Is it illegal to withhold personal information from your adopted child?

Question

im 22 and my adopted parents wont give me acess to any of my adoption information that they have in their posession. i was not told of my hereditary blood traits and now i may pass them onto my child. i also need this to get married. could i take them to court for this?

Answer 1

You do not need any adption information to get married....  You can take anyone to court, but you will not win this one

Answer 2

You should have the right to this information. Since adoptions are court proceedings which are sealed due to the (your) child's age, and you are now a legal adult, you should be able to go to the court house (maybe with a lawyer) and get the records unsealed so you can see them, get copies, etc. I made my mother let me see my court paperwork, mostly through persistance, but I was 13 when I was adopted, so I remember. Good Luck

Answer 3

yea i think you have the right to see all those information about you but im pretty sure you dont need it to get married..

Answer 4

NO

Answer 5

Oh, I'm sorry you are going through this.  Are they doing this to try to stop the marriage?  Not that that's okay, I just can't imagine why they would withhold this information from their adult child.  As far as the birth certificate, there are others who don't have those documents and get married, so find out if there's something else acceptable.  For instance, my husband is an immigrant from Vietnam and he didn't have a birth certificate.  (They used his Citizenship paper.) So, there's probably something else they would accept.

Answer 6

You need to think about it this way, they may have a good reason for witholding this information.  Are you truly ready for the answers, even if they are painful?  Your parents may be trying to protect you.  Maybe they are afraid for you.  Would you be hurt to find out you had been addicted to crack, or that your birthmother prostituted, or that your birthfather was in prison?  What if you were conceived through rape?  

Or, what if a distant relative is your birthmother, or your birthmother is your favorite Aunt, who abused you when you were a baby?  I am in no way saying any of this is the case, but you must think about why they are holding onto this information.  Perhaps it is naitivity -- or bad advice, or intense fear, or even selfishness.   But if you approach them in anger, they will likely feel so very threatened.  You need to realize that, yes, you certainly have a right to this information.  No question.  But they have, for whatever reason, decided long ago that this is the way they would handle your adoption.  Let them know you respect that, love them, but sincerely want this information, no matter what, and that it will give you peace of mind.  And that you will still always love them, no matter what you find out.

Good luck!

Answer 7

It's not illegal, though it's highly unethical in my opinion. You should have access to whatever information they have.

As for a birth certificate, adoptees are issued new amended ones when the adoption is finalized, with the adoptive parents names on it. You do NOT need your original, pre-adoption birth certificate to get married, just the one they were issued after they adopted you (the same one you would have used to register for school, get a driver's license etc.) You can get a copy of your amended birth certificate from your state of birth which will be the state that reissues.

The original birth cert is considered null and void and usually sealed. This is, again in my opinion, highly unethical and an outdated practice that should be abolished. Currently it is what it is.

Answer 8

Even though you should be allowed information for medical and genetic reasons (they should not have to tell you who they are to do this - consult your local adoption acency for your rights with this info. Unless you are trying to determine that you are not of blood relation to the person you plan to marry, I do not see why you would need this for that reason.

Good luck. I know, it is unfair to you.

Answer 9

you are entitled to your present birth certificate or at least the name of the state you were born or adopted in so you can get your own copy. Legally I don't know what else you'd be entitled to. But if you radoptive parents care then they would be willing to give any info they have if you want it.

Answer 10

It's there choice and there isn't anything you can do about it but it is sad that your adopted parents won't tell you that information i mean your 22 years old, an adult who's old enough to know that stuff.

Answer 11

I think you have the right to know your information

Answer 12

It could be possible that your adoptive parents might not have all the info you think they might have. Have you yourself tried to gain information on your own as you are of legal age from the adoption agency. You can also check with your local registras office as see what they have on file. You mention about your blood traits , well in most states they are closed records but you can petition the court and see if they will reopen them if you have a legal medical reason.Have you sat down with them and asked them to be open with you and share what they do know. As far as I know it is not illegal for adoptive parents to withold information. I myself am an adoptive Mom and I myself have shared all the info that we have obtained and in fact currently am helping my daughter find her biological family as I think it is important to know your background. I wish you much luck.

Answer 13

It's not illegal, I don't think...but I don't think it's right either for crying out loud!

I think you could probably get a mediator or someone in the legal system involved to get these records.

My guess is that your parents are insecure and afraid you'll forsake them if you find out who your "real" parents are (I use that term VERY tongue in cheek just to show what their possible mindset might be).

It could also be that there is something about your birth family or the circumstances surrounding your conception that they're afraid you'll have difficulty dealing with.  My thoughts here are that you're 22 and you're old enough to know even if there's something difficult in there.

Seek out a lawyer or mediator to see what you can do.  I think, no matter the reason, your adoptive parents aren't doing the right thing in keeping it from you.

Answer 14

Unfortunately, adopted people have little to no rights over their own legal documents.

Check BastardNation's website to find links to the laws in your state.

http://www.b******s.org/

Answer 15

consult a family lawyer in yr state;  something is very wrong here.  I think you have been lied to all yr life and maybe you are not adopted at all

Answer 16

No, it is not illegal.

All you need in order to get married is your birth certificate, which you can obtain at your local Department of Vital Records (which may be called something else where you live, but the Health Department would be a good place to start).  It will not be your original birth certificate, it will be one that lists your adoptive parents on it.  Actually, I do not think that is even needed in most cases if you have a valid identification such as a driver's license.  The laws may be different where you live, though.

Most adoptees do not know much about the health history of their biological family, but if they have it in their possession it would be good information for you to have.  Perhaps you should sit them down and inquire as to why they will not let you have this information?  You could send them a formal request (notarized and sent via certified mail) and/or consult a lawyer, but it is not illegal.

I hope you get it all worked out.

Answer 17

It is not illegal for them to withhold this info but it certainly will not strengthen any family bond that you have with them.  How did you approach them with the request?  This can be a very sensitive subject for adoptive parents especially if they are insecure.  

If you live with or near them, I would recommend asking if you can talk to them about your adoption.  It now is unfortunately your responsibility to make them feel at ease with you requesting this info.  You need to tell them that it is difficult for you to ask them because you don't want to hurt them but you are curious as any other person is regarding their heritage and want to make sure that you have access to pertinent medical information.  Adoption.com has a great section regarding searching, reasons for searching,   Also, here is a link to Tina's adoption site that has a letter written to adoption parents.

http://www.geocities.com/tmusso.geo/mom_...

Depending on what state you are in, you may not need to get any info from your parents.  Use this link to see what you states laws are regarding access to your records.  Unless yours was an open adoption they will not have any more info than you can request yourself.

http://local.reunion.adoption.com/

I am a 41 year old adoptee and still find it difficult to talk with my parents about this.  Mine was an arranged adoption and they met my birth mother.  I found my birth mother last year without any help from them other than my orig. birth cert. and have spoken to her on the phone.  I now need to speak with my parents when they visit next week regarding info on my birth father which I found out they have and never told me.  I am not looking forward to this conversation but know it is my right to have this info and they are the ones who have it.

Good luck and feel free to e-mail me if you have any additional questions regarding your records.

You can get a copy of your amended birth certificate at the vital records office of the county that your adoption was finalized in.  Your parents can not keep this info from you.