Is it good if your kid is a little bit afraid of you?

Question

I don't mean violence, but if you could come off as stern and rigid in certain respects when it comes to getting things done.

Answer 1

You bet!  

Answer 2

Of course it is.

Answer 3

yh i dont think it hurts 2 be firm now and again. if u r firm all the time they just laugh at u or ignore u but if u get that u have had enough and u get a bit firm with them they they no their boundaries and they realise wen they have overstepped the mark  

Answer 4

no and this is why:

choice a is that you have a child who is a little scared of you because you are strict. because of this your child doesnt feel like they can open up to you about everything.

choice b is that you can have your limits but you arent so strict and scary that your child feels like they cant tell you things like crushes at school or homework help.

my parents always were open to anything i wanted to tell them about. they werent strict but i knew what the rules were. for example i wouldnt skip my homework everyday but i wouldnt be scared to ask for help.  

Answer 5

No. Fear and respect should not be synonymous.  

Answer 6

This way of thinking is, in my oppinion, "old school"  Fear is not respect.  If your child respects you and the choices you make for them, they will comply.  If you say something like "Billy get in there and clean up your room or I will spank you till you cant sit"  Is Billy really learning anything other than you are being a bully.  

Your sentence after the question is a little confusing.  How is a child going to understand talking in a stern behavior as being something to fear, unless you follow it up with a punishment of some sort.

The old adage; "You get more flies with honey, than viniger." holds true

Answer 7

In many ways our children are dependent on us. We as parents provide food, water, shelter, basically everything that the child needs. We should not think of ourselves as God. We are still children ourselves and are not PERFECT.

You may agree with the information on this website, however I am not sure that I do. Flexibility is important in  anything we try do right.

Check out this site: http://www.raisinggreatkids.com/about.ht...

Answer 8

Fear....never. Respect....always. There is a huge difference between the two.  

Answer 9

Fear is an excellent teacher but a terrible parent.  

My own opinion is that your child should always look to you for comfort and support.

If a parent understands the difference between punishment and discipline your children will learn to trust you and fear consequences.

Answer 10

I think what you're speaking of is respect for "parental authority".

This is not only good but it is a necessity if you're going to raise a child who will someday become a worthwhile member of society.

Reasonable and consistent guidelines coupled with love and integrity are major factors in effective parenting.

I wish you (and your kid) the very best!

Answer 11

yep

Answer 12

I think so...as long as it's a respect kind of fear, and not a he's-going-to-hurt-me fear. Kids need to have respect for their elders.  

Answer 13

Do you want them to be "afraid" of you or do you want them to "respect" you.

If they are afraid of you (even in the slightest) they will never be able to confide their biggest fears or secrets or problems that they may have.They will not respect you because you are not respecting them.

If they respect what you tell them, then they will feel good enough that they will come to you when things aren't so good with them. They will then think that you respect them.

Kind of like you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

Answer 14

Absolutely...one of the biggest motivators for me when I was younger was the fear of disappointing my parents.  

Answer 15

Yes.  Otherwise you can never discipline your kids.  If they don't fear you (at least a little) you will never get them to do anything they truly don't want to do.  Then they're screwed when the get in the real world and can't hold a job for "some strange reason".

Answer 16

It's good for your kid's future!!!! Most kids are so nasty these dayz and act as if they are orphans!!!

More scared the better!!!!

Answer 17

not realy-fear is not respect.

Answer 18

No I don't think it's necessesary. Fear and respect are two different things and my kids respect me, they don't fear me. I want my kids to be respectful and well behaved because it's the right thing to do, not just for fear of punishment.

I don't steal and it's not because I am afraid of punishment, it's because I have a conscience and want to do the right things in life and be a good person. That's how I was raised.  

Answer 19

there is a difference between fear and respect.  I rather my child listen to me because he or she respects me, not fear me

Answer 20

Everyone is basically saying the same thing and I agree. Fear isn't the same as Respect.

You want your child to RESPECT your position as parent...but you don't want your child to fear you. Now, as a parent you will have to dole out consequences for poor behavior, but these shouldn't be the sort that would make your child fear you. They may not want to be grounded or have their favorite possession taken from them, but that's not the same as fear.

Now, you should certainly be "stern" and "rigid" in some circumstances...but if the child DOESN'T meet your expectation, what happens? What is your response? They should know that there will be consequences, but these should be reasonable.

Kids today don't have enough respect for authority. Respect is good.  

Answer 21

A child should not ever fear their parent...but, be aware that there are  consequences for negative behavior. A parent's job isn't to scare the c**p out of their kid so they walk to the straight and narrow. It is our job to teach them right from wrong, the correct way of handling situations, and to be a good person. I would never want my son to fear me because later in life when he needs someone to turn to, I want that person to be me or his father. Why do you think there are so many kids on here asking misguided questions about s*x and pregnancy? They had no one else to turn to because they feared their parent's reactions. And when it comes to "getting things done"...again, a child is like an empty garden that needs the seeds of knowledge planted and then tended to over the years. You can't expect a child to do something if no one has taken the time to show them how. My child does not fear me. He respects me because I am patient, caring, and understanding. And if sometimes I blow my top, my child is smart enough to remind me that I am over reacting by simply saying, "Mommy, I am just a kid.". Sorry such a long explanation but I am sure you wouldn't want your child to fear coming to you in their time of need simply because you wanted to "get things done" by being too stern or rigid. Kids need to know we are humans too and make mistakes...it's all apart of learning.  

Answer 22

A Little a bit fear..well not exactly. This is better, you would like them to respect you to the point that they don't want to disappoint you and when they do they FEAR the CONSEQUENCE...NOT you

Answer 23

Yeah

Show them who's boss.  

Answer 24

No. It's good if they *respect* you.

Answer 25

No, a child should NEVER be afraid of their parents! Parents are supposed to offer unconditional love and protection to their kids, not be a source of fear.

Being firm and consistent is fine; being frightening is not.

Answer 26

this is super good !

if your kid is totally not afraid of u than they will bully u and grow up to be horrible brat that hit their parents.

as long as they are not terribly scare of u, a little afraid is healthy.

with a stern dad like u, i am sure u got great kids.  

Answer 27

NO it isn't good, what you need for your kids to be are respectful not afraid, it will just lead to many problems down the road.