Is it easy to adopt a child, I am single, working but I do not have a husband and want to be a mom?

Question

I would like to adopt a child I had seen that teenagers or women who doesn't want to have children tend to give them away Iam almost 43 years old time has gone through so fast that I don't think I have time to find a husband to become a mother and that is my most precious wish.....

Answer 1

There isn't any law or rule that says single women cannot adopt.  However, many agencies, private and state, may have individual preferences and requirements.  And so, you may have a harder time getting past the 'home study' for the adoption (even married couples have to show they are financially and emotionally stable, I imagine it is harder for singles).

I would recommend becoming a foster parent, or at least foster-to-adopt.

Answer 2

I watched a show (just like 2 weeks ago) on I think TLC on two couples that adopted from Siberia, they went over together as their agency matched families like that so that they could have one another there onsite for support.  Of the two of those families, one of a single mother who was about your age, maybe even a little older as she had two teenage sons.  She was single and wanted to adopt and was told she couldn't get a baby in the US because of her age and she wanted a baby.  Anyway, she went to Siberia and they showed her whole adoption process - and you should have seen the BEAUTIFUL little 9 month old baby she adopted.  I mean just the picture of a Gerber baby.  I was so proud for her that she committed herself so fully to her dream and didn't let them telling her 'you're too old' to get in the way.

There are a LOT of incentives to adopt - there are federal tax cuts over 10,500 as well as individual states have adoption benefits that apply to international as well as domestic adoptions.  Many companies now have adoption plans where they will give you a adoption "gift" to assist with the cost, many agencies have special loan processes in place.  So don't let your age or you finances get in the way of your dream.  Go for it!

Answer 3

Its not easy! If you're working, who's gonna look after the kid? Adopted kids come with a lot of issues. Research these & make sure you can deal with them. Find a counsellor who's good on adoption issues & talk it through with them.

If you don't have time for a husband, what about having time for a child? I think you need to do a lot more research into children's needs, particularly adopted children's needs, before you consider this seriously.

Answer 4

I hope that you don't really believe anyone would "give their child away".  Adoption is a very painful decision motivated out of a deep love for one's child.  If you understand that, adoption may be for you.  Being single makes the process take longer, it doesn't make it more difficult.  If this is a concern, look at international adoption.

Answer 5

Don't adopt for your own self-fulfillment. Adopt only to give a child a mom and secure, safe, loving home, a place of their own.

It is very easy to adopt through the foster system. It won't matter that you are single. They want to see that you are ready to give up your quiet care free life to raise a child.

yes, good luck to you!  i really hope everything works out! remember to educate yourself on adopted children and what they want to know and feel. They want you to be honest and not lie about their birth parents, as well as feel just as loved as they would if they were your own birthed child.

Answer 6

i am sorry to hear that your timing is limited. i think your best bet would to find a teeneager like you spoke of that is willing to give up her baby. I have always heard going through agencies is hard when you are un married they tend not to concider you as much. I would put an add up in the news paper i see them all the time. explain your situation possibly offer the mother visitations? best of luck to u!!!

Answer 7

no its really not just contact your local social services and they can give you all the details.

Answer 8

No, it's not easy to adopt.

It's not easy to BE adopted, either.

Try doing some research into the effects of adoption on the child before you go begging pregnant teens for their children.  Separation trauma, lifelong issues with depression, attachment disorders, low self-esteem, the list goes on.  

My most precious wish was to not be adopted and to stay with my real mother.

Answer 9

We are not put on earth to fulfil the needs of others.   Please ensure that the childs interests come before your own

If you are single and working, who will parent the child - a daycare centre or a nanny, hardly ideal for a child who has already lost so much

Answer 10

If having a child was your most 'precious wish', it doesn't sound like you are a very good planner.

Look into a school-ages foster to adopt situation.  I think the infant ideal has already passed you by.

Accept it, and move on with Plan B.

Answer 11

Call your local social services and ask for adoptions.  They will provide you with all of the information you need.  Being single has nothing to do with your being able to adopt.  There are literally thousands of children in foster care that are waiting for a permanent home.  Getting an infant is much more time consuming.  Good luck.

Answer 12

If you have seen that teenagers or women who don't want their children tend to "give them away", then it must be easy.

Answer 13

I know you say that you don't have time to find a husband before you become a mother, but are you still *able* to have children? If you are, I would suggest going to a sperm bank and having your own biological child because, as the answers you have already received indicate, it is difficult for a single mother to adopt.

Of course, it is not impossible, but you are 'competing' against married couples...and if you were a young woman giving up a child for adoption or a social worker looking for the best placement for a child, would you choose a 43-year-old single woman? Again, not impossible, but you need to be realistic about your chances.

If you are already unable to have children or you discover this later on, then by all means try to adopt. As suggested by others, your best bet would be a foster-to-adopt situation or adoption of an older child.

And just so you know, I have a relative (a single woman) who has a beautiful son through sperm donation and a friends-of-the-family older couple who have 4 beautiful children through a (slightly quirky) foster-to-adopt situation...and nobody could be happier. Whatever you decide, best of luck.

Answer 14

No, it's not easy to adopt.  It takes a whole lot of work, time, and energy.  Being a parent will take even MORE.  But I'm sure that's not what you meant.  The process includes a lot of paperwork and, again, time and energy.  Take some time to research it first.  My husband and I found a really great web site that had a LONG questionnaire about adoption.  It really helped us to look at all the possibilities, and help us decide if this was really for us.  Unfortunately, I had the link saved on our old computer...but like I said, do some research.  Raising an adopted child is NOT like raising a biological child.  An adoptee will grieve for his/her whole life for the parents s/he does not have, and you have to be prepared to help him/her through this.  Plus, if you're adopting through foster care, you have to be prepared to deal with possible organic brain damage via FASD, emotional issues due to violence, drugs, etc. in the home...etc.

I'm not trying to discourage you.  If you've got it in you to give your life to a child who needs you, without expecting a single thing in return (face it, an adoptee is not going to love you all the time, and you're going to hear "you're not my REAL mom!"), if you have a never-ending supply of love and are willing to devote that love to your child...then go for it.  Preferably to a child in foster care...much more rewarding and necessary.

Good luck!

Answer 15

Honey, for most children in this country where the mothers are generous enough to give them up,  there are lines of people waiting to adopt.  

Find a country that allows single women to adopt.  Your age will be a handicap in finding a child.  You might need to accept a child with handicaps.  Good luck!