Is it normal for a 19 year old to be hostile towards a female middle child younger than she by four years?

Question

Okay I have this older sister and she is positively dreadful! Seriously I'm a bit used to her but its just plain annoying! She's a young 'adult' so therefore she should at least act like one. Honestly I don't know what I did to her to make her have- what seems like a grudge on me. She has always showed her hatred for me and it had started when I was- I think it was around when I was 1st grade or probably younger but no older than when I was 3-4 years old. And now it seems that my younger sister is the peacemaker well when she's there she makes sure the eldest doesn't harm me (how ironic). Again honestly the older one scares me she's like a venomous snake just waiting for the perfect moment to strike. I know I wasn't the perfect kid when I was younger and I know that I used be annoying but isn't that the job of a younger sibling to an older one? She was nice when she was younger before we moved to a different city. I'll admit that though I don't like her I don't hate her like she hates me. I try to avoid and not speak to her as much as possible. I'm just relieved that she goes to collage in a different State.

I feel sorta better to get this problem off my chest its just been bugging me for a long time now.

I just want to know if its normal and that when she's older if she'll start acting her age and possibly lose the hate thing she has going on?

Answer 1

Yes it is common for the older sibling to feel hatred toward the younger children. According to psychologists, what happens is that the other children take the attention and love from the parents that should have been their. Basically if you guys didn't come around she feels (in her conscience or sub-conscience) would have had allot more from the parents and family but you guys stole the spotlight she once had. Sometimes it is true that the parents do tend to the younger children if they feel the older is doing better (which is why the younger child usually 'acts-up' and the middle child leans toward rationality). Will she ever act her age ... maybe, maybe not. But probably not till she gets on her own and/or gets some counseling to help her deal with her inner hurt. The best thing to do is be understanding but not a doormat.