Is it my legal right to see my adoption papers and want to meet my birth parents?

Question

My mom is holding my adoption papers hostage and she wount let me sign the paper that lets me see my birth parents. Her logic is that I dont need to see that right now since I'm in college and am 18 years old. Is there any way i can force her to show me the papers and let me sign them so i can meet my birth parents.

Answer 1

what state are you in? some states you have no rights as an adoptee...but seeing that you are 18 you can start your own search regardless of where you live..Alabama, Delaware,Maine, new Hampshire, Oregon, Tennessee, Kansas and Alaska are the states that feel you have the right to get your papers..i found my dad and two of my siblings in march of this year after looking for twenty years...my adoption is sealed forever but there are always ways around it if you truly need to know where you came from and who you are and it sounds as though you are at that point..good luck

Answer 2

your 18! you should be able to sign them since your legaly an adult. just tell her that if she wont give them to you you will call the police lol. or just sit her down and say. please i really want to see my mummy

Answer 3

she has to give you the information its illegal for her to hide it from you. but if she wont help you, go to the police and they can get your record and tell you the adoption agency you were at and what hospital you were born at and help you track down your birth mother. and your adoptive mother would probably get in trouble for not allowing you to see them all this time.

good luck i hope you get what you're looking for!!

Answer 4

Sadly your story is a familiar one to me.

So many adoptive parents will not allow their adoptees to search out their family of origin - something that should be their right.

It is your right once you are 18 - it's whether or not your adoptive parents will help or hinder your search. Obviously your a-mother wants to postpone the inevitable.

And it doesn't matter 'why' you want to search - you should not have to justify something that you have every right to do.

Perhaps try telling her that she is only pushing a wedge in-between your relationship by her actions.

Out of all the adoptees that I know - the most well adjusted are those that are given all their information - and freely allowed to search out whomever they wish to search out - and to care for ALL members of their families if they so wish.

You're an adult - but sadly you'll come to realize that adoptees are constantly treated as children - no matter what the age.

For now - I think you should register on ISRR - with your details - and if your mother is looking for you - your details will be matched and you will be notified -

http://www.isrr.net/registration.shtml

And if you need any support from other adoptees - here is the link to a great forum - (with many adoptees who have searching tips and hints if you need them!) -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

I wish you all the very very best with your search. (and hope your a-mother will come through)

Answer 5

yes you have every legal right to get that information now that you are 18...but think about why you want them..also think about why your parents dont want to give them to you really...it may hurt your mother that you want them after all this time and her being the one that loved you and raised you..im not saying you shouldnt but please just think about everyone involved and there feelings...Good Luck

Answer 6

Yes, at the age of 18 you are a legally an adult. Which means by law you can start to decide certain things for yourself- for example, you can marry, you can vote. You can also at this age request your adoption records, depending on the laws of your state for open records. If your adoptive mother is denying you your birth certificate and adoption papers, then you need to find out the reasoning behind it. Is she doing it because she honestly believes she is protecting you or is she doing it because she fears what you may do once you find your birth family? You can re-assure her that you love her, and that no matter what, you still view her as your mother. All you are doing is searching because you are curious about where you came from. Which by the way is your right as a person to do.  I know that when I finally contacted my birth mother it was because I wanted some answers to some questions. Like why did she give me up? Who was my father? What were her likes and dislikes? Just because I found her, did I in anyway replace my adoptive mom. I know this we as adoptees are the only ones that know when we are ready to start this journey and no one else can tell us when we are ready. If you feel that you are ready then by all means start the search and if your adoptive mom will not give you the papers then you may have to start at the very beginning. All the best to you!

Answer 7

You are 18 years old and not a minor anymore. You legally have the right to see what papers and meet your biological parents if you wish (if they agreed to you contacting them when you are 18- it will say on the paperwork).

Your mom is most likely worried that about you meeting them (maybe they were young when they had you, or maybe she is scared you'll like them more)- you need to reassure your mom that you just want to know who they are and you have no intent on replacing her.

Answer 8

You may not be able to force her to show you the papers, but legally you can obtain them from the agency you were adopted through, and sign papers for the registration to pursue meeting your birth parents.  You are 18 now so legally you can.

