Is it fair for a parent to expect the child to stay home for a few years after college graduation?

Question

to help out with household payments and what not?

Answer 1

well that depnds on where the child's loyalty stays

if your family is of low income, and sturuglgling, of course its fair, and of his duty to help his family out

but if your doing financially well, then its really up to the child, if he or she wants to live a few years  back at home

but after the stage of college, its usually they leave the bird house, and focus on there own live,/goals

Answer 2

No.

Did you finance the kids college? If you did and it was already stipulated that he was going to pay you back then it is fair to ask him to reimburse you- it however is not fair to ask him to stay living at home and help with your house payments. The house that you chose to live in is your bill and not his.

If he wants to stay home then he should help with the payments. He should not live rent free especially if it is strapping you.

When you choose to have a child that is an expense one must figure for, for about 18 years. You are under no obligation however to fund a college education unless that is something that you want to do.

Once he is over 18 he has no obligation to refund you UNLESS he is *choosing* to stay under your roof OR you paid for his college and told him that he must reimburse you.

That is just my opinion- take it or leave it.  

Answer 3

uh, no, they graduated college and have a life of their own!  If you paid for much of their college and are expecting them to help pay it back I hope that issue was discussed before you started paying.  And they dont have to live at home to help pay it back!  

Answer 4

Lol no!  That's the meanest ******* thing I've ever heard you bloody old cow!

When someone graduates college they want to start their ******* life, and not "help out with household payments!"

Jesus Christ, what are you, the devil?  ...Well he's not even that bad!!!

Answer 5

I would imagine it is a personal decision between both parent and child.  Of course the parent needs to be willing to allow the student some freedom.  However if one or the other party tries to manipulate the other into getting his or her way then the relationship is dysfunctional and they need to go their separate ways.  I would also advise some counseling to make this decision easier.  Or if money is a factor here like it sounds like it is then a member of the clergy may be available to help.    

Answer 6

No.  The child should live his/her own life

Answer 7

no.

unless you specifically loaned them money, then they don't owe you a thing.  if they do owe you money, you should expect them to try and pay you when they can, but not to expect them to stay home.

the only reason a child should stay home after graduation is if they can't make their own rent payments and have to stay at home, or if they actually want to live at home for a while.

Answer 8

It is if they paid for your schooling, they didn't owe you that!  Was if fair for you to make your parents pay for all your schooling?  NO!  Paybacks are a bit  ch aren't they?

Answer 9

Was that part of a prearranged agreement? Did the parents take out a second mortgage or other loan to put the child through?

If it was a situation like that, I'd say yes. But in this case, there isn't enough information given to decide.

Answer 10

no it isn't fair

they need to get on with their life

Answer 11

no not at all, when you go to college in fact you should move out and cary your own costs

and you need to get a job to start building your own life, making savings and prepare for the moment you are to setle down and start your own family

Answer 12

No, not really. When you're 18 do what you want. You're a grown up, and I bet their only saying it so you won't leave 'cause parents can't move on when their kids grow up. My parents are like that to.

Answer 13

I don't believe so... i mean parents shouldn't expect anything back in the first place because it would be like collecting debt from a person who, in the first place, they chose to raise and love on their own unconditionally...

otherwise, the parents would end up looking like they were in it for the rewards in the end, which is kinda awful and selfish right.

But if the child is grateful enough and has moral sense and concern for his parents then he should help them in ways he can.

Answer 14

with the way the cost of living is..if the child stays home it is actually cheaper for them too..helping out with home expenses is normal thing for them to do.

Answer 15

they shouldnt expect it but the child still should help out, there are other ways to do that than to have them stay at home at that age

Answer 16

You haven't given enough information for an unbiased answer.

If you're the student, then think about the sacrifices your folks probably made to help finance your education and consider whether it isn't only fair to try to help them get back to a sound financial position - at least for a little while.  If you do, then have a clear agreement as to how long you will be staying and what amount you will be paying each month - how much of it is for your own expenses of food, laundry, etc. and how much of it is "rent" or to help out with their fronting the cost of your education.

If you're the parent, realize that your child is an adult and don't expect to treat him/her as you did when he/she was younger.  Also, once again, agree on a clear arrangement at the outset as to the length of the stay and what the costs, etc. will be.

As a student, you will be more financially sound by living at home for a few years and paying a minimal rent.  Compare what your parents want from you with what you'd have to pay for rent and utilities on your own or with a group of roomies.  Also, remember that not all roomie situations are like "Friends"; sometimes it can become a nightmare situation with not everyone being financially or emotionally responsible, and you could have lots of potential exposure to unwanted problems in a roomie situation.  Absolutely, under NO circumstances, should you ever date a roomie.  Too many potential problems in that kind of a situation:  one of you might even be forced to move to resolve them.

There's just no absolutely "black" or "white" answer to your question. It depends on the people involved, what each wants from the situation, and what each is willing to bring to it.

Sit down and have an open-minded discussion with the other parties involved.

Answer 17

No it is not fair.  Your child is no longer your child, they are an adult now and able to make their own decisions.   If you as a parent really need the help, then you should be able to ask your child.  But don't expect or demand that they do.  

Answer 18

no the person is an adult and they can do what they want. it is OK to help out and it is appreciated but not necessary