Is it fair my mom makes me go to church when I don't want to?

Question

I'm 17 and I'm not a believer. Plus she makes me wear Sunday Best (that means worst) a girly-girl pink dress with urrgh pantyhose.and flat shoes.She even insists I wear white bra/briefs- I mean God shouldn't be looking, should He?

Answer 1

if it is her house, and she pays all the bills... your food, your clothes, your place to live, then yes it is fair

if you pay your own way, pay her rent to live in her house, pay for your own clothes, and food... then it is not fair

Answer 2

It's not fair for your mom to make you go. She should respect your wishes and beliefs, even if she does not agree. Even though she doesn't, you have one year and you will never have to go...

And BTW- God probably doesn't care if you wear a white bra or a blood red one with yellow polka dots [or whatever].

Answer 3

Well, I think your mom loves you and wants whats best and I also think you should respect her wishes. Think of all the times she did things for you that she didn't want to do. You shouldn't turn away from god either. It's not like she's taking you to a prison or something.

Answer 4

thats not fair at all.

just refuse to go.

and if she still makes you go

laugh loudly at everything the priest says.

lmfao im just kidding dont do that :P  

Answer 5

Maybe talk to your mom and tell her how you really feel. Tell her that making you go to church is not going to make you become a believer if you dont believe. Give her REAL reasons why you dont believe maybe shell listen.

For you judgemental folk out there she doesnt believe who cares ? Its her spiritual path not yours so zip it

Answer 6

of course it's not fair. nothing in life is fair. but since you're 17, she kinda will get her way. wait until you turn 18, she cant make you go anymore.

do you tell your mother that you're not a believer? is she understanding about it? i'm guessing not since she makes you dress all nice....

no offence, but i think your mom is way to focused on outward appearances. she probably doesnt want everybody at church to think she cant handle her child....

Answer 7

I'm 14 and my mom almost never goes to church but I go almost every Sunday with my grandpa because I want to. Just say a prayer and try to communicate with God. Trust me, it could make your life easier.

BTW the clothes ur mom makes u wear really suck :D. Convince her to let u wear something else. (not ripped jeans or anything like that)

Answer 8

What a load. Tell her you aren't going, period. She can't force you to go nor can she force you to believe in it.

Answer 9

Yeah, it's fair she's your kid, therefore she can do it. I'm 13, and I don't believe in God, but my mom still makes me go to church. I'm her kid, so she can make me do what she wants to. It's not fair, but who ever said life was fair? You're almost 18; then you can do whatever you want!

Answer 10

It doesn't matter what's fair. You're a minor and have to do as she says. Sorry.

The Bible says to train up your children right, she's only trying to help. She probably doesn't realize that forcing it is only making it worse.  

Answer 11

umm yes tht is right for her

its your mom and thts her religion so you shuld follow it

and God wants you to wear the best

because church is God's houe and you need to look nice,

and respectful

Answer 12

I feel your pain, but I just dealt with it. Having annoyed parents is more annoying than having to put up with an hour of church.

Answer 13

Yes it is fair even though you probably do not want to hear that.  Your mom sounds like a good mom and that is a mother's job.  She is trying to set you in the right direction.  Once you are 18 it is a different story. And when you get older you will learn to appreciate what your mom does.   If you do not like wearing the girly dresses then just tell her you would like to dress more casual....It does not matter what you wear to church as long as you are there.  

Answer 14

She's trying to help you. She's doping her best to keep you from burning in h**l. Which I hope happens! and as long as you live under HER roof you wil ldo what SHE tell YOU to do cuz that the MOM'S JOB!  

Answer 15

I laughed at "God shouldn't be looking" too, but really, she is just trying to give you what she believes to be the best moral start in life, there's going to be YEARS when it's up to you to decide and having solid values will always be a help. Thinking the *right* things, thou shalt not kill, and all of that will not hurt you.

Even if you can't buy in to the flood and the ark thing, maybe you like the idea that God sent the rainbow? I do. And the Christmas story - it's a nice story, enjoy it, feel good at Christmas. Sing songs and feel happy that you are in the one place where you are allowed to sing with other people. There's far to little joy and singing in life when you get older, as kids you sung every day in school, as an adult, people look at you weird if they catch you singing.  Once you know you can't sing, you stop doing it. Little kids generally can't sing, but they have joy - and they will all sing you a song if you ask them too.

