Is it mean of me to not let the neighbor kids come over all the time?

Question

I say no alot but I have 3 of my own and it's loud enough allready and I just don't seem to want more over.They go to swimming club,they go to school all day,they have homework and showers to do plus a couple chores,so they stay pretty busy.Does it seem mean that I'm saying no,not all the time but alot because sometimes I just want it a little quieter.

Answer 1

No, I would make all play time outside in the yard unless it is bad weather, except for maybe one day a week. That way, they are getting in some physical activity and I am getting in some peace and quiet.

Answer 2

My rule is no kids in the house.  If my son has finished his home work or activities, he is free to play with neighborhood friends, as long as they stay outside.  This works to my advantage in many ways.  I think with three kids you definitely are entitled to your boundaries.  Not mean just practical.

Answer 3

NO

Answer 4

No you're not mean but I'm in a similar situation.... always questioning if I am mean as well.

Kids are busy little bees and need time... alone by themselves, with their friends and with their family as well.

You should maybe make up a schedule of certain times or days that are best for their friends to come over and play. Maybe you can say, ok after the school homework is done, your chores and whatever else they have to do, your friends can come over for 45 minutes or an hour. Or maybe you only want them over on weekends and then either explain to the friends or their parents what days and times are best and that the other nights you would like to have family only nights. It will give all the children something to look forward to and everyone knows and is on the same track.

Also send them over to their friends house too, kids need the socialization of playing at other places as well and interacting with other parents too.

It's totally understandable and normal.

Answer 5

Od course not. It's your home, you have the right to some peace and quiet.

Are you on good terms with the parents of these kids? Can you work something out with them where you have them over once a week, and yours go to their place once a week? That way both sets of parents get some peace.

Answer 6

No not at all they can play outside

Answer 7

no that is ot mean at all. i understand you are busy and the thing is that their mother is just usng you so she does not have to hear the noise. thats bad=( good luck!!

Answer 8

Let them play in the backyard. We have a privacy fence and it's secure.

No, you're not mean, you're real.

Just try to remember that at least you know where your kids are and what they are doing.

It seems that the younger parents feel like they have to watch their children play. Do you do that? When I was a kid, we weren't supposed to come inside until it was dark. I'm an older parent, so I just keep them outside and do my own thing.

Answer 9

i wouldnt let the neighbor kids come over all the time because then thy grow into a habbit of coming over alot and then they just start coming over without asking anyone.

Answer 10

I agree with u. i hav three of my own and sometimes I go crazy pulling out my hair when things dont go right. haveing kids is a burden but hav in the neiecors kids is more of a burden. So im not saying 'dont hav them over at all. dont hav them over all the time!=-)

Answer 11

No you are not mean having friends over should be a special treat, maybe as a reward for being quiet!

Answer 12

Its not mean, your sanity is important.   But I do recommend trying to make your home as welcome to others as you can.  As your kids get older and they know others are welcome there, you'll be the parent who always knows where your kids are.  

Its really good for kids to know their friends are welcome.  Its always good for parents to know what their kids are doing.  How you choose to balance that with your needs is a balance.  Maybe you tell your kids that friends are welcome on Saturday and you plan your time around that.

Answer 13

jessica no you are alright with what you believe in.  I have 4 kids and they are the ones who go out after homework is done and go to other kids' homes to play.  I try to get my kids to stay home but they just are bored in my home, we dont have video games or those "cool toys" other people seem to have.  I stay at home all day with my daughter who is 3, i try to take the kids to a park and play every day and have them do chores... i like it when other kids come over to my house and play with the kids, but not all the time, i like it quiet too and im nervous and anxious when it gets so loud etc.  if the kids go to someones home and the parent says no they just come home.