Is it my fault??? I need advice about my DAD! Please! 10 pts easily!?

Question

My Dad is a drug addict and has been almost his whole life. He sobered up for the first 8 years of my life (faking out my mom that he never did drugs) Anyway, when I was 8 years old he started over dosing on pain pills. It got so bad that he was spending all of his money on it, falling asleep in his food, couldn't drive and Attempted to drive with me in the car. We sent him to his mothers as we lost our house. He left us homeless. We lived in our car, with people, etc. Anyway, when I was 10 he got on Crack, stole from us, stole from our friends, our family and so much more. Now, I am 15 and he's stoned again on pain-pills. We find pill bottles hidden all the time (it's sad to say but I am getting quite good at finding his little stashes) It hurts me so badly. He doesn't pay for a thing and lives on our couch until my mom throws him out, but he always comes crawling back. My mom works 80 hours a week to keep a roof over our heads. I feel so badly for her and I love her tremendously. She knows the desires of my heart and always works out a way to get it done. She's been the best and I can't stand my dad for what he has done to us. I love him, but it has got to stop. He even picked me up on father's day stoned and we almost got into an accident. then he lies and says he's not stoned when he is. which alters my sense of reality. i hate it. but i feel sorry when we kick him out because he loooks so sad, but he didn't care when I was sad and wanted my daddy back, instead of having a stoner/crack head living with us, taking my jewelry and my life savings from an 11 year old. calling us at 3 am to get him off of the gas staion floor. Now, he just expects us to take him back! why does he do this to us? should we let him back? we found xanax last night and was crazy! i was actually scared OF him, i haven't ever been scared of him, just the situation. what do I do? is it my fault? prayers would be lovely too!

Answer 1

there's really nothing you can do, i'm sorry :(

but i'll definitely pray for your family!

Answer 2

One question?

Why.the.h**l.are.you.taking.him.back?

He doesnt deserve it, kick him out, and dont let him back until he cleans up.

You cant go on like this, and you need to put your foot down and stop giving into him.

Answer 3

Easy 10 pts my ssa

Answer 4

I think you should really tell someone, besides family members, so that something can be done about the situation. It's NOT your fault, you should never think that. Seriously, you had nothing to do with your father O.D.ing, it was all of him, no one made him do that. Don't blame yourself for the mistakes he is making. Just be thankful that your mom is such a wonderful person, and loves you so much. Keep thinking positivie, and don't shift the blame onto yourself.  

Answer 5

There is nothing you can do. Your Mom should not let him back. There is no excuse. You are being emotionally endangered, however you will get over it.  Since there is nothing you can do, you cannot worry about it.

Go to Narc A Non meeting though.  Find others like yourself and they will comfort you.

Either way, you will be OK. You can handle it. It is hard when you are a kid and have no control but live your life and know you will be just fine.  I saw a guy at the bus stop friday in a motorized wheel chair with a nice dress shirt on with a nice tie.  He had no arms and no legs and yet HE was going to work. I bet he had a great Dad to make it this far in his physical state.

Maybe before you were born up in heaven God came over to you and said, "Hey, I have a really nice, really good, perfect Dad for you."  And you said, "I'll be OK, give him to the guy with no arms and no legs, I think he will need him more."

Just imagine if the guy with no arms and no legs got your Dad?  so you see, everything worked out OK. You will be fine.

Smile and hold your head high and enjoy your arms and legs.

We all have problems. This is NOT about you, it is about your Dad. Your Dad has a low self-image and he thinks he does not deserve more or that he is not capable of more or that he does not deserve to be loved.  He is making his feelings come true...perpetuating his own reality.  Until he realizes he is worth having a better life he cannot change.  There is no 'hitting bottom', really. Everyone calls the day they quit their 'bottom' so really the bottom did not come first, the decision did.  The bottom followed the quitting, the quitting came first, not the bottom.

Answer 6

its not ur fault! you need to pray for that,and god knows everythings for you!  

Answer 7

I feel like ive had to grow up fast too. my dad died when i was 11 and my mom is bi-polar and slept most of my life away. my advice for you is tell your dad you will only visit him if he is sober no more of him on drugs or he loses you and if he doesnt care s***w him! I think you should get a part time job and during summer get a fulltime job maybe share rent at an apartment with your mom... he will try his hardest to quit maybe put him in a detox type program. anyways hope you make it through kiddo p.s ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! dont EVER let your parents make you think something is your fault that they did. you dont influence your parents they influence you!

Answer 8

I feel really sorry for you that you had a terrible childhood.  Your father was not a good man and a bad example to you.  Personally, I think that you should send him to the mental hospital to get some help.

Answer 9

he's extremely selfish and pathetic, who would steal from their own kid? it's not your fault that he chose this miserable and probably soon to be short life, he needs to cut the **** and love his family more than pain pills and himself

Answer 10

no this is not your fault sweetheart. your dad is addicted to narcotics. your mother needs to kick him out until he agrees to go to a n/a meeting. i know your mom must work so hard to take care of you and try to deal with his drama on top of it. my advice to you is to steer clear of him as much as you can. i know he is your dad, but you can not trust him while he is like this. and if he takes the wrong thing he could physically hurt you. if your mom won't kick him out you need to call the police. what he is doing is illegal and is not safe for you or your mom.  