Just go and see what you can get out of it. There is something to be found in everything, your job is to find what you can learn from every experience.

Answer 16

no, it is not. but maybe she's trying to make you believe again, which i'm not sure she should be doing. i hate when people force their religions on you.but at the same time, athiests shouldn't go around pushing anything either. i'm an athiest and i don't try to convert others.

calmly explain to her that you are a non-believer, and she should respect that. but if she wants to spend time with you, then do something else, like shopping or seeing a movie.

Answer 17

If parents only understood you cannot shove religion down someone's throat, lots of families would have happier weekends.  

All the kids I know whose parents force them to go to church absolutely rebel, and can't wait to go out on their own.

Plus, any spirituality they have is crushed under all this obligation.   I hear what my son's friends say, & see the consequences.

Is there any way you can explain your feelings to her and come to some sort of compromise?  

I think being inwardly free to believe or not believe is a right all humans should have, no matter what the parents believe.

Answer 18

yes that is unfair you are almost an adult and if you are responsible you should be allowed to make your own decisions.religion should be of choice and never forced apon.

Answer 19

my parents are like that also.i hated it but then i though

when im 18 they cant tell me what to do...

so just make them happy for now

..till your 18

itss best to stay on their good side you know?

Answer 20

yes, she's just showing you her ideas, and until you move out, you have to do what you're told. It's ok she's biased and its ok your opinions differ. Just try to relax and have an ok time because you have to be there anyway

Answer 21

I don't think it is fair at all. But you're 17 and she can't make you once you're 18 so I say stick it out for one more year.

Answer 22

Really, until your 18 she can make you do whatever she wants to make you do. But I am a Christian and its very sad that you arent a believer. Also i noticed that you did capitolized God and He which shows respect to his name. She really should respect your decision not to go but if she does continue to make you go i would try to listen and learn something.

I hope this helps

~Ginny

Answer 23

In my opinion, that's definitely not fair.  Your mom shouldn't make you do something that you don't want to be a part of, let alone something you don't believe in.  You should talk to your mom and tell her how you feel.  She should realize that you are old enough to start making some of your own decisions.  Good Luck!

Answer 24

I'm pretty sure that religion is an individual choice.Tell her you dont want to go and why.If she still makes you go then I guess you have to wait until you move out to have an opinion.

Answer 25

"God shouldn't be looking, should he" LOL.

Unfortunately, until you are 18 and still living in her house, you are to do what she says.

You don't have to believe in her religion.Explain your situation to her but don't expect anything you want to hear.

Look at it on the bright side, you are almost there!

And for all the religious people posting comments...get over yourselves! not everyone is religious and it's always going to be that way.

Answer 26

Sure it's fair. She is feeding and clothing you and putting a roof over your head, and she's also responsible for your spiritual well being.

How about you actually listen and participate when you are there - you might learn something.

When you are all grown up and out living on your own, you can make your choices then.

Answer 27

it's not fair, she should let you be your own person and accept you.

But I think she only does it because no Christian mother wants her kid to not believe in God, so she's trying to "help" and "save" you.

She's only doing because she cares, but maybe you should try talking to her and explaining that she won't change your mind and she's only making your relationship with her worse by forcing religion on you.

Answer 28

just because you don't believe in god doesn't mean god doesn't believe in you.

-:D god is awesome so stop whining please. i bet you don't even understand all the things he has done for you. saying that it is your choice.

-im 13 so dont think that i am a mom or anything i am just a strong believer in god. and i am a leader of a christian club.

-you asked for my opinion i gave it to you so dont get mad

-ps your welcome..i will pray for you to know god.

-have a good day:D

Answer 29

i don't think its good to shove religion in someones face but you have to go untill your 18 when you 18 then you don't have to.i myself am a christian but don't think if a persons dosn't want to go to church then they don't want to go to church. i mean its not going to beafit them unless if they wanna go.

Answer 30

You are 17 years old and you're throwing a 10 year old tantrum. And as a sign of your immaturity of thought, you claim you're a non-believer yet you're concerned that God may be looking. You have endured your parents care, love, protection and shelter for 16 years, you can't wait 1 more? Did I say 10 years old? I mean 7 years old.

Answer 31

well,its not fair at all and ur mom shuldnt do that

however,she is making u go cuz she wants u to learn somthing or u know get used to it... or mabey cuz she wants to spend time with u in a very wierd way lol