Is it fair for a grandmother to pay for the education of only some of grandchildren?

Question

Here is my situation:

My children's grandmother pays for private school education for her other 2 grandchildren, but not mine. Her other grandchildren live with a deadbeat father who doesn't lift a finger to work, so she wants them to have a good education. I am happy for them that, I think they deserve it. However, I live in a city where public schools are not good, and I send my children to private school. This is a stretch and sacrifice for me (which I am willing to make) as I am a single mother. My children's grandmother is my ex-husband's mother who I am very close to, as my own mother passed away. I get no child support, went back to school for a better degree, and work full-time. She is aware that it is difficult for me to make tuition payments, but does not offer any help on that front. Am I wrong to feel that I wish all 4 grandchildren would have the same benefit?

Answer 1

Well it is her money, but I do understand how you feel. maybe she feels like since your kids are already in private school you don't need any help.If you need financial help the father should be the one to help with costs.  

Answer 2

I know it's not easy to bring up kids on your own, I grew up with my mom.

Regarding your mom in law, it's her money and she can choose to do whatever she wants with it. She is probably helping the other 2 grandchildren as they need it more. It's good that you are happy for them.

Since you are close to her, maybe you can try to explain your situation to her and find a nice way to ask her for some help.

If it works out, good, if not don't resent her either.

Personally, I think putting your children through private shools don't make them successful, pullting them through public school don't make them losers, it's whether you spend time with them to teach them the right values that is going to make a difference.

In fact, some good schools breed spoilt brats who are self centered, good for nothing sloths with no aspirations in life as there is zero push factor for them to work hard.

If you can't afford to or if you want to save up cash for more important things, you may want to consider switching your children to public school. I should think tertiary education will be more crucial for career success and the good ones cost much more.

Also consider findng a good husband? I always thought my mom could have done that haha.

God Bless!

Answer 3

wrong ,,,,h**l no...but remember it is HER MONEY

Answer 4

no, you are not wrong to feel that way... any mother would

However, it is Her money, and in my opinion, if she would rather give it to the neighbor's kid, that is her business

many many grandparents don't treat all the grandchildren equally, and it often causes bad feelings to the kids and their parents, that's just life

i would sure get the ball rolling on getting some child support from the father

Answer 5

It's understandable that you'd be having the thoughts you're having. But, the truth is, everyone has a right to decide what they'll do with their own money. Maybe she can only afford to fund two educations, and she chose them because of their home situation. Whatever the reason, it's her decision to make.

I hope you won't let this ruin your relationship with her. If she's willing to offer a good relationship with your kids and some occasional babysitting and support for you, be happy for that. And be proud that you're a good mom who puts her kids first.

Answer 6

it's not fair but ultimately up to her the children will feel the favoritism later in life too.  her daughters kids i take it