Is it fair that my partner expects me to put my pay into his mortgage, without having my name on it?

Question

My partner wants me to have my pay check deposited into his mortgage for six months before he will put my name on the mortgage, i am not too comfortable with this idea. He says that he has more to loose (half a house) than i have, (my pay) therefore i should prove that i can do it before he puts my name on to the mortgage. We are not married and have only been living together for a few months.

Am I over reacting with my concerns, or should i be worried by his actions?

Answer 1

I highly suggest you two go to a financial planner or marriage counsel er ASAP.  Finances can and does break up otherwise wonderful relationships!!!  Get these things worked out before you move on in your relationship.....I guarantee you will be much happier in 5 years if you go through the pain now!!

Answer 2

So you have both been living together for a whole few months and you 'have" to deposit your whole pay check into "HIS" morgage or 6 months before he'll put your name on it. Isnt he a very lucky man to find some one to do that for him.  HES TAKING YOU FOR A RIDE!  GET OUT NOW AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.  BE VERY WORRIED!

Answer 3

Since you are living together it would be like rent.  Tell him you will pay half the mortgage since you live there, that is only fair.

Answer 4

instead of helping him with the mortgage maybe you can offer to help him with other expenses...

i cant blame you for not helping with the mortgage but you should contribute to the other bills..

you cant ask for your name to b on the title or deed either...also if he owns the property before you guys get married he wont lose it if you divorce because its property he obtained before you guys became husband and wife..

Answer 5

You should definitely pay for your keep, but your fair share only - at the most.

This is a little harsh but at least he is honest about what he wants. It seems that he is fearful of loosing his security.  Most men , unfortunately, hear so much horror stories about split up and divorce and men loosing their house & their money on top of being heart broken.

At least you are discussing some future issues here that seem to suggest permanency.  I think you should find some ways of addressing his concerns.

If you do what he says :  Can you touch your pay-check or do you have to ask him for money?

What about having a joint account and that a portion goes from there into the mortgage account each month.  What I mean is agree on an amount that would come from each partner for the running of the household.  Each have an automatic deposit from their main account into there.  From the joint account, pay for joint things including the mortgage.

I am not sure what is like for other countries, but in the UK 6 months living together you could be classed as common-law wife with quite a lot of rights.  However, if things go wrong it is always messy trying to prove it all in court.

Could you open this joint account, agree on the sum from each person on the basis that he puts you on the mortgage too?  (If he doesn't then you should get him to understand that you will be putting in less.  There is also an advantage to not being on his mortgage.  You are free to take out your own to buy a property which could act as an investment eetc)  Mortgage isn't about just assets (deposit or surplus value from the loan) but also the liabilities of paying it off.  May be you could point that out to him that tell him of your concerns too.  

Please don't fight over it, you are dealing with his fears here so go gently.

You could also get an independant contract witnessed as to how much he had put into the house before you two starts living together to reassure him.  For example get the house valued, get the mortgage statements so far together, get proof of his deposit for the transaction - put them together with the agreement.  Use this as the starting point.  It's similar to a pre-nuptual.

I hope that you would be able to sort things out.

Answer 6

I get it. Your good enough to pay mortgage, and live with, but not good enough to trust and marry. He is a jerk! Find someone new.  

Answer 7

Don't do it! What guarantee is he giving you that if you break up, he will pay you that money back plus interest? I would not trust any man who asked me to make his house payments for him.

What ever you do, you better have it written down clearly on paper and have him sign it. Then put that paper in a safe deposit box, where he can't get to it.

Find out in your state what is the highest amount of money you can sue a person in a small claims court. The total amount of money you make for his houses payments in that 6 months, should not exceed the amount of money you can sue him in small claims court. If after 6 months he doesn't put your name on the mortgage, then stop paying on the house and file suit against him and take him to court for the amount of money you invested in his house. Don't deposit your pay check into his mortgage. You write a personal check only. This way you can get a copy of this check from the bank to prove to the court that you made these payments.

I'm really suspicious of what your partner is trying to do and I personally wouldn't do it. But at the same time I'm suspicious of you for wanting to have your partner put your name on the mortgage of his house when you have only been living with him a few months. If I was him I wouldn't do it.

Answer 8

No way or less he gives you a sign letter stating you get this money back when you if you leave lol if he so bothered about the house well money more important than you so i think is he worth the stress

Answer 9

I can see both of your concerns and I understand them fully.  How about instead of you paying direct into his mortgage account you keep all the money in your account and when the six months is up you hand him all the money in exchange of him adding you to the mortgage or you have the 6 months equivalent in savings do it now.  Do remember your name needs to be added to the title deeds so that you would then own 1/2 the house if that's what your arrangement is.

You don't actually say how long he has owned his home but if I were him I would expect you to pay 1/2 of what he has already paid if you want your name on the mortgage.

EDIT:  Ammarah T - you are misinformed about the common law rule it is a myth.  Look it up.

Answer 10

My ex husband did this to me, he kept promising to put my name on the mortgage and never did and would not let me touch the thermostat because I did not "contribute" to the household.  I say bs, I did plenty around the house.  to me it is a matter of respect and somehow he is wanting you to prove your worth by having you pay for six months, total bs. dont see this one lasting, sorry

Answer 11

sure, do that, but: pay through bank and keep all the receives and be sure there is very clearly stands his account where u deposited your money and his name. so later, if u ever break up or he will break the deal and won't put u on the mortgage u may go to court, show all the receives and he will return u all the money. do what he says, but do it smartly. u may also go to your bank and consult there how is it better to do. good luck