Is it more difficult telling your Aparents that you have found your Bfather than your Bmother?

Question

I have read this a few times now. It seems that finding your bio mother is a little more tolerable than finding your bio father. Do you think that Afathers have a harder time accepting this information? My bio daughter has commented that she doesn't want to tell her dad yet that she has found her bio father. Can anyone tell me why this is?

Answer 1

My guess is that maybe he has made some comments in the past about him or it could be that between daughters and fathers they have this bond that mothers and daughters do not have. Mothers and daughters do also but a different type of a bond. Maybe she is afraid that she will hurt his feelings. Men do not usually openly talk about their feelings like women do.

Answer 2

its easier fort them to find the bfather because naturally u have less connection w/ the father so the aparents will not be so jealous. the bfather just gave a seed while bmother had you!

Answer 3

My dad supported my search, and told me to stay in it "for medical reasons" (meaning to get my information).  However, he felt threatened and fearful that he'd 'lose' me.  My a.mom once told me, "He's happy for you. Just don't talk about it too much."  

My a.mom, on the other hand, had reluctantly agreed to my adoption (because it's what my dad wanted, I believe).  She had no problem with me finding, and in fact, gave me the information I needed to find.  My birth name & my mother's name.  She was not threatened at all.  

I met my n. father 3 years after meeting my n. mom.  When my dad asked to see his picture, I cringed because I looked just  like him.  I believed it would be easier on him if I looked like my n. mom and didn't want him to see that I looked just like another man.  

Happily, I told my dad how much I loved him and appreciated his support, especially in spite of his own fears!  I knew my dad loved me, and he knew I loved him.  Finding my first family could not change that.

PS that is..."just like the FEMININE version of another man"!  LOL  ; )

Answer 4

it must be different for everyone. i was adopted at 3, and i found both bparents at 14. my adad helped me find them and he was completely ok with it, but my amom was totally jealous and i'm almost 21 and she still has nothing to do with my bparents and hates to hear about anytime that i spend with them.

Answer 5

Maybe she's just nervous because she's daddy's little girl. It may not be him, it may be her.

Answer 6

I didn't get a chance to tell mine, heart disease and cancer took them from me the same time I started my search.

But they knew I was going to search, and I can honestly say it wouldn't have been necessarily harder to tell them I found one vs. the other, it would have been hard enough telling them I found anyone at all.

I think my aparents (adad especially) were more concerned about what I'd find if I found my n-father, I think they were under the assumption he was probably a deadbeat or something, but ironically enough my n-parents had gotten married 6 months after my birth so I found them both at the same time.