Is it normal for a girl who's been successive rapes to push away new boyfriends/people who get close to her?

Question

My girlfriend broke up with me a while ago and i've been left completely confused. Her reasons were that 'I was too nice', 'she met me too soon', 'I deserved so much better' and that she missed her (violent) ex boyfriend. She told me she's never been treated as well as I treated her, and she always said how glad she was to meet me. She spends most of her time isolated and in her room and I can't understand why she would prefer to be alone that with a boyfriend who would treat her nice?

Answer 1

sadly, that's very very common. I was only sexually abused by one person and it stopped when I was pretty little, 9 or so?

for a year and a half i was emotionally attached to this guy who was a total jerk. he's a loser, drinks way too much, does way too many drugs [not just weed either] and just mooches off of so many people. he's like 20 almost 21 now. but yeah, he called me his best friend but we would randomly kiss and stuff, and we were together as much as we possibly could be. i would stay wherever he was staying on weekends and we'd cuddle all night and stuff. but he was constantly asking me to borrow money and i didn't have a job cause i was only like 14 1/2 - 16 at the time and so yeah. he mostly just used me because i liked him SO much [for whatever reason!]. and then my current boyfriend came along and is amazing, treats me great, respects me, is always there for me, just, i mean, not perfect but, compared to the guy i was with, he pretty much is. haha. and he knew i was emotionally attached to the other guy and wanted me to separate from him and i couldn't because i was so convinced that my current boyfriend would just leave me because i didn't deserve him and it couldn't like, be true. so it took me like a month b4 i finally quit talking to the other guy, but it was REALLY hard for me. way harder than it should have been. i just didn't think that there could be any guy out there as amazing as my boyfriend is who would pick a girl like me.

anyway. i guess my advice would be to try and keep talking to her and being as supportive as possible when she lets you. just show that you really aren't going anywhere and hopefully she'll start believing you.

sorryy =[  

Answer 2

Hi derek, i answered this question yesterday so i guess my answer will still be there, not sure whether you asked it twice or not. Good luck and hope everything resolves itself.