Is it hard to cope after an abortion?

Question

I am 24 years old and single. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple weeks ago. This weekend I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. Neither one of us have children already. He wants to keep the baby but I am not ready for this. I know children are a blessing but the timing is not right. I am seriously considering abortion but I am concerned if I can handle this emotionally also I wonder about my fertility afterwards. Is there anyone out there who can tell me how hard it to deal with the aftermath of a abortion?

Answer 1

Well if your not ready then give it up for adoption. I honestly think if he wants it sign the rights over to him. Dont kill your baby!! u will regret it I promise. Honestly its very hard I had abortion and I regret it every day :( its been hard knowing I killed my own child. I wish I had made another choice so, seriously rethink this!  

Answer 2

I honestly think it affects people differently. It depends on how you view abortion and how you feel about having children. I had one right after I turned 16 and it was the hardest thing I think I have ever done in my life. I was young and irresponsible and could not take care of a baby. Plus I was in a very unhealthy relationship. I really wanted it but I was very unhealthy physically at the time and there was a good chance I would not be able to carry it to term. I still think about it all the time and it is something I will never forget. I still don't agree with abortion but at the same time I can't be a hipocrit. Every year on what would have been my due date I think about how old it would be and whether or not I would have a son or daughter. I went on anti-depressants for about 2 years and it took me about 3 years before I could even talk to anyone about it.  I can honestly say now I could never do it again. No matter the circumstances. I am not trying to talk you out of it because if you think it is the best thing for you, it probably is in the long run. But if you are already having doubts about what you will feel like afterwards it will probably cause you alot of heartache. Also, abortion can effect people's fertility differently. Like I said, I had one (about 6 1/2 yrs ago) and I am currently pregnant with twins. But I know of other girls that are having a hard time conceiving.  So, no matter what you decide I wish you the best. Good luck.

Answer 3

At 5 weeks, your baby's heart begins to beat.  It has a distinct head and shape.  If you can deal with terminating a human life, go for it.  

If you're questioning it, you shouldn't do it.  Deep down, you know it's wrong.  If you're not ready for a baby, consider adoption instead.  

Abortion also can have a negative effect on your reproductive system, which may prevent you from having another child.  

Think long and hard...  

Answer 4

Going through an abortion is a terrible experience. You might be relieved immediately following however, you will be an emotional mess. Maybe, you should think about it a little more and go through the pros and cons. You are 24 years old, an adult so if you are old enough to take on the responsibility to have s*x you should be prepared for a child. I know accidents happen, but how is that your baby's fault? And how do you think you have the right to "get rid" of something that is just as much your boyfriends as it is yours. If anything, I would consider adoption. There are so many people out there who can't have children. You should consider yourself lucky you can conceive. Also, even though you say the timing isn't right, no matter what everything always falls into place. Good luck!

Answer 5

Fist things first....you only have about 4 or 5 weeks left to go through with this, if you decide.  My family and friends personal experience is not so good.  My friend wakes up in the middle of the night, 5 years later, with nightmares and cold sweats.  The thing is that you obviously know what you are going to be doing.  I would think about family memebers or close friends who can not have children and would adopt from you.  Can you try open adoption so the child and you can still have a relationship, but you dont have to care for the child.  Its just something to think about.  Everyone handles this situation differently.  

Answer 6

Someone very close to me has had 3 abortions, and it makes me sick.  She feels as if she has done nothing wrong, and I dont understand how she can sleep at night after all of it.  On the other hand, I know some that have been in Choices at the Med center for years because they are considering suicide.  Now Im only 18, and Im pregnant, but the timing isnt right for me either.  Dont you think its about time you grow up?  If the timing isnt right, why are you having s*x?

Answer 7

Be prepared for some criticism on this one!!

I have been there done that a couple times and it all depends on your reasoning for doing it. It was something i HAD to do and i went in nervous and made sure they completely sedated me so i wouldn't remember the process (some stay awake and i wouldn't recommend that). I thought i would be devistated afterwards and honestly it wasn't that bad (i hope that doesn't sound horrible) but although i was sad and down the first couple days thinking and arguing with myself if it was the right thing to do, i moved on quickly. The earlier the better i think, but be sure this is something you know you can do and handle, if you have doubts then you shouldn't go through with it. Don't worry about your fertility, i am now on my 3rd child, there's very little if any effect unless something goes wrong and that's unlikely. But if you do it and know you're not ready for a child, do yourself a favor and get on birth control or get the Mirena and have the next guy use protection.  Good Luck

Answer 8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdOCwd9Et...

