Is it fair for parents to get mad about something that happened over 4 months ago?

Question

Back in April I went to a concert with the guy I was seeing at the time and my parents thought I was staying at my friends. They wouldn't let me go to the concert just because it was in another town and they didn't like him so I told a small white lie. They never knew until today when my step dad was cleaning out my car and found the ticket. So now they are so ANGRY. But it's four months later!!!! I'm spending the summer with my dad and it's now this huge deal because my mom wants me to be grounded and I don't think it's fair.I've broken up with the guy and am having a good summer. If I'd gotten caught then and she was mad I would have sucked it up but this is the middle of SUMMER.

What should I do? Please give me advice. This is the summer b4 my senior year. It's so important to me and she is trying to ruin it for something that happened so long ago!

Answer 1

Yes it is fair for them to be mad at you.  You lied to them, and your broke their trust.  Suck it up kiddo.  You got busted.

Answer 2

Dont lie to your parents again!

Answer 3

Yep its fair, regardless ofthe time frame you still lied and you where sneaky.. and im sure they are even angrier that they found out now and not earlier, being grounded is never fun regardless of how long and i personally dont think i ever learned anything from it, mostly resentment but not much you can do, and no matter what you say they wont change their minds.  I can say well you got what you deserve but i woulda proabbly snuck out an lied too lol... it sucks that you where caught 4 months later!!  You got to remember to throw the evidence away!  About 10 years ago,  actually the summer before my senior year i snuck out to my boyfriends house an said i was staying at a friends, i got grounded the WHOLE summer i was soooo pisssed!  But i lied i got cought and i suffered the conciquinces.. maybe you will get lucky and they wont ground for for long.. or talk with your mom tell her how irrisponsible it was of you and how sorry you are and how you wish you told her sooner.. bla bla suck up maybe it will get you less time, dont argue and fight it, it will only make it worse.  GL

Answer 4

I think she has a right to be mad, but because you are leaving for you dad's she can't really say you have to be grounded. Just let her be upset and move on with life.

Answer 5

Yes, he has the right to be angry. What happened for you months ago is brand new for him. You had to expect he would be angry with you ... sorry, that's just the way it is. What do you need to do?  Sit down with dad and tell him you are sorry for your childish behaviour and you realize that you should just tell the truth, considering you are almost an adult and you need to do the growing up thing. Facing up to our stupid actions is part of growing up

Answer 6

in my opinion it does matter

more is at stake than something that is done and over with it has to do with trust and honesty first the conduct then the lie that has gone on for four months

then they re is the attitude that your parents feelings are not important it is more than just you

if it had been resolved four months ago it very well could be different it had been settled then but i has not

one way to look at it would be to turn it around if someone you trusted like your boy friend had decided to go to the same concert with a girl you did not like you talked about it and he told you he wouldn't take her then four months later you find they re ticket stubs in his car

hes not seeing her any more would that be good enough for you

Answer 7

You need to be calm and tell her that she went because you were betrayed that your own mom didn't trust you. At the time you were not thinking of the consequences. Life goes on and you are sorry for what you did. You are not with that guy so they should be happy, anyways. I can definitely see where they are coming from and they need to know you UNDERSTAND. You are becoming older and everyone makes mistakes, they were a teenager once before... everyone makes mistakes! Get over it, move on and life your life! Good Luck though girl! It won't be easy

Answer 8

So let me get this straight... you did something (VERY) wrong and then hid it from your parents for 4 months... and you are surprised that they are angry? That doesn't make any sense! I would be MORE angry because of all the time that had passed before I found out. You are getting what you deserve, maybe this will teach you some respect for your parents. What should you do? Suck it up, apologize, and behave.

Answer 9

they are justified.  you made a poor and immature decision that was deceitful.  i would have a hard time trusting you with anything you said for a long time, too.

Answer 10

THERE is a thing called TRUST! here is the problem the next time you want to spend the night some where don't you think your parents are not going to trust you..

If your parents lied to you about something that be dangrous to there life how ticked would you be,,

NOT only that if YOUR a minor they are responsible for you..so if you do something stupid they have to pay for your stupid mistake..

Answer 11

You have to remember, for you it happened 4 months ago - but for your parents who just found out about it - it just happened. Either way, you lied and can't be trusted - the only thing you can do now is earn their trust back.

Answer 12

You still did it. It does not matter if it was a year later. You blatently  disobeyed them and they found out now.  Yes i would ground you now and I would also have a really tight leash on you next school year.  I would feel violated and like i could not trust you.  It was really dangerous what you did.  Anything could of happened and they would have no idea where you were.  I would not stop you from prom or anything because those are once in a life time events but if i were your parents you would have a crappy senior year. I will have to rebuild trust and i will not let you go as many places

Answer 13

That is NOT a small white lie.

Yes, being punished is fair.

Answer 14

Your mother is not trying to ruin your summer. She's being a responsible mother and teaching you a lesson. If you stole something or murdered someone and didn't get caught for 30 years shouldn't you still get punished? Not that this can be compared to murder but it's the same concept. Suck it up and deal with it like you said. You do the crime you pay the time. And remember all things that are done in the dark will surely come to light (even if it's 4 months later)!

Answer 15

I think that the "small white lie" Could have gotten you killed. And I really don't care when it happened you are still grounded so that maybe next time you will think before you do something so stupid.

I sound like you mother don't I! LOL

Answer 16

yes... why does it matter how long ago it was, you still lied and acted irrisponsibly.... thats kinda like saying...hey maybe the jews should just get over the holocaust.........4 months is not a long time

Answer 17

This isn't just something that happened four months ago, you did something against their wishes, potentially dangerous, and you were deceitful.  I think you're going to have to suck it up now.

I'm not a big one for punishing my kids, but defiance that includes potentially dangerous behavior requires consequences.  I don't know if it would be grounded for the summer, more probably for a couple of weeks, with a boatload of chores.  And your dad should give you a good talking to as well.

PS:  What you're inquiring about is a "statute of limitations."  The "statute of limitations" on parents getting angry for teenage stuff doesn't run out until your senior year in college or the day you are fully independent and self-supporting, depending on how conservative your family is.  My brother and sister and I laugh about this stuff in our 30s and 40s, but I can still recall a couple of things I did that my parents wouldn't laugh at.

Answer 18

You told a "small white lie", you say? No, it was in no way small. You directly disobeyed them. You went to another city with a guy your parents told you not to be around. She is not trying to ruin anything. She's punishing you for being a lying, sneaky little brat. You're lucky I'm not your father--you'd be confined to your room for the rest of the summer and I would be selling your car.

Answer 19

Suck it up and be punished. You've betrayed their trust. Now, since so much time has passed, they are freaking out about what else you may have lied to them about. It's going to take a lot of work from you to gain the trust you lost with your little white lie, and a better start would be to apologize instead of getting mad at them for catching you!

BTW, why is Daddy cleaning out your car for you? If it's your car, it should be your responsibility.

Answer 20

The only thing that you can do is to work hard to regain their trust. Apologize and act like you mean it. Going against their wishes in the way that you did proved that you were not able to be trusted at the time, were defiant and showed poor judgement in general. This is why they are angry. Furthermore, they only found out because you left the ticket in the car. Had you not done so, they would never have known. That cannot make any parent feel good. Especially since anything can happen when you are out with friends. The least you can do is let your parents know where you are. I know adults who let their parents know where they are going and who with. It's just common sense and respect, if nothing else.