Is it haraam? Muslim sisters, only please?

Question

I know this might sound like an awkward question, but is it haraam to talk to your friends about your crush? Again, I know it might sound weird, but I really want to know. Thanks to all of my dear muslim sisters.

=)

Answer 1

Well to be honest sister, when one talks about something, it is so much easier to act upon it. Those feelings become a reality, and you just feel so much more confident about those things and your motives might change. You may have planned on having nothing to do with him for the time being, maybe marry him later if you seriously like him, but really I wouldn't talk about something like this. I know sometimes it can't be helped, but really, you wouldn't have a crush if you lowered your gaze and kept your thoughts on Allah swt and carrying out good deeds. If you are too busy, then you have no time to think about the guy, simple as that! I sometimes  see someone who I find attractive but I do my best to immediately think of Allah swt and keep myself away from thinking about him at all. Having a crush could bring desires/thoughts, maybe even actions, and not talking about it I believe is just a protection that one should follow. Allah swt guides us to protect us, and I think that if one lowers their gaze, this problem wouldn't have arisen in the first place. So the only situation where I believe you can talk about a crush is if you wish to marry him. But what confuses me is if you found someone you like yourself, obviously you didn't have your gaze lowered if you were looking at him...that always confuses me, I guess the only halal way is to hear about someone through family/friends. okay well peace sister, I hope this answers your question a little bit!

Answer 2

In reality you shouldn't talk about your "crush" or your husband to any woman, because she might tell her husband or her girlfriends what your "crush" or husband looks like, and that would be haraam. So it's best to keep quiet and not speak about a man you are not married to especially if you have non Muslim friends.

Answer 3

you cannot control your feelings, i dont think its haram, but the consenquences that might happen can be haram, like maybe your friends saying something to your crush, etc. and what may lead to that.

Answer 4

water lily is quite correct. sister while it may not be a sin persay i wouldn't go advertising it to the world since in islaam there is no dating. it's sad when muslims don't know their deen and want to be like the non believers. please make dua and ask for forgiveness as this may lead to zina. if you are able to get married why don't you ask your father to arrange a sit down for you so that you can see if you'd like to marry this guy( i sure hope he's at least muslim and not kufar,which would make this situation truly sad) and see if he's interested in you at all. most importantly FEAR Allah  and keep your modesty.

Answer 5

of course its alright sister ! i mean its not a sin or something !! i know u said nothing about dating and maybe thats what the other negative answers meant which is haram !

but talking to a friend is fine :o)

Answer 6

Honey, it is ok to have a crush..... it's ok to talk about it, but further than that, it's a no no!

But nothing wrong to have one, we all go through that!

Answer 7

Having a crush in the first place might lead to inappropriate situations, but I understand it's hard to control this kind of thing. I would suggest keeping your feelings to yourself--even if the guy is a Muslim. Your friends might tell someone, etc, etc. But I also think it would be kind of awkward, you know, discussing the guy.

e.g. "Oh, he's SO HOT!" (Okay, I know that was an exaggeration)

I'm sure you know dating is haraam, right?

Answer 8

No no no it's not at all haram dear..

Answer 9

hunnie as long as your not speaking of him sexually then your fine.

anything you say about him that you feel crosses the line in islam, then you should stop.

goodluck hun

Answer 10

idk

Answer 11

“to *check* a guy out without any valid reason”  PLEASSSSE~!

Being human IS a valid reason.

What you are doing perfectly normal and natural. There is noting wrong with it, nothing to be ashamed of and it does not make you bad. If you were a man it would be just fine, but a man wouldn’t bother asking the question in the first place.

Answer 12

It's not haraam- just don't act upon it! Salaam!

Answer 13

Even though this question is for the Sisters, I see that most of the people here have answered the question giving you destructive advice.

Sufyaan ath-Thawree said as is reported in Sharaf as-haabul Hadeeth:

إنما الدين بالآثار وليس بالرأي

((Indeed the religion is in the Narrations and not in the opinions))

As for your question, then Fear Allaah and do not expose your sins to the people.

Allaah says:

وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ

((And tell the believing women to lower their gaze ))

(Surah Noor from verse 31)

So by looking at the men, are you lowering your gaze and protecting yourself from the Fitnah? No sister you are not doing so.

So avoid the likes of these matters. Lest you are asking about him for the purpose of marriage there is no benefit in your talking to your friends about this person.

Answer 14

not haram

Answer 15

There is nothing in the Qur'an which would object to this.

Answer 16

well it depends... do u want to know from "muslims"... or do u want to know from "islaam"?

one of the rules in Islaam is when a thing can lead to haraam, it is haraam.

so to *check* a guy out without any valid reason is very dis-tasteful.  And to openly share it sure can't b a good thing.  but if you *have to* deal with a guy and feel attracted, then take refuge with Allah from the cursed shaitaan, and keep quiet. [keep a note that free mixing is not allowed in Islaam for a reason!!!]

And tell the believing women to *lower their gaze* (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of s*x. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (An-Nur 24:31)

I know for some people it's hard to accept due to their surrounding, lack of knowledge on Islaam, or strong faith... but it is important to know about Islaam and accept, and then try to practice it, and not deny.

I hope that answers you?

Answer 17

I agree with freedom fighter.

Answer 18

If you really need an answer as a Muslim so I'd say that first of all having a Crush sort of thing is haram(the sort that you need to call it awkward for)........you need to be engaged at least.

and there is no obligation in talking to your friends about anything if its not the case that Eva mentioned.

Answer 19

I think it's fine as long as you don't talk inappropriately about them. :-)

Answer 20

im not sure, since everyone goes through the same thing. but please be careful because you know how the muslim community is small and everyone talks. andd its worse when there are envious ppl around who like that person too. just be careful love!!!

Answer 21

No thats fine. One of my Muslim sisters is ALWAYS talking to me about her crush so go for it :)