Is it ever ok to invade your teens privacy?

Question

my teen is very active in sports and his friends. I like to check his myspace page and his cell phone for pics he may of been sent.. Am I being overly protective? He has NEVER done anything bad nor has he been in any trouble. He even works with his grandpa on weekends and in the summer to pay for things he wants

Answer 1

I never felt I had a reason to invade my child's privacy. But,I was blessed with a child who never gave me a reason I felt I had to.

I would only invade his space if I felt there was a major problem that I had to keep tabs on.

I hated when my mother would go through my things when I was a teen. I wouldn't want to do it to my child.

My son is 21 and has never felt he had to hide anything from me. I go on his my space page all the time and leave him stupid messages.

Sounds like you have a good kid too. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 2

No you should have some trust in your son. It is a two way street. He gave you no reason to be suspicious of him. So if you want him to continue to be open toward you and trust you.. give him space. The only time I believe that it is legal and necessary to invade a teens privacy is if you notice a drastic character or mood change. Then there could be depression or drugs involved. If he or she behaves as usual for a teenager, then do leave them the space they need and they are much more likely to see you as a confidante and come to you if there is some real trouble, but if they know you are going through their private things.. and they find out.. the trust will be lost forever, you shouldn't risk that. It's important that parents and their teenage kids are on good terms and that there is a mutual basis of trust. If he was a binge drinker or something like that you would see a change in him. If you don't then trust him x

Answer 3

Its good to be vigilant and if you've been doing it this whole time please don't stop. Teens get into trouble a lot so wait for him to come to with certain problems and never be confrontational.

Kudos to you for being a good parent.

Answer 4

I know some people will probably disagree with my answer but I would check into his life and see what he's up too. We live in a crazy crazy world with the internet and cell phones. You can never be too sure what your child is up too. Now I'm not recommending that you get to the point of being impossible and not allowing your child to live their life and learn from their own experiences... but at the same time you have to protect them.

Answer 5

Yipes! Checking his myspace page and cell phone?!

I understand you're concerned and you love him and you're trying to be the best mother you can be, but I'm 14 and I know if my mom ever went on my myspace, or cell phone without permission, I'd totally freak out on her. Does he know you're doing this? If he does and he's cool with it, then that's fine. But It might be best to back off a bit.

good luck!

<3 :)

Answer 6

This is kind of the equivalent of you being a really good worker, and yet having your boss go through all the e-mails you send and receive from your office e-mail. You are definitely being overprotective. He has a right to privacy, especially since his history makes it obvious that he's a good kid.  How would you like it if people went through all your stuff? You're being a little nosy. He's entitled to keep some secrets from you, it's obviously not going to be anything really bad.