Is it fair to assume you're dating exclusively?

Question

My (now) ex boyfriend just decided I was cheating on him because he found out I've gone out with another guy. I've actually dated two guys while dating him...

We never said ANYTHING about dating exclusively. I don't think this is fair.

We've been going out about every other week for five months. We'd also chat online about once a week, sometimes for an hour, more often for ten minutes or so. We DID have s*x a couple of times. But I know d**n well I never told him we were seeing only each other!

Is he being reasonable?!

Answer 1

he probably is he probably took it for a relationship

you don't ask a person if they wanna date exclusively

because you slept with him he proabably took is serious

so

yea it's reasonable

Answer 2

Most people just assume that if you're dating them, they actually mean something to you and they're the only ones you're dating.  They don't assume they're just one of your options that you don't care about.

Answer 3

No Not really.

I think he assumed that you were two were dating since you are calling him your boyfriend...

Answer 4

What is your problem?  You weren't committed to him, you dated other guys, surely your heart wasn't broken.  It sounds more like a case of wounded pride to me.  I guess you would have rather dumped him rather than the other way around.  Your sense of indignation is hilarious.

Answer 5

Funny how call him your ex BOYFRIEND... though as you say you arent dating.  Boyfriend implies exclusivity...otherwise you are just friends...or casually dating.  If you arent intrested in him exclusively then cut the guy loose and let him find someone who wants to date only him.... before you break his heart and lose his friendship.

Answer 6

Women will cheat. That is true. You are a prime example. You are lucky he didn't beat you like a rag doll! Since when does anyone have to say anything about being exclusive? That SHOULD be a given. You are slime!

Answer 7

At some point, you two should have had a conversation about this.  Generally speaking, it's not kosher to be in an on-going sexual relationship with somebody while you're seeing other people.  And I certainly wouldn't throw the term "boyfriend" around if we weren't exclusive.  Typically, if a guy's the only guy I'm seeing, he gets the Boyfriend title, he gets to meet my friends/family, and he gets to see/speak to me more than once every week or two.  If I'm just seeing a guy, our time is typically one-on-one, we hang out or talk only when it happens to be convenient, and I'm very open about the fact that there are other guys.  I don't talk about them -- no names or details -- but if he asks what I'm doing Friday and I have a date, I tell him so.  Then I make plans with him for Saturday instead.  It may seem loose and non-committal (it is so purposely), but THE BEST relationship I've ever had was this way.  I dated a guy for eight months, both of us were seeing other people the whole time, and we never fought, never had jealousy issues, never had any kind of typical relationship problems.  We'd have kept seeing each other much longer if his job hadn't taken him out of state.  We still talk, still get along wonderfully, and I still get warm-fuzzies just thinking about him.  What's even better -- since we never dated exclusively, we never "broke up," so when he's back in town, we still go out.

My advice: Always be as up-front and honest as possible.  Your ex isn't mad that you were dating other people -- he's mad that you blind-sided him with it.  

Answer 8

you do have to be specific when you're doing that kind of stuff.

dating around, sleeping with guys ect...

i guess theres nothing wrong with that if you're happy.

you have to make sure the guy is feeling what you are, make sure you're on the same page. if you guys dated, talking online, had s*x i could see where he thought you guys were going out.

just make sure you're open about what you're looking for with the guy before you go further with him.  

Answer 9

well if he's an ex how is that not exclusive or in "seeing eachother"

wtf?

dont contradict yourself, hussy  

Answer 10

well 5 months is a long time to be dating someone...i would say that this is a miscommunication between the two of you. if i had be seeing a guy for 5 months i would assume that we were a couple but if you guys never declared it official then i can see your point...he probably just has hurt feelings because he thought you liked him more than you did

Answer 11

S lut!!

Answer 12

You say that you never said anything to him about dating exclusively - does that mean that you never said anything to him about NOT being exclusive? After 5 months, you should have talked about your expectations by now, but you really should have let him know LONG before now - for instance, before you even went out with him - that you didn't want to be exclusive with him. So yes, he is being reasonable.

It's perfectly understandable to feel betrayed after going out with someone for 5 months only to find out that she is dating someone else, and he's probably hurt by the fact that you're saying you never SAID that they were exclusive. Obviously, you never said that you weren't, either. If it's not fair for him to assume you're dating exclusively, then it's not fair for you to assume that you aren't.  

Answer 13

Wow if your having s*x then yes he is right your dating HIM not others so you need to say sorry but if you dont want to date just him then yah hes not right

Answer 14

i dont think so idk well tell him stight out that ur not