up trust here and i'm 17. So i know where you are coming from. but lets think where your dad is coming from. If you had a daughter and she was 14 up stairs with a guy would you want her to lock the door? i mean you "trust" her right?

Anyways keep your door unlock or even wide open for a week or so your dad can pop in and pop out w/e once he assure of himself then he will let it go

Answer 11

Well I'm in college, and I know that "watching a movie with your girlfriend" normally means you 2 are watching bits and pieces and making out for the rest.

Keeping the door locked may cause the two of you to go futher than you ever would with it open. It is a safety thing. If you aren't kissing you might as well leave it open. It keeps from their being a fight with the family and from accidents occuring. If you are then leave it open and kiss her. If your parent walks by they will understand, but leaving the door open means that is all you are doing and they might joke with you about it or say I walked past and saw you 2 kissing... they can get used to that though. Kissing is no big deal.

I'm 19 and I wouldn't close the door let alone lock the door at my boyfriends house because it is disrespectful. If he locked a door and his parents were home I would go over unlock it and keep it cracked open or all the way open. It is a sign of respect and allows me to have their trust and allows them to know that I care about their oppinions.  

Now when I'm up at school that is a completely different matter. I am on the same level as my friends and my business is my own. I am also not living under my parents roof so at this point my decisions are also my own and it isn't disrespectful. If my friends weren't so nosy and would at least knock before entering I prolly wouldn't lock the door, but if we are making out, it will embarass them to come in.

Answer 12

Yes, it is disrespectful to lock your door when you have a girl in your room. If you are not doing anything wrong then what is the issue?

Answer 13

If you and her want the door locked then lock it:)

Answer 14

I am 18 and my parents say the same thing.  i know where you are coming from yes, but i know where you dad is coming from too.  it IS after all his house, so i guess that means you have to follow the rules, and it isn't that unreasonable.  i know you want to have privacy, but being alone in your room with the door locked i guess i would say is kind of innappropriate, especially from a parent's perspective.  you'll have more freedom when your older, or in college, or on your own.  don't rush things. leaving the door open won't kill you

Answer 15

At only 14 years old, you need to listen to your father's rules.  If you weren't doing anything wrong, you wouldn't need to lock the door.  Closing it should be more than enough.  By locking it, you are preventing him from coming in and he is absolutely entitled to come in if he chooses to do so.  It is his house, not yours and you are a minor child.  The fact that you are allowed to have a girl in your room at such a young age is more than enough trust from your father and I think it is absolutely disrespectful for you to lock the door when he has asked you not to.  If I were him, I would remove the lock from your door if you keep locking it after he asked you not to.

Answer 16

at 14, no girl would have been allowed in my brother's room.  So, no.. it is not a position I have ever been in.  Being entitled to my own privacy is a phrase that was not in my vocabulary (or any one I know) until I was an adult. Had I attempted to lock any door (except the bathroom) in my parent's home, the doorknob would have been removed.

You will notice, of course (gray hair and all) that I am a few weeks past 14. I was 14, and the normal hormones were completely present. The difference is that I never had any expectation that I SHOULD be entitled to have a guy in my room.  My feeling is that respecting the rules in the house, is a part of making those right decisions.. instead of being the one to make the rules (or attempt to make the rules).

I won't be dishonest.. my friends and I, of course, found places and times to uh...uh.. be normal teens. It was not up to my parents to provide or respect those places. It was their function and responsibility to discourage these things, as best possible. THEY also were 14 at one point, and knew the game.

You asked the question, please be open to the answers, and not pick best, simply since it agrees with you.  Privacy with a girl in your room is not something you are entitled to.  

Answer 17

omg i know what u mean im 24 now. but when i was ur age my parents use to trip on me for having my door closed when a boy was in my room. so i had to leave it opened it sucked soo bad.  so i got sick of them getting mad at me and i just met guyz some where else like the park.  u should either meet them some where else. or do what ur parents say cuz it is their house. and plus their just worried ur gonna get a girl pregnant. and then ur screwed.  good luck.  

Answer 18

I do understand where you are coming from, but now that I am a mother of 3, I will give you my opinion. I think your dad is right for a number of reasons. The 1st and most important one is, I don't believe you should be alone in your room with a girl. As much as you may try to avoid things, sometimes hormones and emotions like to take over and you may regret doing some things. Secondly, it is not showing HER that you respect her! Why not just watch movies in the living room? And last of all, yes it is your dad's house and I think that you are entitled to your privacy when you are alone in your room, but not when you have invited a girl into the home.

Answer 19

well i'm 14

and i don't think it's disrespectful unless ur donig something other than watching movies i don't blame ur dad 4 thinking that but i still think it's ur choice

Answer 20

If you were my son not only would you not be spending time alone in your room with a girl, but you sure wouldn't be dating.

If you actually know what you are doing like you think you do, how come you aren't acting like a man and protecting your g/f's reputation by not putting her in an embarrassing position?

Your dad needs to stop just telling you its disrespectful but he needs to start actually acting like a parent and give you some direction. I don't care how much you think you know, you are not aware of the consequences of your actions. If you were, you would not be endangering someone you pretend to care about.  

Answer 21

i totally agree with you to certain point yes you would like for you dad to have more confidence in you and tha you would not disrespect the house hold. Yes I was 14 at one time and never had the opposite s*x in my room in the living was fine. Yes lil homie it is disrespectful. Are you paying in bills in the house are you renting out your room from your dad? Probably not therefore just listen to his rules if you dont like it you can always go to your girlfriends house and lock her bedroom door. HMMM I sure her parents are not going to have that.