Answer 11

He really needs to hit HIS bottom before he can start the long road to being well. Some tough love is required your mum needs to kick him out and not let him come back until he is well. Cruel to be kind so to speak.

Answer 12

Stay strong and never make the same mistakes as your father. Blessings.

Answer 13

omg-i feel soo bad 4 you(ill pray 4 u :-)

of course its not your fault

Answer 14

thats so sad, i have no idea wat to say but sweetie its not ur fault dont even think that, ill pray for u tonight

good luck

Answer 15

no, it's not yr fault.

have you talked to your counseler?

and i know its none of my business, but maybe yr dad should go to rehab.

i'll keep you in my prayers

Answer 16

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

this is all him! he has made these awful choices and has made his family suffer for it.

i am SO sorry for you and only hope you can have the courage to say no to him and not let him back in the house or your lives.. you've made a clean break now keep it broke..

if he tries anything like breaking, call the cops..

by letting him in ; is aiding and abeting him in his addiction.

a) you don't want him hurting you

b)you don't want him stealing from you

c)you don't want him hurting you

try finding a place that you can go and talk to someone.. like narcotics anonymus..they can help you by giving you some sound advice

good luck!

Answer 17

of course it isnt your fault.  i will pray for you and your family!!!            

Answer 18

I hope you find your answer soon. It never came in time for me. I will be praying for you, and for your mother.

On the bright side, I gained alot of strength from my father, in that I do everything in my power to not be like him. I have learned alot from his mistakes.

Answer 19

no, it is not your fault... he needs help, and your mom is not helping him by allowing him to stay there

he needs to check into a drug rehab center, or go to counseling, or both...

allowing him to stay on your couch is called enabling, and won't help him in the long run at all

tell your mom how you feel, and hopefully she will stop letting him stay in your home, so you and your mom can have a more normal life

Answer 20

First you got to relax and breath. Yes your dad is a drug addict and he needs to go to a rehab center if he is so sad of what he is doing. First of all, all the people that do drugs no what they are doing they are not stupid they know that they are putting there family through h**l the first thing you got to do is try to tell your mom that you need to put him in rehab. Sweetie none of this is your fault as human beings we all have choices and your farther did not pick a very good one for you and your mom and your family. I will pray for you every night. But if things get to bad call the cops sounds horrible but maybe that will wake him up somethings that seem terrifying to you may do good for your dead. Ask god for help everyday. Don't give up. And i am telling you from the bottom of my heart that never give up on God. God bless you hunnie and there is no need for ten points here you deserve every bit of my advice on what to do in this situation. Need to talk E-Mail me alright.  

Answer 21

I wish your mom could break away from him completely.  He needs to sink or swim on his own, not bring the whole family down with him.   Let her know how bad the situation makes you feel.  Don't hide it, as she won't realize how damaging it is.  You'll miss him, but he won't pull himself together when the family keeps supporting him, I'm afraid.

Answer 22

No matter how hard it is for you, you guys have to put your foot down. Kick him out and keep him out. By giving him a roof over his head you don't realize that you are supporting his habit. If he has to pay for shelter, he won't have money for drugs. But you also have to support him. Talk to him and try and convince him to get help. If it doesn't work, give him the consequences. Missing out on your kid's life is pretty ****** up punishment for both us and our parents. It seems though that parents only realize that after it's too late. But I gotta warn you from experience. People won't change unless they want to. Make him want to.

Answer 23

il pray

Answer 24

Maybe you should go talk to a therapist, or a doctor about your dad's behavior and find help for him. I am very sorry about your situation.

Answer 25

I think u sholud send him to rehab or something!!!!!!

i feel really sorry for you,coz i know how it feels when u havent had a chance to enjoy your childhood!!!trust me i know!!!!Tell you wat spend as much as time with your mom ..so called "Mom-daughter"activities!!!

hey your birthday is just around the corner no???wish u a happy birthday and may your dreams come true dear!!!!

i'll pray for you!!!!!may God bless you!!!!!!!

Answer 26

He needs to go to rehab and he's  bringing negative feedback on you and your mom you will be in my prayers

Answer 27

Is it your fault , No Way is it yours or your moms fault . I applaud your mom for all she is doing to keep the family going and livable . She must be quite a woman . Now as far as what you and your mom need to do . You must find a way to practice tuff Love and the next time he is stoned out of his mind , drunk , or just plain crazy , call the police and have him picked up and put away where he can get help . No matter how you try , you can not help him until he is ready To be helped and that will never happen . Asking for and using prayer is a mighty tool and one that you definitely should use . But you must make him get help and the only way that will happen short of God intervening is to turn him over to the authorities and let them do their job and you must do this before he kills himself , you , or your Mom and he will never know he even did it .  

Answer 28

I wouldn't want to be around people on drugs.

Answer 29

never leave someone because of his problems , help him instead......drugs are hard but nothing is impossible.......there is a chance that he can get  help from you too or rehab and still become a good person as he used to be........my advice is to help him untill the impossible

Answer 30

ok im praying for you thats tough sorry for the situation your in..its not my call for what you do with ur dad and your mom and your self.....happy almost sweet 16......dont think that just because your dad ended up the way he did that you will.....go to college if cant afford get a job and go to  a community college.......pray yourslef to:]

Answer 31

I just said a prayer. Hope it helps.