Is it normal for 19 year old guy to not have friends?

Question

I'm a 19 year old guy who has never had any friends before. The people I've been with never really cared that I did have any friends. I was tossed around from one family to another throughout my upbringing. I moved from one place to another because either the families grew and I was push out, or they simply didn't want to take care of me anymore. So when I graduated from high school I was told to pack my things and live out on my own

It just really gets me down to not have a single person to share my thoughts with my entire life. I'm just really confused. I don't even know if a have a real mother or father. Being through six different families makes me really down trotted because it feels like I have no value to anyone. I would love to have someone as a friend, but I simply don't think people will even consider it. Then there is another part of me that says NO, you should not try to make any friends at all. It is really embarrassing to have been through 6 families.

I'm so confused. What should I do?

Answer 1

first off, the fact that you have been through 6 families shouldn't make you a friend-repellent. in fact, im pretty sure many people would find your story quite interesting. your unique experiences will set you apart in a GOOD way, not in a bad way.

and i know tons of people who lack friends--i dont think your age has anything to do with it. plus, the fact that you're lacking friends shouldnt reflect on your own personality. you could be a perfectly normal, happy and friendly person and still lack friends. who knows? maybe you're just having a hard time adjusting to friendships and trust.

believe in your own worth and value.

find new ways to introduce yourself to people and get yourself out there. do whatever it takes to muster up the courage and confidence to make friends.

i find that it gets easier to love others and accept others when i start accepting and loving myself.

hope everything works out for the best :)

Answer 2

Aww that's very sad, I feel for you.  Don't give up on having any friends though, I'm kinda in the same boat as you even though I didn't go through that many families.  I have depression and often get too moody for a lot of people to want to be around at times, but I do have my couple really good friends though.

I think of someone in your situation you really need to talk to a counselor.  I've noticed that of all the people in your situation today that are in foster homes being moved from one family to the next, they are all emotional and all need some counseling to work out their issues.  Just don't give up on it and get some help, you really need it for someone who has gone through a life like yours.

Answer 3

Well when I first read this question without all the details you posted, I thought it didn't sound too normal.  However, reading what you went through I think its safe to say in your case it is normal that you don't really have someone to confide in.  You have been moving around a lot throughout your upbringing and, friends aren't that easy to come around.  It is possible you had acquaintances and such but real friendships they take a ton of time.  In my opinion you should completely start to open up to more people in your life.  If you don't its like you will suffocate in all the stuff you had to go through.  Try opening up and really talk to people whether you join a club, go to a school, church.  Even if you are talking to the person next to you in the bus, or the cashier at the supermarket.  Most conversations are dead end types yet, sometimes you can make lasting friendships taking certain steps such as this.  If you start opening up yourself, people will too...

Good Luck!