Is it inappropriate to invite ONLY the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner?

Question

My fiance and I had only planned on inviting the attendants (including flower girl and ring bearer, both have a parent also in the wedding), our parents, and our officiant to the dinner. Is it appropriate to not invite their spouses? What about if some of them are from out of town?

We want the ceremony to be somewhat of a surprise for our guests and would prefer to keep the rehearsal dinner intimate so we can really talk to everyone and show how much we appreciate their help and support. However, we don't want to be rude.

Answer 1

If the people in the wedding party have a significant other that is also invited to the wedding, then that SO should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, too.

ESPECIALLY if they are from out-of-town.

How would you like to be told your hubby/SO is in a wedding, you have to travel a day early to get there so HE can attend the rehearsal dinner without you?

Answer 2

Not at all It's your wedding!!!

Answer 3

I don't know if anything is officially inappropriate anymore, but it would be unusual to not invite spouses and so on.  It would not conform to wedding etiquette as I know it, but I'm an old guy and, as they say above, it's your wedding - do it your way.

Answer 4

It would be best to invite the parents of any children involved and a spouse/date of anyone else in the wedding party.

Answer 5

It would be rude.

Answer 6

No, you must invite their spouses, and it's nice to invite grandparents, and aunts/uncles as well.

Answer 7

It's your wedding and you can do what you want.

Answer 8

You should invite the spouses, it would be rude not to and your rehearsal guests would like that. If people are out of town, it is a often a custom to invite them to the wedding rehearsal dinner so that they have something to do, but thats up to you. If you have living grandparents you should invite them as well. Are you having ushers, guest book or honor attendants? Those should be invited as well. If you have a special friend who you couldn't find a place for in the wedding, this would be something good to invite them to as it would make them feel more involved and appreciated and not forgotten. Those are my ideas/thoughts/and suggestions but it really is up to you.

Answer 9

I don't think it is inappropriate to not invite the extras. All too often the rehearsal dinner invite is overextended. The rehearsal dinner should be for those in the wedding party and sometimes out of town guests that have arrived early.

Besides that when people bring spouses and other children rehearsal itself can become a nightmare and sometimes the focus gets lost when you have too many distractions in the room.

We are planning an at home dinner rehearsal (casual BBQ) because just wedding party is about 25 people. We are only doing it this way because we will have several people from out of town. If we were doing it at a restaurant we would be limiting it to strictly wedding party, no spouses or extra children.

I don't see anything wrong with having it intimate, that is the way it should be in my opinion. :)

Answer 10

Try visiting this online forum http://www.weddingcup.com. Since it is focused on wedding, you have a better chance to find your answer there. This is a common place for couples and wedding professionals to exchange their ideas. You can search for similar question, post your questions there or chats with others who seek the same interests.