Answer 9

Depending on the state you live in. And the law,s of that state. Your age is also a facter.At some point in time you have the right to know.Find out what the law is first. You may be able to obtain information from another soarce.

Answer 10

It is your legal right, and since you are old enough to make this decision on your own, it should be only your decision now and not hers.  You might see if you can consult a lawyer to find out how you can get those papers since laws vary from state to state.  You first might try reasoning with you mom, explaining to her that now that you are more of an adult than ever, that you are capable of handling this information now, and that you wish to do this.  Act and talk as an adult to her to help her see that you are mature and serious.

Answer 11

i didn"t know you had to sign a paper in order to see your biological parents??   you have a right to see themif you want!!  you are 18

Answer 12

You mom does not have any legal obligation to show you any papers in her posession.  However, now that you are an adult, you can try to get the courts to unseal your adoption records yourself.

Answer 13

well since you're 18 you have every right to the papers. As far as meeting your parents, be sure it's really what you want to do. I am 20 and was adopted from South Korea, and honestly I am perfectly fine not knowing my family. As for the papers, talk to your mom, and make sure she knows you mean business. You're not a kid anymore, so she should respect that. not much help, but Good Luck!!

Answer 14

She's probably afraid of losing you to them. Talk to her and let her understand how much you love her and no one could ever replace her. Tell her waht a great job she did rasing you and how thankful you are. Let her know your reasons for wanting to meet your birth parents, such as curious what they look like, why they gave you up, perhaps family health reasons. Assure her you want to meet them as friends and not parents for you have her, and will never trade her for the world.

Answer 15

yes its your right but you can go to the court house where they did your adoption and you can pay something and get your sealed records. its probably petition the court as they say and you can do this and get them you are old enough. dont' be suprized if you are shocked when you meet your bio folks that there is nothing there. i mean hey i did talk to my real bio dad and since i didn't know him and stuff well it was like meeting a stanger but you can get medical info from them but i wouldn't really stay around them much its nothing more then giving you life and leaving it does not matter what the reason that is their fact and not yours but you will see when you do meet them. good luck

Answer 16

Yes you have a right to see your birth certificate etc. My daughter was adopted from birth she found me, I'm glad to say, by going to St Catherine house and looking me up in the record's on a computer. Remember you can go to social service's they might help. Try not to force the papers from your mum it might cause her to be more stubborn give her time. Keep nagging, ask her for your original birth certificate and if you get it search from there my daughter found me in 15 weeks total. good luck, hope it all works out for you.

Answer 17

It is your right to see the papers. But you should really think about it. Is it the right time for you. A friend of mine met her biological parents when she was 18. It kinda screwed her up. Too the point that her older brother never wanted to meet his biological parents.

Answer 18

That isn't her right. It is yours. You are 18 you can do what you want. Call the adoption agency and get them to give you another copy. I would want to know who my baby went to. Best of luck!!

Answer 19

wow that's deep!  paranoia, much.  many of the adoptees here have good resources that might be of help to you...

Answer 20

Depends where you live.  If you live in the UK - then you are an adult at 16, and you have the right to find out.  There are other ways to find out rather than through your parents.

I know you prob don't want to hear this bit - but the main reason that she doesn't want to show you is incase you leave her (she is insecure).  So sit down with her and re-assure her that you are just curious, you don't intend to go and live with someone that gave you up, you view her as your real mother etc.  Ask her to go with you to the meeting etc.

If she see's you acting mature about it she may relent.

Failing that then the National adoption agency will have the same details as your adoptive mother, and they will start the process of getting you reunited without any consent from your adoptive mother.

Please also remember that if you were put up for adoption it may be for a good reason, and your adoptive mother is protecting you for a good reason.

It's such a difficult situation - make sure you have a friend who can support and assist you through it all - it's a long and sometimes hurtful, upsetting journey.

Good luck

Answer 21

You can actually get a copy of your records for yourself.  I did.  My mother didn't have the full file, so she sent away for it for me when I was about your age.  I had no interest in ever meeting my birth mother, but was curious about any medical information I might find, which was none.

I am sorry I can't remember how she got them, it may have been that she contacted the adoption agency I came from.

One thought, although you may have the right to WANT to meet your birth parents, they have the RIGHT to leave the past where it should be left...in the past.