Is it fair to be grounded just for being honest?

Question

My dad is 46 yrs old & dating a MED student who looks like she should be my sister - seriously - and he made me break up with my boyfriend when he found out he was 21 (I was 16 then, am 17 now) without knowing a single other thing about him, and the age difference between us is a FRACTION of what it is between them. For the past few nights he's stayed out until like 2 in the morning & I have to be at TEN on wknights even though it's SUMMER and we live in NYC where ppl my age are out so much later. He grounded me for 3 weeks for using his credit card w/o permission (only used it bcoz I didn't have a card & the laptop was onsale online & I knew I could pay him back) and he said I was reckless with money but he spends money on stupid, pointless stuff all the time. I've been really upset with him for days & tonight when he got home I just told him the truth - that he's a total hypocrite and that I want to stay w/ my mom for the rest of the summer. And he grounded me for an xtra week!

Answer 1

Sure what you're dad is doing is morally wrong.

He has to enforce these rules though or you might turn out to be a jerk.

You wouldn't know strict till you met my parents, if my dad caught me dating some one 21 years old when I was 16 I would probably still have a wired jaw.

You shouldn't use anyone's credit card without permission it's a felony and you got off pretty easy considering.

I think you're Dad is probably looking for love in the wrong places (or he's just trying to find some err... sexual stability for a while.)

Answer 2

Sorry but you're 17 and you still have to follow your dad's rules and speak to him with respect. And don't forget you used his credit card without permission. If you're not an authorized user on the card you could be arrested for that. If I were your parent you would not have access to a credit card at your age. And you certainly wouldn't be out late at night in New York. I don't necessarily agree with his behavior either but he is the parent. You don't get to dictate how he spends his money or time. He's the adult and you're still a kid.

Answer 3

I think its fair on both sides

Answer 4

i understand that you feel he is being unfair but he is an adult and your dad  you need to respect him. you don't really get to tell him what to do but he gets to tell u what to do because he is your dad and he supports u and everything u know. and i think u were being rude (not purposely i mean i guess u didn't know better)   and he is just being a normal dad   well except for the going out at 2 in the morning thing   btw it sucks u got grounded for "voicing" your opinion   i had the same problem

Answer 5

WTF! Your OVER SIXTEEN! YOU CAN LEAVE!

Answer 6

Your dad is an adult and can date anyone over the age of 18. You were 16 dating a 21 year old, that's illegal and good for your dad for ending it. You can't use someone elses credit card. If you don't have the money, you don't need it. If you handed your dad the money and said can i used your card online, he might agree 'cause you already had the money. Your acting like your 12 just in the question so I can see where he is coming from. He is not being a hypocrite. He is an adult and can take care of himself. You are still a child and needs to be grounded for what you did. The fact that your mad at your dad and want to go to your moms shows it. Your dad will not start treating you like an adult until you start acting like an adult, no matter your age.

Answer 7

You know, it's just tough being 17 and living at home, but the fact is, you were so wrong in so many ways.  

You'll understand this when you get older, but as long as you live under his roof you have to follow his rules.

If I was 16 or 17 and used my moms credit card to buy a laptop I would  have been more than grounded.  C'mon, are you seriously wondering why you are in trouble with him?

I'm sorry, but you need to grow up a bit and accept that you are NOT an adult and should not be treated like one - especially when you are acting so childish.

Answer 8

I'm in the exact same boat as you. I still live at home with mom and have an 11 month old baby and whenever my boyfriend comes over he sleeps in my room (its better than him living with us like he used to.. my mom is all "no s*x or living together before marriage!") She insists that he doesn't but I say I'm an adult and I pay rent so I should be able to do what I want in the privacy of my own bedroom (I'm 20). She's a hypocrite too, she goes over to her boyfriends house every day after work and its obvious they're sleeping together, so how can she possibly try to make ME do whats 'morally right'!!

It WAS out of your bounds to use his credit card without permission. Take the hit for that one.

You know he's being a hypocrite, and you know he's treating you unfairly, but hes all "I'm the Boss you do what I tell you!". The only thing you can do is suck it up and be the Big Guy. Don't bring yourself down to his level. He is your father, after all, and you are living in his house.

As much as I want to tell my mom to shove it and quite being a hypocrite and let me live my life... all I can do is suck it up until I'm out of her house. It's not worth the hassle.

Answer 9

You used his credit card without permission?

Well, I guess he COULD have treated you like an adult. That would have involved you being arrested for theft and getting a criminal record. Be grateful he treated you like the child you are.