Is it illegal to let your 16 year old move 1000 miles away?

Question

I'm having a hard time accepting that this is okay and normal. I almost feel that it is child neglect. I should also point out that he pointed it that it will only cost them $200 a month for her to live there. So what!!! I don't think it's about the money because they live in a big beautiful home. I just think it's his stupid way of justifying it tom himself.

Here's my original question:

Would you let your 16 year old daughter move 1000 miles away to live with her boyfriend?

So I'm not asking for myself. I don't have any children. I'm asking because one of my co-workers is going to let his only child, his 16 year old daughter, move 1000 miles away because she wants to be with her boyfriend. She is going from a home with two parents who love her very much to a home with a single parent (not that there's anything wrong with that). I should say that they have talked negatively about the family she is going to live with. The parent has a bad drinking problem. More worrisome to me is the fact that they are going to let her live with her 16 year old boyfriend! One thousand miles away! I keep asking myself - who is the parent here? They don't want to push her away by not letting her move there. Hello - how are you not pushing her away? You are sending her to live with someone 1000 miles away from you. You think that isn't going to push her away??? Supposedly she is unhappy here without him. What teenager isn't? So does anyone else think it's crazy or is it just me???? Has anyone else let their kid move 1000 miles away? And been happy with the decision? I can honestly say I've never heard of anyone doing this before.

Answer 1

i dont think its illeagal but...

I wouldnt let my child do it. kids do not have the reasoning abililty that adults do. that part of their brain is the last to develop around 18 yrs old. if she tries to go anyway i would go get her and bring her home. you are her parents and it is your responsibility to keep her safe and provide for her until she graduates high school. she will be fine without him. it doesent mater if she gets angry with you, your role is to parent her not to befriend her. maybe you should consider counseling for her.

Answer 2

If I were you I would contact the appropriate authorities and explain the situation. It is neglect and as far as I'm concerned it's abuse also. They don't know if the boyfriend could turn abusive and hit her or hurt her in anyway. It's child endangerment and you may be the only person that can stop it.

Answer 3

Is it illegal?  Not if they fill out the right paperwork, like making the boyfriend's parent her guardian while she is 1000 miles away.

But honestly reading your question made a lot of alarms go off in my head.  She is 16 years old, and I doubt that her and this guy are going to stay together long term.  How did she find him when he was 1000 miles away anyway?  I swear if the answer is "myspace" her parents better destroy the computer and lock her in her room.  Either way, this relationship probably won't work out, so she needs to stay here.

Her parents need to be very firm with her and tell her plainly "no," because they are worried about her getting into a bad situation.  Then they can ask her what she will do if the boyfriend breaks up with her and/or kicks her out.  She's going to pitch a fit, but seriously, she will thank them in the long run.

As for running away, the parents should just lock up any and all money they have.  My neighbor's son ran away once and took all of her credit cards.  Unfortunately, stupid boy forgot that they can trace the credit cards, and they found him in 2 days...across the country.  Stupid boy hopped a plane for California.

The parents need to stay firm and NOT LET HER GO.  She is still growing and still learning, and she is not a legal adult yet, nor does she have any footing for emancipation.  They need to act like parents and tell her plainly "no."

Answer 4

Maybe they would rather let her go and know where she is rather than the possibility of her running away and not know where she is.

Answer 5

he shouldn't let her go i mean why can't he move in with them if they feel the need to be with each other that much, but honestly it is crazy and dangerouse because they have no idea what their daughter is doing so they should try to keep her and make other suggestions if they don't want to lose their daughter

Answer 6

HI,

I wouldn't allow my daughter or my son to do this.  No way..I'm their mother and I would be worried sick. Could they maybe allow the "boyfriend" to move down here with her? I wouldn't like that either probably but I'd feel safer that way with the kids under my roof.  Note the word "kids." I sure hope this works out for the best.

Eileen

Mother of2

Answer 7

Thats exactly what im goign threw with my mother, and she wont let me im almost at teh point to runnign away.

Answer 8

This is one of the worst cases of not giving a sh*t about your kid I've heard in a long time. Those parents should be tarred and feathered.

It is your job to raise your child till 18, not let her s***w her bf in his parent's home.

He's effectively allowing her to be a w***e. In a dangerous home no less. WTF WTF WTF!!!

Shacking up with a boyfriend at 16, with blessings from your parents. WOW. She won't have any issues later on, huh.

Answer 9

This is a bit much.  She can always come home.  Maybe that is what they count on.  

"unhappy" without him...my Lord.  Why don't they just have get married...oh they can't _he_ isn't old enough.  

Obviously there is no parent there.  

I have heard of parents allowing kids to stay where they were in HS school when the family had to move out of state because the child would run back if he were relocated.  But for a boyfriend?  

That is nuts.  It is also their child.  

Answer 10

whao,  what an irresponsible parent!!! i'm 18 yrs old and i wanted to move w/ my bf to nyc, and my mom disagrees and still wont let me ago, and im a legall adult now!!! i cant believe that he is letting her go!!