Is it me (16 YO male) or my dad? any advice?

Question

Im going to be as unbiased as possible, so dont think its entirely from my veiw.

Ok well my dad has been treating me poorly lately, and he says its because im atagonizing him, my mother, and our dog. I dont have any siblings, so sometimes i tease my dog (he loves me, hes snuggling up to me now infact) just by holding him, even though sometimes he wants to go visit my mother.

Okay, so I did this yesterday, and I put the dog down, he ran around the corner and my dad then came from the same corner and started yelling at me and hit me in the arm (more emotionally painful than physically).

Then he sent me to bed and came back into my room about 3 minutes later and got right up in my face (literally, smelt his breath lol) and started grunting at me. Obviously I apologized, thinking he overracted.

His temper is so short I dont walk by him in the house anymore im afrid he'll do something. Ill go around the couch to avoid close-t-physical contact with him. Hes a good man though.

He also makes me drink weight gain shakes, to the point where I vomit in my mouth, gaging. I have an EXTREMELY fast metabolism, im 5'2 and weigh about 90 pounds, but does that give him the right to do that?

Oh and about me antagonizing him, he says I make excuses to everything (which I do make excuses, but who doesnt?) here is an example...

Dad: Son, take a shower now.

Me: I'm going to do it later after I do my workout, that way i dont have to take another today.

Thats what he gets mad at, hes also really stressed at work, because its really unstable right now. So is it me or him? Does he have the rights to do this (force substances into my body)?

Answer 1

um your 16, you should be able to make sure you eat enough and such ourself, you aint 5 anymore and he shouldnt need to babysit you

when he talk to you you shouldnt make excuses unless they are valid, and if they are then ok

you aint a kid anymore your slowly growing up to be a man, and he should treat you as such and expect you to behave as such...its the only way you will learn how to be one

Answer 2

Talk to your mom or another trusted adult. He has no right to hurt you like this, physically and mentally. You could also try doing nice things for him for awhile so he'll see that you dont mean to give him trouble. Once he gets home from work, why not offer him a nice cold drink while he sits down and relaxes? That always works with my dad, he hates his job as well.

Answer 3

If he is stressed  at work he may have no where else to vent his frustrations.  Unfortunately you are the closest one.  Maybe you two could do something different together.  Go fishing one Saturday or some other activity where you can spend time talking.  (not the movies) It's amazing how when you spend time together outside of your normal environment how people can open up to each other.  Hope this  helps.

Answer 4

i dont personally think he has the right to do so, but hes your dad and you say hes a good man, you dont want to do something to strain the relationship with your father for years to come, believe me, when i was younger i thought the same about my father and then i ****** everything up

Answer 5

Not really and if they make you sick what is the point.  See a doctor to see if there is anything they can help you with as your dad is not a professional in this area.  It sounds like stress is getting the best of your dad.  Try to sit down with him and talk with him and tell him how you feel.  Let him know you understand he is stressed but you really just want to get along with him.

Answer 6

He does sound like he is on the edge. You may not help matters either. I think it's time to sit down with him and have a talk. Ask him what you can do to help him. That will diffuse some of the anxiety if you show that you are concerned about the situation and that you want to make him feel better about you. Take what he says seriously, and try to make the effort.Some of the stuff he may come up will probably sound petty, but remain calm, listen to him and see if at some point you can offer a compromise to his thoughts if you do not necessarily agree with him. It's kinda like reverse psychology, yet it shows that you are willing to make the first move.It's a pretty adult strategy for a 16 year old. Try it. Don't wait for him to do it. A hug might make all the difference to him as well. Also, know when to pick your battles, and when to just humor him.

Answer 7

He sounds like a di*k to be honest...and definitely not that educated given the weight gain shake/protein bit.  I lived in a house full of a******s too...I pretty much agree with the above posts.  You need to know when to pick your battles and when humor him.  It sucks I know, but this is the live you've been dealt and it sounds like you know you have to deal with it you just need to learn how, lol  

You have a few options i think...man, this brings back memories.

1. Attempt to appeal to the humanity and logical side to him.  Talk about to him about your issues OR attempt to be the bigger person and apologize to him and listen to his issues about your guyz' situation.  Bite the bullet and do what he says, make jokes with him, go fishing he's a manly man, whatever...i'm sure you know.

1b. Oh, please stop drinking those weight gain shakes.  Workout and show him results but seriously, they are not healthy for you, especially at 16.  It's not like they're dangerous but taking supplements messes up your overall metabolism.  You aren't meant to gain muscle more than a certain increment, and your not a fully adult male yet so you have certain hormones and chemical reactions that are still developing.  Messing with your natural cycle is super dangerous and you could end staying that height and not growing until you die.  i'm 23 and i have my minor is in nutrition, just trust me.  If you wanna talk later about it my e-mail is in the sources.  

2. Pretty much avoid him...know and love him but realize that even your parents are people, and he was probably a di*k in highschool.  You say he's a good guy so you probably won't need to do that.  But always have that in mind...some people don't change.

3. Talk your mom about the severity of your situation.  Your almost old enough to GTFO but i've seen dad's like that become super abusive, and it's not too pretty.  If your situation escalates beyond that of normal low aggressive attitude and argument, i just suggest talking to your mom and taking decisive action.  But of course, that's all speculative, it doesn't seem like would need to do any of that, just a warning.

Answer 8

He sounds like a real jerk. I would do whatever I could to stay away from him. Talk to your Mom if you can and tell her how you feel. I think with your Dad that you won't be able to please him no matter what. Even if you took a shower when he said he would still get mad about something. I think he needs professional help. Find an adult you can trust and talk to them about this.