Is it normal for a 13 year old to act like this, or do you think she may be having psychological* problems?

Question

My sister is turning 13 this year and will be attending 7th grade in the fall. We were raised to practice good hygiene (ie: brushing our teeth twice a day, showering, etc) but since January, her hygiene has been totally lacking.

Sometimes she'll go a day or two (or more) without brushing her teeth and it makes her breath smell terrible. We'll try to drop hints, ie: "Did you brush this morning?" and she gets annoyed and says yes, but I know that she doesn't.

Also, she sometimes smells really bad and it's obvious she hasn't been showering because her underarms and privates give off a unwashed odor

I've tried talking to her about both subjects. She said she doesn't always brush her teeth because she oversleeps in the morning and doesn't have time.

She also said she doesn't bathe on a daily basis because she doesn't feel like it most of the time. Then she added that she was curious how long she could go without taking a shower before people would notice.

She confessed that she went about a week and a half before finally deciding to wash up.

I don't understand what is wrong with her. Mom and I started thinking maybe she had been physically or sexually abused, so we all went out and had girl talk. Sis said she's unpopular and none of the boys like her, but no one had mistreated her.

She's extremely moody and always wants to stay at home playing on the Internet (i think she may be looking at pornography) instead of shopping or running errands with Mom like she used to.

Sometimes she will just start laughing really hard and not be able to stop. When we ask what's so funny, she says she doesn't know.

Answer 1

I think it might be a phase because my sister is also 13 and doesn't keep up with her hygene either. (I don't know how anyone can but) my sister does the same so i don't think its psychological problem. I mean she and my sister might have to learn the hard way to keep up with their hygene. Also when my friends were 13 they did the same thing. I never did but I think its a phase

Answer 2

I  don't think it's psychological in the sense she needs to see a concealer. I think your sister is going though a period of low self esteem. If possible take her shopping or to get her hair done. Make a Girl's day once a week or even once a month. Just to help boost her self esteem

Answer 3

its a phase.

it's a strange phases and possibly one you may want to talk to with a doctor. but it seems like she wants more attention.

Maybe you should MAKE sure she showers/brushes her teeth. Even if that means making her shower in a bathing suit and you watching her shower.

If it is true that she "over sleeps" and cant brush her teeth, maybe buy her some gum or mints to carry around with her. or buy her those Oral-B brush ups. She can carry them around in her purse.

If she's being this difficult buy her some things to make sure she keeps clean, like a little bag filled with ..

Hand-Sanitizer

Brush-Ups

Hair-Comb

Mints

Gum

Wipes

Deodorant

Otherwise, i say just watch her shower and brush her teeth. but i think it's just a phase she's going through and she'll grow out of it, but that doesn't mean you should sit there and watch it happen. help her through it.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT

+about the p**n, if she is looking that up, that is really a personal thing so she should be able to look that stuff up. She's 13 and curious. It's better she finds it out this way than expierementing herself.

Answer 4

It's a phase... I went through it too. Eventually she will be so embarresed she will get out of it. It WILL pass.

Answer 5

i think she needs to talk to somone.. if shes not showering.. .then that would be why the boys dont like her... i dont know what to tell you.. i mean how do you really make somone take care of themself if they dont want to be clean>> thats hard... if she was my kid i would probably drag her into the bathroom and make her wash up... i would say get her in counseling.. or have her evaluated.

Answer 6

this is perfectly normal.  i'm thirteen, and i went through that phase, as did all my friends.  it WILL pass

Answer 7

If it was just the hygiene I wouldn't worry too much about it, but the moodiness, laughing for no reason and the amount of time spent on the internet makes me wonder if something else is going on.  Any chance she is drinking or taking drugs?

Answer 8

trust me she's okay she's feeling a little down on herself rite now all she needs is a confidence boost. ask her to go shopping and help her change her look. this will help her and give her the feeling of a "fresh start "

Answer 9

It sounds like she is depressed, I would recommend taking her to counseling.  

Answer 10

She is 13. Leave her alone. She is growing up she needs some space.You will understand when you turn 13. Tell your mom about your concern about her hygiene.  

Answer 11

I think its just a phase all 13  year olds go through phases. I doubt shes looking at p**n tho.... almost every 13 goes on the internet now to chat on places like facebook myspace etc. Just have your mom tell her if she doesnt shower or brush her teeth she cannot go on the internet that will make her wanna shower im sure.

Answer 12

Sounds like there could be a ring of truth to what you all are thinking. Ä°2d get her to a counselour, but try not to make her feel like its her fault. Maybe you could act like youre all going to therapy together or that you all have some issues you want to work out. Then you guys could quietly stop going and she could stick there. You know, just to get her to not feel like shes being targeted which could make things worse.

Answer 13

Yes..it's normal.  My daughter is 14 and all her friends are like this.  It's an awkward age.

Answer 14

Although this may not be the answer you're looking for, I think, as many others do, that this is just a phase. When I was ten I didn't bathe regularly, for the exact same reason, "I don''t feel like it". I grew out of it, though. Let your mom (or you and your mom collaboratively) think about what to do about this. Maybe she could talk to a school counselor if you're worried enough. You could also take her out for a 'spa day' or do one at home. YOu can bond and also maybe clean her up a bit!