Is it me or my pregnant wife?!?!?

Question

I'm constantly trying to help her (make her breakfast every morning, come home to make her lunch, always asking how she feels. She knows that I'm just as excited as she is in having our little baby. She just got through her first trimester. I'm going insaine though. It's like, no matter how I make her eggs in the morning, it's not how she wants it. No matter what I say, it's not the right thing. Even if I try to explain myself and apologize...it's still my fault. I am trying so hard to keep being patient with her and I am an EXTREMElY patient guy. I do everything she asks me to do, and I'm working two jobs! My questions are: Am I doing everything right? What can I do better? I know she's going through a crazy time but crazy enough for this??? I just need support in continuing to do what's right or correction in what I'm doing wrong!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

Answer 1

Yeah that sounds like my marriage. I was working 50-60 hrs a week, got up made breakfast, only to find the breakfast dishes on the table when I got home, talk to my wife, see how she was doing (she claimed to have an inoperable brain tumor which was one of an endless stream of lies), clean the breakfast dishes, make dinner, spend time with her, only to have her accuse me of having an affair, and waking me up at 1AM to argue about what's wrong with me for hours, and if I suggested we talk when I get home after work, she would physically  assault me, sometimes dragging me out of bed by my hair.

That ain't right.

Well, I stuck with it for years, and finally realized she wasn't going to change, so divorced her. During those years, it never got better, and I was doing all the sacrificing, accommodating, and being a partner, but she wasn't. She was endlessly self-interested and "entitled."

She was a manipulative narcissist eventually diagnosed bipolar (though I think psychopath was more accurate), and I was the flip-side; the self-sacrificer who could only find the will to live for others, not for himself.

I don't think it's normal, obviously, and sacrificing your life, sanity, and well-being for pity's sake isn't going to work.

Answer 2

Believe me, its the hormones, and its NOT fun for us either.

Just agree with everything and keep up the good work.

Remember making babies is a 24/7 job. Our bodies dont get a break. Its EXHAUSTING and we feel like c**p.

You sound like you're doing a great job tho.

Keep it up. She needs you even tho she may not show it.

I'm sure she'll apologize once the babies here.

It hits us after that

"Like oh, wow. I was a complete psycho"

Answer 3

Don't worry, you'll get your wife back a few months after the baby is born. Keep in mind that a woman has more hormones going through her while pregnant  than a person makes throughout his or her lifetime. Stop doing so much, she is bored. Does she work?

Answer 4

as an extrememly pregnant chick myself, my advice is this: sometimes its best to just back off and let us make our own d**n eggs. we have nothing left but food LOL. food is an extremely important factor in our life, and if it isn't just so, we want no part of it. just keep being patient. she knows she's acting crazy but she really can't help it!!!! i know for sure i can't, and i know my husband wants to toss me out the window. he tells me he can't wait to get the real me back, but he is always there, when i need him 100% and i know you will be too for her, because you love her and you guys are having a beautiful new baby. in a few months this will all be a bad memory, just hang in there, and as tough as it may be, just stay calm and agreeable. the key word here is appeasment lol

Answer 5

Tell her to quit being such a *****. I hate it when women use pregnancy as an excuse to treat their man like c**p.

Answer 6

she should be grateful, id love if my bf did that for me!!! you sound like your doing all the right things, just be supportive and there for her but sometimes even when u do all the right things, our hormones can take over lol. but it shouldnt be a 24/7 thing, if only she could see what it was like NOT to have you, but she will realize how lucky she is im sure, just give her time and keep doing what your doing.

Answer 7

Trust me its not u!!!!!! she just has her hormones racing all over the place.Her body is going through some changes that are hard on her.Keep doing wat is is that ur doing sit down and talk to her about how happy u r that ur becoming a family.Bring her a rose.SHe'll love it.At the same time give her space.good luck!!! and congrats on the baby ur going to be a great father.

Answer 8

Right on MAN! I would be happy to have someone like you. She is a lucky girl. Just keep helping. It will get better. It isn't easy being pregnant. Every thing seems worse. Good luck to you and your family. Hang in there. It will get better, you will see.

Answer 9

wow, I'm jealous of your wife! I wish my boyfriend would have catered that much to me while I was pregnant. She's lucky, and taking advantage of it.

