Is it hard being a marine's girlfriend?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and i've seen or talked to him everyday for the last year. We are very much in love and we are starting to look towards the future. My boyfriend use to be a marine and then was discharged about 2 years ago, since then he has been in construction and he's starting to hate it...As a result he wants to go back to the military (marine's). I'm scared as h**l because he's going to be away and i'm not use to that, also it worries me that he will probably be sent overseas to war. I dont want to talk him out of it, even though i have been doing that, because later on in life he might hate me if he realizes it was a mistake not to go...i need help to understand his decision and it would help if i knew what to expect...i love him so much and i dont want him to go but he loved it when he was in. I don't know what to do, i'm confused and hurt at the same time because he's going to leave me and war is scary just to think about...will it get any easier? someone help me please

Answer 1

there is a saying, "once a marine always a marine". my husband was a marine. well he was in the army, then the marines, now he is national guard. he loves the military and can't seem to be happy with any other job. its just part of them. yes, its hard. its especially hard not knowing if they will come back or not. on the bright side though, if he goes back into the marine corps and you guys end up getting married you will most likely be living on base somewhere. i guess marines do that. (i wasnt with my husband then) anyway, if that happens you will have all the military wives there to support you. my husband being in the national guard gets sent overseas like everyone else but we dont have a base or anything and there is no support for us. its very hard when you have no one to talk to about your worries and concerns. but honey, once they get there the first time it becomes a part of them, its who he is and you shouldnt talk him out of it. you should be supportive because he is willing to give everything to make sure your home and freedom is safe. be supportive and be open minded that everything will be ok.

Answer 2

The question you asked was..."Is it hard being a girlfriend to a guy in the Marines?"  I think it's hardier being a girlfriend than being a wife.  As a girlfriend you have no rights.  They don't have to tell you anything regarding your boyfriend.  So you tend to feel left out of the loop when things come up.  As a girlfriend you know that you love him just as deeply as say a military wife to a military husband...but, often times you feel disconnected...because you aren't "the wife".

If he decides to go back in...it is important that he continues to communicate to you when possible.  Not just the I love you's, but share as much information he is allowed to share.

It's not going to be easy.  As a girlfriend or as a wife...it's hard being with out your SO...but, you can do it.  Many have done it.  Support his decision.  While he is gone, try to stay focused and stay busy.  What helps me:

1.  Write letters and send cards.  That not only helps you...but helps keep his morale up.

2.  DO NOT BECOME "FRIENDS" TO A BUNCH OF MEN!!!!

3.  There are on-line support groups...joining one could help you through the times when he is away.  Yahoo has one.  You may even be able to find one off line, just make sure it's not with a bunch of woman who sleep around or are gossiping all the time.

4.  Send care packages.

5.  Stay busy.  Take classes, volunteer, etc.

You'll be fine.  Chin up....

EDITTED:  Don't believe the hype.  Militray men are not especially known for being the most honest dudes when it comes to sleeping around.  The Navy has a saying, "There is p*ssy at ever port."  There are more stories than not about military (all branches) who sleep around...and I have met many who cheat...both the military guy and the wife.

Some men cheat...period.  Military men are no different, and if they weren't honorable before going in...the military doesn't necessarily make them more honorable...in fact it can make them worst...because women are ready to jump on military men or men in uniform with no hesitation.  

I don't say all this to scare you.  I just want you to be prepared for everything.   Don't let the love you have for your guy, blind you...learn about everything.  Trust me...the information is out there.  I have not had to face it myself (thank God), but you better believe I don't turn blind eye to the fact that if could happen....  No matter how much I trust my husband.

And they aren't any more loving to their wives either.  If that were the case, we wouldn't open up the paper on a regular basis and find wives of military men who have gone missing only to find that the sailor or soldier had something to do with their disapperance.

Answer 3

I haven't been an Army wife for very long (4 years in November), and I have had to say goodbye to my husband for two of his three tours in Iraq.  I'm not gonna lie, it can be very very difficult, and it's definitly not for everyone.  My choices are to either stay with him, and hang on because my love for him is more important than anything, or to divorce him because it is something that I am not able to deal with anymore.  I choose to stay and hang on because I DO love him that much and I feel as though I can keep on handling whatever comes our way.  Ask me again in 5 years, and I may feel differently, but for now, that's where I stand.  As hard as it can be, it also has its good sides, I don't think our marriage would be as strong at this point had he never been deployed.  I also don't think I would be the type of woman and mother I am today without having to endure the hardships and difficulties we have faced thus far.  I can't express to you how proud I am of him and how lucky I feel to be his wife and share this life with him.  It's worth it to me, and you may find that it will be to you.  Give it a shot, but also be sure to let him know how you feel.  As much as we want them to be, men are NOT mind readers, nor are they as intuitive as us (sorry fellas!), so he needs to hear how you truly feel.  Yes, its scary, yes it can really suck, but in the end, I wouldn't change my life for the world.

Good luck in whatever you decide, and remember, at this point in your life, you need to do whatever you think is best for yourself.  

Answer 4

I've been with my Marine for about 8 months. He is no longer in the service but always talks about it. He was also discharged about 2 years ago but wishes to re-enlist. He got into construction after words as well lol. I'm beggining to think we have the same boyfriend. Lol. He doesn't talk about what happened over seas but it is understandable. I can see how it could be difficult if he left again but if hes in love with or at the very least loves you I think you will be just fine. Military men seem to be very loyal and loving to their women.