Is it fair that we are considering a termination as we cannot afford another child? We do not know what to do?

Question

My husband and I have always worked hard and never claimed any benefits etc. This pregnancy should be an exciting time for us both and our girls, however we have done the maths and there is no way we can afford another child.... Is this fair??? Surely this is against our human rights??? I am so upset at the prospect of having a terminationbut what can we do?

Answer 1

Give the baby up for adoption would be fair. That child didn't ask to be conceived, but it's not asking to die either, and there are thousands of families out there who do want that child and want to love and raise that child and can afford to do so.

I think abortion would be selfish of you, but giving your child up would be the most wonderful and selfless thing you could do.

Good luck.

Answer 2

you can always find the money for a child somewhere .there are thousands of people who have children and cannt afford then but they have them .it should not be about the money

Answer 3

I understand that you are proud never to have claimed benefits, but would it be worth swallowing your pride and looking at what you can claim?

Answer 4

Do not terminate as you would be MURDERing your own child.  Another choice if you truly decide that you can not raise this child would be adoption.

Let me tell you though that it does not cost a lot more to have three children than it does two.  I have two daughters and a son.  You can use hand me downs from the girls if you have another girl, or you can go to the thrift or consignment stores to buy clothing if it is a boy.  There is no shame in getting a little help buying food through WIC and Foodstamps.  Many people who work hard like you do use them.  

If you knew you could not afford another baby you should have been on birth control or gotten your tubes tied....

Answer 5

If you're upset by having an abortion then don't do it!!  You will regret it. You should only terminate a pregnancy when you do not want a baby.  You'll just have to learn how to stretch every dollar.  And, in ten years, your financial difficulties will likely improve and you'll be sitting around the dining table with your family, thinking, "ah! good thing we kept you!"

Answer 6

you have to do what is right for you and your family.

thre is no way the unborn baby's so-called "right" to life should trump everybody else's right to a life.

adoption is not a good option and my best friend will be the first to tell you that even though she was adopted as a newborn into a silver spoon lifestyle.  she had lifelong problems with her mother as did her adopted brother and she has health issues, as well, from her biomom's irresponsibility while pregnant.

plus, look at the number of children "aging out" of the system right now:  is it fair to them to keep adding cute adorable newborns so nobody will pick the ones that have seniority?

no - you do what is right for you and make the choice you know in your heart is right.  whether it's keep the baby or not, it will be the right choice and you won't have emotionally traumatic regrets.  

forcing yourself to do something to make other ppl happy is what will mess you AND the baby up if you decide to keep it - babies know when they're not wanted.  babies born to unwilling mothers cry more, have higher anxiety levels, are harder to soothe, and have more problems in school and with the law when they get older.

Answer 7

my husband and i just had our 5th baby girl he works i stay at home,where there's a will there is a way,and yes i believe it would be selfish, you are blessed with another little girl or boy,listen to your heart.

Answer 8

If the thought of doing it upsets you then you musn't do it because you will never forgive yourself or your husband and i would be willing to bet the guilt would ruid your marriage.

Nobody can afford children lol (unless they're filthy rich) but you manage don't you.

Don't worry about benefit claiming because all parents need help. After all teh government wants us to have more babies and are willing to subsidise this so don't feel guilty.

You go and have a beautiful baby and don't worry about the money, it will come right in the end. So what if you can't afford the best toys n clothes etc, the baby won't care :)

Answer 9

it depends on the decision of ur hubby and u only....

Answer 10

Honestly, stock up for the baby items while the baby is in the womb. You have nine months to buy diapers,wipes, and etc. You can buy one or two baby items a week and use most of your other children's baby furniture and bigger items. I wouldn't terminate this pregnancy due to money. What if your were to come in to some unexpected cash or something right after when the baby would have been born? You would regret your decision for the rest of your life. If you think that you may need some assistance for a while check with your DSS about what they may offer you. Meanwhile, start gathering items that you and our family no longer need or use and list them on craigslist, ebay, or have a garage sale to place in the baby fund. There are also websites that allow your friends and family to start a pool to guess what the baby's birth date will be, weight and gender and whatever is raised you get half and the winner gets half. There are tons of things that you can be doing for these months while you are waiting. I clip coupons for my daughters diapers and wipes and some times I only pay a alittle over a $1 for the jumbo wipe refill packages that retail for $7 and get a Jumbo pack of diapers for $4.75 after coupons are clipped. It may take watching your nickels and dimes closer and looking for bargains, but it can be done. You can enjoy this time, relax and don't let money consume your every thought!

Answer 11

well if you truly want to keep the child then make a way it is possible as to abort that is not a fair judgment on that child

There is alot of parents that would pay medical assistance and things for the child and adopt it if you just can not due it and then that is right

Then you could go sign up on food stamps medicaid and wic if you have to to keep the child it is not bad to sign up i have never had it but my sisters are on it all and well if you work and pay it in then use it that is what it is for but since you work they is no reason i see why not

now if say you and your husband was laying around not doing work then that is not fair to expect people to care for everythign but since you work hard go sign up and raise the child might just be a little boy this time daddy's little buddy

i don't have no bad feeling for people asking for help when it comes to things like this it is the ones that can work and want and then want the state to support everything for them