You're doing more then enough for her! She's just raunchy because of the pregnancy, and I'm sorry to tell you this, but things will probably just get worse until the baby is here. Pregnancy is really miserable for some women, and they get extremely irritable about everything.

I honestly don't know what to tell you, other then: hang in there. Maybe you can talk to her about it. Sometimes when my boyfriend points something out to me, with case examples, it makes me realize he's right. Do it in a "I'm concerned" way...

good luck~ don't over-exert yourself though

Answer 10

Nothing it's the hormones. Keep up the good work!

Answer 11

I don't understand why everyone is saying it's the hormones making your wife act this way.  Maybe it is, maybe it's not.  Whatever the reason is NOT okay for her to be so negative of your efforts.  I agree that it is extremely irritating when women use pregnancy as an excuse to act like this.  Yes, the hormones are there (I've been pregnant  three times, I know), but your wife should have enough self-control to appreciate your efforts.  I'm sorry for you.  You need to talk to her about how frustrated you are and explain to her that you are doing the best you can, and then some... if she continues to act in the manner she has then lay off your efforts and she how she likes being married to a typical husband, because trust me, you are going WAY above what most men do for their pregnant spouse.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and watch out for the post-partum hormones (those are often much worse).

Answer 12

Trust me it is not you by a long shot! I'm still in my first trimester and my boyfriend I think is going through the same thing you are going through! All I can say is deep down insideshe really appreciate you! She wants you to do those things!!! Good Luck

Answer 13

Any woman would be lucky to have you as a husband! Just keep loving her and helping her, and she'll thank you once she realizes the effect that those crazy hormones are having on her!

Answer 14

its not you i was mean to my boyfriend when i was

Answer 15

Believe me it is not you it's her. Her hormones are racing. This is how i am with my husband but i try to catch it when i do it. You might want to talk to her. it wouldn't hurt well it might lol :0 you never know with pregnant women. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and from my experience i get hungry every 2 to 3 hrs. and asking my husband to do this do that and i'm tired all the time and that's what makes me irritated. but hang in there.

Answer 16

Pregnant women are EXTREMELY moody and they have terrible cravings. This is a side effect that just needs to be dealt with. Sorry, but every man that has a pregnant partner will experience it. I suppose it's a test of your love for her if you help her through this.

Good luck :]]]

Answer 17

Her hormones are all over the place, is there ever a time when she apologizes for critisizing you.I know i lash out at my husband alot but i generally calm down at some point (usually after eating lol) and realise what i said was wrong. If not (and i know i'll get a thumbs down for this) but some women, if they have been wanting to be pregnant for a long time tend to overdramatize the whole pregnancy thing such as excessive mood swings, eating ALOT, complaining of backache before the baby is big enough for it to be noticable, etc.

Answer 18

pregnancy made me really really moody.  My husband had serious doubts that we would get through it the first time, after that we were both better for subsequent pregnancies.  Try asking her what you can do for her.  For me I had a hard time with nausea and eggs in the morning would not have stayed down.  Try offering her back rubs, foot rubs, and if she gets a craving be understanding if she asks you to go get it.  Try to help with household stuff to.  You aren't doing anything wrong and she will return to her normal self post pregnancy

Answer 19

I have to agree with everyone else. Keep up the good work, and realize that a lot of it is just her hormones.

Perhaps you could ask her what she would like to eat, instead of making eggs every day - sometimes she will get cravings, and some foods will turn her off after a while or plain old gross her out. Give her a break, also, from asking her how she feels... EVERYONE is asking her that, but take time to talk to her (really talk) about how she is doing (emotionally as well as physically). Daydream together about your baby, and start doing the stuff that is fun for women, like planning the nursery and picking out clothes!!!

Just being there for her right now is the most important thing that you can do. Pregnancy can be kind of scary and it is a very big deal for most women (and their partners). Your support in this time, and during your child's life is the best possible gift you can give your family!

Good luck!

Answer 20

It's not you. It's just her hormones are going crazy. Just keep up the good work! And keep in mind that shes not always going to be like this..

Hope I Helped!

Answer 21

Wow, that's so great that you are doing all these things for her. I would blame it on pregnancy hormones. I can't explain to you, my husband, or anyone else how it makes me feel sometimes. I know I can be cranky but it's like I have no control. haha

Hang in there! Just don't take it personal - I know it's hard sometime. I keep telling my husband the same thing.

Good luck.