Is it haram to get married without telling your family?

Question

If you are a man? And then just tell them later?

Answer 1

I heard that a marriage is not considered a marriage unless the community accepts it. So of course your family is the most important community of all.  

Answer 2

i think so cuz ur family have to know...no secrets =]

Answer 3

yes i think it is haram cuz your parents have the right to know who that person is going to be and weather he can really make you happy or not and weather he is playing u or not so ya they have the right to know

Answer 4

No its not haram, but its HIGHLY HIGHLY recommended!! When you marry you are supposed to tell everyone about it.. thats what a wedding is. Hiding it is like you are doing something wrong.. when marriage is a good thing. It is highly recommended to widely publicize your wedding!

There is also a VERY strong sunnah of having a wedding feast [another means of publicizing].

Why wouldn't he tell his family anyhow? Bad sign.

Answer 5

Assalamu Alaikum,

It would be haram for a female if she marrys firt time secretly with some one without the presence of her Wali - when her parents, uncles and brothes are alive.

I seriously doubt that it is haram for a man.  Very often in Pakistani culture  parents never allow their son to marry a widow  even if she is very young and her husband died not too long after her marriage and she doesn't even have any child.  Pakistani parents still have too much influence of Hindu culture in their minds.  Hinduism still do not allow any one to marry a widow no matter how young she is.  They force her to wear plain white clothes as a symbol that she is widow. She is not allowed to wear make up either.  Most parents in Pakistan have this kind of mentality and rarely allow their sons to marry a widow.  They often think a young widow has jinks and because of her, their son may also die.  This is very bad superstition.

Under such situation if a young man falls in love or wants to do a good deed by giving a young widow  a life,  he has no choice but to marry her secretly.  A friend of mine married a widow with one child in  late fiftes.  When he brought his wife to home, his father asked who is this woman, he said this is my wife.  I have married her without letting you know because I know you will never permit me.  Then his father

kicked both son and his wife out of his home on the spot.  He was never allowed to enter in father's home until father was alive. After his death his mother and brothers  brought him home with his wife.  My friend personally told me this story in 1961.

Answer 6

Not harram!! but a wali is required, In Islam you can get married as you reached to puberty, but you still need your guidance & a Wali!!

Answer 7

It depends on the school of thought. Even the most liberal considers it highly discouraged. While the marriage *MAY* be valid, for the sake of the legality & honor you should inform your family. For females it's even more crucial as the consent of her guardian is HIGHLY encouraged and (according to most scholars except Abu Hanifa) even wajib.

So, yes, I believe the marriage is considered "valid" if you're a male & possibly even a female, but it is not the most desirable option. It's better to at least tell your family, even if they don't agree with your selection of spouse!

Salams.

Answer 8

Not at all if they knows wtih who gonna marry and if they accept him. But chosen way is do it with their knowlage

Answer 9

It is a kind of fornication i.e. Adultery. A marriage should be announced thats why Muslim man is supposed to give Walimah.

Answer 10

Salam for you my dear friend .No it is not haram if a muslim man get married to a woman without telling his own family because the marriage is valid by attending of bride and bride groom,obtaining approval from the father or grandfather or brother of the bride,giving mahr to the bride,syahadat,ijab kabul and certain witnesses.

But by the way it is better if their mariage be witnessed by the both side big families.although he can just tell his family and relatives later on.Marriage is sacral and the intention of marriage for the first and the last in life in line with Muhammad pbuh's suggestion.By married it means that we follow Muhammad pbuh and it means we fill up one half of our iman (faith) and marriage is included in good doings (ibadah)

Answer 11

I would tell u every word what Rujhcat told u...follow his words..he speaks the Truth

Answer 12

yes it is, you'll need their blessings too isnt itt..

Answer 13

I dont know whether it is haram or not haram but im definitely sure that the parents of the grown up child will surely get hurt..so hurting them is haram :)

Answer 14

Sorry , But isn't this a "DUH" yes it is haram?

Answer 15

its a big time haram because, in islam everything is out in the open and if you get married in the low low in islam its not a valid marriage.  

Answer 16

you need witnesses, and you need consent from both sides of the family. dont you want to get marriage done the right way anyways? Your parents, if well educated in islam, will always approve the choice that's right for you, even if they feel inclined for you to marry someone else. As long as your parents can recognize your suitor as a good honest, hardworking muslim that will support you, you should have no fear about telling them, no matter how young you are. Im 16 yr old guy and i really want to get married, i really cant stand preserving myself till i become a 30 yr old doctor or engineer, but i dont have the guts to tell my parents yet. :S however, my parents have hinted that they'll let me marry after i finish bachelors, meaning ill be 20/21.. 4 more years of trying to keep my hands from going down em pants at night....

Answer 17

Yes it is because in Islam they don't like you thinking for yourself.