Answer 9

If he wants the baby and you dont, why dont you have the baby and let him raise it. It's alot better then abortion. If you are afriad right now that its going to affect you emotionally then more then likely it will be a big emotional thing for you to handle. So the best way to do it is tell him if he wants it he can raise it when its born cuz you are just not ready yet for the responsibilities.

Answer 10

i understand how that must feel. i'm just a few years older than you and i have two beautiful little girls, and i still live a pretty good life. i'm not rich at all, but i still travel, i'm finding more fulfilling means of work, and i am experiencing life through their little eyes and it's amazing. however, looking up info for a friend, the following website, brought me to tears and i try to post it on every 'abortion' blog or forum that i can.

www.mttu.com/abort-pics



(before clicking on this link, please take a deep breath. this is what your aborted **fetus** {baby} will look like after your procedure. if you have a weak stomach, please do not look at these photos. keep in mind that at 18 to 21 days after conception your babies heart has already started to beat and will not cease beating until it's death...)

if you can look at these pictures while imagining a tiny baby face that kind of looks like you, without crying or getting angry, then abortion is probably the option for you. if you can live the rest of your life knowing that every May, your baby would have had a birthday,...then go for it.

however, be prepared for the backlash. if you weren't ready for pregnancy, there are options to keep you from getting pregnant. abortion should never be used as a form of birth control. it seems like a disregard for life. this child is already conceived. they don't give babies pain/sleep med's before euthinizing them, and the abortion procedures are grotesque.

-hbb

Answer 11

Many girls after an abortion fall into this "downward spiral" they get very depressed and regret it deeply. Some even kill themselves.

I've seen some leave the clinic screaming.

It is also very unhealthy for the women.

All life is valuable, this baby could have been you.

Answer 12

it all depends on how you feel or how strong you are. i know girls who have had one and didnt regret it. i have had one when i was 18 due to bad circumstances. i dealt with it ok until i found out i was preggo. i thought i was going to be punished for what i did and i would cry sometimes. but i ask for forgivness and i know i will be forgiven. also on fertility issues it depends if your abortion was performed correctly. if needed they have counselors there that ask you a million questions to make sure you are ok with the procedures. im pro choice as long as its not used as birth control. just make sure to that if u and ur x do reconsile he wont throw it in your face if u choose to tell him about it. i know im going to get thumbs down but im giving u a diffrent opinion.  

Answer 13

I would think that taking a child's life would be very difficult to deal with. You won't be able to "deal with it" and then just move on with your life. You will forever have the anniversary of that fateful day. Please consider raising the baby or adoption. If your ex-boyfriend wants the baby and you don't, you can always give custody to your ex boyfriend and give up parental rights. Why would you have to terminate this baby's life when this baby has someone who is willing to care for him/her? Please give this baby a chance. God blessed you with a baby, please don't take it into your owns hands to terminate something you have been blessed with.

Answer 14

From the way you are talking, you seem to be weighing your options considerably, therefore you probably have a good head on your shoulders.

You also probably have a conscience... If you are worried about the repercussions, then in my opinion you will probably experience some type of regret or trauma. I think it would only be normal.

Consider the fact that you might also never have another chance to have a baby.

My aunt had an abortion when she was 18. She is now 40, married for 15 years and was never able to get pregnant again. If anyone in the world should have been a mom it was her.

Sometimes it can seem scary at first but once you feel that baby move inside of you, I'm sure you will forever be thankful for the wonderful blessing you have had the luck to experience.

Should you not keep it, this in no way makes you a bad person either. In certain situations, eventhough I find it hard to say, aborting is the best option.

But also consider adoption, or letting your boyfriend raise it if he wants to.

Good luck!

Answer 15

I had a miscarriage and it was the worst thing ever. I couldn't see myself intentionally killing the child. And you have a man who wants to be there for the baby. You should keep the baby. The below websites should help you out

http://pregnancystories.net/single_moms/

http://pregnancystories.net/pregnancy_lo...

http://www.optionline.org/

Answer 16

Oh wow.

Abortion is wrong, imo.

But i have ( well had ) an Auntie who had an abortion.

she fell into deep depression afterwards

and she hung her self.

Its so sad.