Is it just me or has anyone else noticed?

Question

That when asking for statictics or cold hard facts in reference to adoption it is GERSHOM who usually comes across with them? This is in regard to many posts lately that there is nothing more to her or her blog than anger.

Comments anyone?

Answer 1

Gershom is brilliant, bold and passionate.  Don't change a thing thats what i admire about you!  I have learned so much from her and she always has the facts to back up her opinions!  Amazing.  Keep up the good work. :)

Answer 2

No it's not just you, I've noticed that too.

People just feel uncomfortable with facts and stats staring them in the face and therefore attack the messenger

I have more to say about this but my kids need me, I'll edit this later

Answer 3

*sniff*

thanks, you have no idea. thank you so much. I thought everyone hated me.

I am harsh, and I know that i don't have a sense of humor when it comes to adoption. I know it would be more effective if I was calmer and nicer to the ignorance of people just getting into it. I've been reading ignorance like that for so many years I'm just tired of it. I used to be so calm and now i'm just so fed up. I'm sorry for my harshness, its not me, its the frustration with the enemy ( the industry ) and the frustration from ignorance and selfishness blinding the focus on the children. It tears me up. Its my breaking point. I'll work on my harshness.

Thanks for noticing my passion.

Answer 4

Yes behind the anger is a reason or more then one reason. IT takes wisdom to see through ones anger... and not criticize it .

All I have in my posts are anger.. resentment. But who I am and the positive things I do and say are for friends or people I respect. Since respect is earned and not just given I am generally rude to everyone. If you don't like it... don't let the door hit your but on the way out....

People who don't have the anger can't understand what it's like to live with it 24 hours a day... it never leaves, takes a break. Every time you see a family or a mother/father with their child the anger is pushed.

Why  people  don't see past the anger and read the cause of it. :They don't want to it's not their problem...

Or is it easier for them to sit up high on the pedestal and talk down? Having the ability to see ones anger and wisdom to listen to to put it together to get understanding and be able know what that person is saying seems to have slipped through people's grasps. I pity them.. what a square world they must live in..

Answer 5

Great point, Lori! I, too, have received thumbs down for merely sharing facts (statistics). Gershom is much more informed about the issues surrounding adoption than I am. I've learned so much since joining this forum.

Seems that some people don't want reality to bite their fiercely held beliefs right in the @rse.

Answer 6

There is no doubt that when it comes to knowing the adoption industry Gershom is the most knowledgeable person on this post. The facts she posts are interesting, frightening, and eye opening. However, her answers to randon questions by well meaning people looking to adopt can, AT TIMES, come across as being quite condescending, harsh and yes angry, in an "you idiot" kind of way. There is no doubt that this is her passion and I admire people who do what they can to make a change. Adoption is glamorized in our media. I believe most people, unless they are adoptees, have no clue as to how the adoption industry works or how adoption affects all people involved for a lifetime. Simply informing them instead of bashing them for their lack of knowledge is a much more effective way to get her message across. Peace.

I do not know Gershom any more than you can know anyone from Y/A. It is evident she has passion for a cause with an intelligence to match. I do not know her socially therefore I can not say she lacks "social grace". What I have learned here about adoption has changed my entire position on the subject. Some of the stories I have read here are heartbreaking, enough for this old tough skinned cookie to be brought to tears. Stories I could not stop thinking about.  They brought back some terrible memories for me. I had a  friend (in the 60's) who found herself pregnant. Very taboo. Her parents were going to send her away to wait out her pregnancy and surrender her child, a child she and her boyfriend desperately wanted to keep. With the pain too much too bear, she took her life at the age of 15, rather than surrender her baby. Very sad. A great loss for all.

Answer 7

I've learned a lot from Gershom.  She rocks!

Answer 8

The adoption industry would never present cold hard facts.  Even when confronted with the cold hard facts - they actively ignore them.

They still would like you to believe that open records will cause the abortion rate to "skyrocket" - despite the cold hard facts that nothing of the sort happened in states that opened their records to adult adoptees.  Even when the abortion rate has dropped across the country - in states with open records, it has dropped more than the US average.

This is a cold hard fact - but open records opponents still want to flog the "skyrocketing abortion rate" theme - because some people are so incensed by legalized abortion that they don't want to be bothered with facts.

Answer 9

There is no question in my mind that Gershom is very well informed about her cause. I respect her for that even if I don't always agree with her.

Answer 10

Gershom inspires me - on a daily basis.

I'm so glad others see it too.

Answer 11

Could this question be more specific? :0)

I only give personal opinion (from my world view)  as too lazy to actually look things up but love it when people bring in stats, then I actually like to go and look at the stats (on both sides) to see viablity, whether they are double blind etc. etc....just another glimpse into how boring my life is lol!

Answer 12

few comments:

SUNNY- >huggg< you are completely on the right path "gershom the great" she is building her masses as we speak

BIZZI-'intellegence is a gift....' sheer brillance. you never cease to amaze me.  a more true setiment has never been uttered.

GERSHOM-you have taught me many things. some i do not like, but they were lessons i unknowingly needed. thank you for your insight and passion. you are a true leader.

and now for my answer,

lori, it is not just you, we all are amazed by her knowledge and fire. even if you dont agree with her totally, she makes her case and sticks to it. anger? maybe at times, but justified.

Answer 13

So far for me I have been lucky to have good answers from just about everybody.Her answers are very good. LaurieDB is very good too & Heather..So far i have only had one dud,in the last question asked.Seems some people don't understand the world isn't all rose petals & cozy.

Answer 14

YES, I definitely notice this!

I also notice that the cold, hard facts never seem to be provided by the "adoption industry."

Answer 15

Gershom does her homework.  (Shoot, she does MY homework.)  Since most adoption stats come from outfits like the NCFA, I appreciate her efforts to provide some balance.

Answer 16

lori...

there are many who benefit from the practice of adoption and will fight tooth and nail to discredit anyone who has a contrary view.

i guess it's the same group of folks who support baby trolls (my questions regarding reporting people who solicit babies on Y!A was reported), accuse all those who are critical of current adoption practices as being bitter n***s; yet purport that adoption is a loving choice. *sigh*

personally, i respect gershom.  when i first came here, it was actually a response she made to a question concerning bmothers being sued for changing their minds... i personally respect adult adoptees, because when i was struggling with a ton of guilt about not placing my son, it was members in this community who supported me.

go gershom...

Answer 17

Gershom's knowledge combined with her passion is the stuff that makes positive changes happen in this world.  I don't think there's ever been a leader who hasn't pis*ed off at least a few folks with their forthright courage of conviction.  

Seeing statistics, statute and factual examples put out for everyone to see is very frightening for some.  Oh, well.  It's what needs to be done.  I have noticed that those who are against reform have been able to provide *nil* stats or statute to back up their positions.  I'm certain that people like Gershom are not who they want people to see in a positive light.

Answer 18

Gershom rocks! I love the info she gives.

Answer 19

We have had some great 'heros' in adoption.

Betty Jean Lifton, Joe Soll, David Kirschner, Marley Griener, Nancy Verrier, Florence Fisher...

I truly believe that SHE is the next generation's HERO for adoptees.