Is it normal for a 9 year old boy to take the blame for something he clearly didn't do?

Question

My son tells the normal "kid" lies. But I have noticed that he will readily agree to guilt for things he didn't do or intend. To test this, I put a book on the floor in front of him. He saw me do it. Then I said, "Why did you put this book on the floor?" He started making up excuses why it was on the floor. It didn't occur to say to him , "I didn't do that, you just did!" It made me wonder about some other things he's agreed to, like when we say, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" or "You were trying to get away with xx, weren't you?" and he'll say yes, he did. With him taking the blame for everything, we no longer know when we are punishing him unfairly for lying, or whether he's telling the truth. He seems that he only wants to do things to please other people with no thought at all for himself. He only even does his schoolwork or play with his many friends to please others, he seems to be almost unaware of himself--to the point of not really wanting anything. Thoughts?

Answer 1

yes

Answer 2

he has low self-esteem

and low self-confidence

maybe you should take him to a psychiatrist

Answer 3

Your son clearly hates conflict.  I know I took the blame for others because I couldn't stand the yelling even if it was at someone else, which may or may not be his problem.  He needs to be taught to have a spine and stand up for himself or someone else will walk all over him.

Answer 4

he is trying to keep his friends out of trouble by saying he did it instead of them so he doesn't lose his friends

Answer 5

It seems that you have what I would call a helper. someone who takes the problems of one person and make it his own so that they will not get in trouble.just kick back and let him learn that you cant keep doing that.

Answer 6

It is pretty normal for a kid to want to make the people around him pleased with him. From the sounds of things he just wants to say that it was his fault instead of getting someone else in trouble or telling you that you were the one that did it. You may want to ask your son whether or not he is being bullied at school which may explain why he is willing to take the blame for something that he did not actually do. don't worry to much - talk to him - ask him why he feels the need to take the blame  - Good luck

Answer 7

iT sounds like you have a Selfless Child.  But his behavior seems much more of a problem than just selflessness.  The selfless child can distinguish between right and wrong.  They feel content with themselves and somewhat in control of their lot in life. Since they feel good, they do good.

They're concerned about the welfare of others. They willingly set aside personal needs and interests for someone else.  However, your child seems to fear any confrontation so i think that should be addressed and looked at as a worse behavior than telling the occasional lie.  I would nip it in the bud....because it can't be healthy.  Is going to take a murder rap for one of his friends in the future?  If so, i want his number on speed dial.  (just in case)

Answer 8

Sometimes if the boy/girl who took the blame was trying to keep his/her friend out f trouble

Answer 9

Well, You should spoil him. He'll be having the time of his life. After awhile(When he is having fun) don't spoil him anymore. He will soon realize he wants to be spoiled and think about himself. After awhile he will come to his senses that there are thing out there that he will want. It is normal to take the blame. I am a 14 boy, I take blame for my friends. So my friends won't get in trouble alone. I have a 10 year (Foster)Brother who has attitudes, lie a lot, steals (Not occasionaly), and Doesn't listen to Adults! You are lucky to have a boyl like yours.

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Your's Truly

David!