Is it me or is it my husband and mother-in-law?

Question

I have been married for 34 years and in that time my husband never bought me flowers until I begged for 3 years. Finally he bought me a dozen red roses on Vals Day and his mom walked in and yelled at me. "Don't you know that Tom just had to spend 89 dollars on the car?" I did what I usually do, nothing. I asked Tom why it was okay for his mom to snoop in our cupboards, drawers, whatever and he said that she was his mom and she could do whatever she wanted in his house. When I asked why he never bought me flowers but he always sends them to our daughter and his mom. He said with a laugh "Because you don't count." His mom has walked in on us while we were in bed having s*x and stood there and watched and then asked with a giggle, "What are you guys doing?" She creeps me out horribly. She calls him everyday and he calls her everyday. She has to know what everybody in the family is doing then she talks behind their backs. Why do I put up with this, and why does Tom treat every other woman in the world better than me? There are so many horror storys that I could tell but I don't have the heart to go over them again. What is wrong with me?

Answer 1

it's not you it's your hubby that can't cut the umbilical cord from mommy dearest  

Answer 2

theres nothing wrong with you, you love him, but the mom is weird... and i think you should let him know that he should treat you better because your his wife or perhaps  you need to leave him.. because i do feel that you deserve better

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with you. It's time for an ultimatum: mom gets the h**l out of your guys' business and he starts treating you with some respect and agrees to marriage counselling or you leave. You deserve to be loved and respected and as his wife, you are to come FIRST in his life, not second to Mommy.  

Answer 4

Kudos to you for staying married for 34 yrs. That being said

it sounds to me as if your husband has some problems.. and your marriage does also. Your mother in-law does not have the right to snoop in your things and you should say so. It is also your house. You should tell your husband and his mother they need to respect you more. Stand up for yourself and your marriage. Go get some counseling if your husband won't go ....go alone. If finances are an issue lots of ministers will  counsel for free. Good luck

Answer 5

IF IT KEEps on the way it has id divorce him if i were you his mother shouldn't come in your bedroom  thats none of her bussiness i had couple of mother in laws that way probally one reason i divorced i been threw 4 marriges only one was good to me but he died from a heart attack ive had two mean mother in laws  

Answer 6

I will tell you what is wrong with you.   You have a sh*thead as a husband.   My jaw dropped as I read.  It is easy for us to tell you to give him an ultimatum, but I am assuming that your husband is at least 52 and if he is still such a d**n mommas boy, I don't know what you can do.

You at least need to not give him any affection whatsoever, no kissing and definitely no s*x.  

I am very sorry.

Answer 7

While He's gone one day I'd have the locks changed and leave a duffell bag on the front lawn with a note attached to it saying "If I come last and I don't matter,then I guess I wont be missed while you sleep on your mother's couch and m********e in her bathroom like a 13 year old. Let me know when you want to crawl back and treat me like a QUEEN! Don't wait too long or I'll be out painting the town red. Shape up or ship out!!" That outta show him a thing or two hunny. good luck! after 34 years of putting up with that c**p, you deserve a medal. my mother in law drives me crazy and my husband and I have only been married for a year. God bless you!