Is it irresponsible to have a baby as an unmarried person?

Question

To me is seems very irresponsible to have a baby if you're not even married. There is no guarantee you will even get married, and it seems terrible to raise a baby with only one parent if there is any kind of choice. Obviously unplanned pregnancies are another subject completely. But do people agree that they should generally wait to get married to try to have a baby, or at least be engaged.

Answer 1

Different people, different circumstances, and different reasons. I myself am having a child and am unmarried. But I live with my bf of over a year. We both work and make decent money together, buying a house together, and are going to raise the baby together. I want to get married and he wants to wait because he's been through a bad divorce before. But eventually we will. And we will be 27 and 34 yrs old when the baby gets here. Now, yes, there are people that don't have money or decent jobs, don't have a steady stable relationship, and they get pregnant. Most of the time it is an accident in that case, but it happens because they weren't responsible in preventing it.  

Answer 2

Why are people so narrow minded these days!! My partner and i aren't married and don't intend to marry at all for very personal reasons. We are expecting our first child Ella Sky on Oct 21st. She was very much planned and loved. We both have great jobs,a house and cars.Just because we don't have a piece of paper to declare our love doesn't mean we love each other any less then people that do.

Answer 3

Even if you aren't married, what's to say you can't raise a child as a couple? Or not as a couple, there could still be two parents, they simply don't live with each other anymore. We have moved on as a civilisation where we do not require marriage before having a child - couples can quite happy go without it. At the end of the day, marriage is simply a few words and two rings - what if the couple don't believe in the ceremony and all its values?

Marriage isn't as sacred as it used to be; a lot of marriages break up quicker than a New York minute.

Answer 4

Oh my god, the way half of yous are going on about this you'd swear we were in the early 1900s..

Being married, having a peice of paper, having a different second name does not deem you with any special skills to be a better parent..

Im not married, i have a house with my partner and im due our first baby in november and i can tell you without a doubt I will be a better mother then a "married woman" our situation is perfect and just because i dont have a piece of jewelery around one of my fingers does not in any way effect how much i will love, care and protect my child.

EDIT: BRYANNA

Who the h**l do you think you are calling mothers like me selfish?? my partner and i have full time jobs and a beautiful home and have worked our asses off our baby thats on the way, we have given up and sacrificed so much for this child and you call me selfish, have you seen the state some "marraiges" these days are in, and how much emotional damage they do to their children?

You need to keep your mouth shut before you start running your mouth about something you probably dont understand, actually what the h**l am I doing explaining myself to a narrow minded idiot like you anyway..

Answer 5

Not at all. As long as you are in a loving committed relationship, there is no reason why you have to be married. I don't think people who are just casually dating should plan babies, but a committed long term couple who happen not to be married, why not?

Is it very old fashioned to say people have to be married to raise a baby well. There are lots of marriages that break up as well as relationships you know.

Answer 6

I Disagree. I'd prefer to be engaged/ married first and be living in my own house. but there is also the case of the biological clock ticking away. i've told my partner i want children around 30. im nearly 25 now. i'd love to have kids at about 27/28. see where im at when i get there. but if i'm unmarried (hopefully will be married by then) and hitting 30 soon, i'll still have a child then.

Answer 7

NO it's not obviously unplanned. I am engaged now but was not when I got pregnant.  We are very much in love and planed on getting married in a few years.  We both wanted kids we had talked about it.  I got pregnant, we were not trying, but we were not trying not to.  We just let it happen.  I am 24 weeks pregnant. We are very excited.  My baby will have 2 parents a mom and dad thank you.  We already both love her very much.  We are going to wait a year till we get married.  Do you have a problem with that.  It's our choice and it works for us.  

You don't know everyone's story or what there relationship is like.  Don't pass judgement on everyone and think you know.  People like you really p**s me off.  It's our choice. What if we never get married but stay together for the rest of our lives?  Our child has a happy loving home but her parents are not married.  Is that bad? You know it happens.  

Respect marriage over dating HAHA.  You know how many broken homes there are because  of someone being unfaithful or money.  Do you think going throw a  divorcee is better for a child?  I know a couple that have been together for 15 years now and they are not married and don't plan on getting married.  I know a couple that was married spilt up when their girl was 4. Her parents were married but even since she was 4 she has not had her dad around. She only saw him on the weekends.  Is that any better then not getting married in the first place?  

Whether or not your married does not matter. It's about raising your child in a happy healthy home with love.  You don't have to be married to do that.  

Go ahead judge me.  You don't know me or my situation.  So I don't care.

PS. Once you have been with someone for over year and live together you are no longer dating you are partners in a serious relationship.

Answer 8

Yes, it's unfair to the baby.

They're being selfish, not waiting. They just want a baby.

They don't think of the emotional effect it will have on the kid.

If they wanted kids for the right reason, they'd wait.

Answer 9

its best for a child to have two parents but everyones circumstances are different

Answer 10

a peice of paper stating that a couple is married does not garretee that they will live a happy life and therefore there children will be happy also.  noone knows what the future holds for them.. all that matters is the LOVE,BOND, and companionship to make a healthy relationship last with or without marriage.thus the children see it in the eyes of there parents.. and yes, people can raise a lovely child w/o being married. once again a marriage does not seal the deal for a lifetime of bliss.. the understanidng of ones love for the other does.

i made my point..  thank you

Answer 11

Every situation is different. I am unmarried and expecting a baby. My fiance and I have been together for well over 5 years. We have been together a lot longer than many people who date for a year or so get married and have children right away. I think that a piece of paper that is registered with the government is not really a good way to dictate what is appropriate and unfair to a child. Even though my pregnancy wasn't planned. It's not as if my child is going to have a worse life that someone who got married after dating a year and had kids right away.  

Answer 12

no not really if they plan 2 b together they dont need a marriage paper to prove it

Answer 13

Being married doesn't guarantee that the child will have a full life. It's not irresponsible to have a child out of wedlock anymore! It is more common now than you think! What's best for the child is all that matters! I am married and pregnant but I'm married b/c I want to be!

Answer 14

Not to me.

Everyone has different circumstances.