Is it normal for a husband to touch his wife on an intimate level?

Question

while she is sleeping? While I was in my marriage, my husband would frequently touch me intimately and even attempt to have intercourse with me while I was asleep. This did make me feel uncomfortable and I felt that is was invasive. Could this be considered as sexual abuse?

Answer 1

It certainly starts off as normal, because many wives actually like that.  It is only a problem if you tell him to stop doing it, that you dislike it, and he continues to do it anyway.

Answer 2

Sounds like fun to me. s***w off with your silly sexual abuse c**p. Just roll over and have some fun.

Answer 3

TELL HIM YOU RATHER FOR HIM NOT TO TOUCH ON YOU WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING, IF HE CONTINUES THEN IT IS CALLED INVASION DISRESPECTING YOUR WISHES

Answer 4

It's normal depending on the type of sexual relationship you have with him some people like that kind of thing, but if he knows your uncomfortable and he can sense it or you tell him you don't like that and he still dose it then somethings wrong. And if you don't tell him and let him do it then you need to tell him how you feel before things escalate and get  worse  

Answer 5

Umm if it made you feel uncomfortable yes i believe that it is sexual abuse. Did you tell him to stop??

Answer 6

No it is not sexual abuse you are making something out of nothing if these are the types of things that are pushing you to divorce than I can see your husband and daughters point.

Answer 7

I do not know if the word normal is the right word to use. When I was with my girl she liked me to initiate s*x by waking her up by caressing her from a sound sleep. If you are not comfortable doing that you should tell him that you feel violated by his touching you while you are asleep. Like I said, Some of the best s*x me and my girl had was when I would touch her while she was sleeping and she would wake up and be fully aroused and ready for lovemaking. It just depends if you are in to that or not. I hope I have helped you with this. I can see you are struggling with this.  

Answer 8

yes it was invasive and it isnt normal.

you still have rights to privacy and common decency whether you are married or not.your husband should respect you and know you need your rest.

yes i would consider this a violation .thats just plain weird.be glad your rid of him and if this ever happens in the future seek legal advice.

i hope it hasnt scarred you at all for future relationships!

Answer 9

I suppose it could be considered abuse, or rape if the intercourse happened and you made it clear that you did not want it.  However, I think alot of husbands do that...not because they are trying to be invasve or hurt their wives, but because they love their wives and want to be intimate with them.  For me personally, I think its kinda s**y when my husband does that.  It makes me feel very attrractive and wanted, to know that even in his sleep or dreams, he wakes up and wants ME.  Just my personal opinion, but if you are ever in a relationship again where the man likes to do that, I would suggest letting him know right from the start that you feel uncomfortable with that and would appreciate him not doing it.

Answer 10

Heather, that was something you needed to discuss with your husband.  Yes, it is normal for a man to touch his wife on an intimate level.  No, it is no sexual abuse unless he force his way on to you.

Answer 11

Nope, I do it all the time, sometimes my wife won't let me and some times I am lucky!!!! Is part of being a man.

BUT if it made you uncomfortable then he should have stopped.  That is why web p**n exist.

Good Luck

Answer 12

Been there done that will never go there again. You know all we want to do is make love to you because your hot, your beautiful and so on and you girls comes out and say its abuse no wonder men go out and cheat. Some of you girls blow these things out of proportion.(SOAP OPERA TIME) Do not be surprised that one to many times you say no he will go elsewhere. He married you because he loves you, he makes love to you and yes you girls don't always get off this doesn't mean he doesn't love you and definetly not sexual abuse. Hello sometimes when your body is relaxed it feels better. For the other question on uncomfortable do you even realize how many times you make him uncomfortable and not even say anything about it. Well if you think that this is sexual abuse in a marriage I think you should get out. Do you even realize that maybe he doesn't want to make out sometimes but does it just to please you. You ever think about that. You ever think maybe he feels abused by you, your comments or maybe he feels you abuse him sexually when hes not in the mood.

think about it.

Answer 13

Not really. If you consider it that then tell your husband. If he doesn't stop then you could consider it him being selfish.  

Answer 14

if you were uncomfortable with it, he should have respected your wishes -

however, both of you should have communicated better about this -

it sounds just like a simple fetish or kink he had - which is perfectly normal, and most couples have some kind of thing they like to do - that other people would be offended at or consider weird - which is a huge hang up in america - people need to be more educated and open about sexuality - especially in relationships - such as marriage

but since you were not on the same page as he was about this - it is probably better you divorced so both of you could be happier in your s*x lives

Answer 15

sorta creepy but me and my boy have sleep s*x a fair bit. I think its a lovely way to wake up but I love him..?

Sometimes it just happens and we will wake up halfway through etc..

Seeing as you say while you were in the marriage, obviously you aren't married to him anymore for other reasons as to this, I wouldn't dwell on it unless you are building a case for divorce.. i

But I think if you voiced you didn't like this and it continued and he didnt do it in his sleep (a lot of people do btw)  then it wasnt right.

Answer 16

Have you ever thought he was just trying to wake you up? He was horny, in the mood, you were asleep....so um..touch you, some form of foreplay hoping you'd wake up...your body responds...he assumed it was ok...poof, s*x happens.

If you never discussed it with him, you can't expect the behavior to stop. I think it's a normal man behavior on some level. I've had two marriages and lived with a few other men over the years and all of them have done the same thing in one way or another. Some it bothered me, others it was just how they are and I got used to it.

My most recent relationship, the man works nights and would come home at 5am while i'm still in bed and he'd be in the mood. Instead of shaking me awkae and demanding s*x, he's touch, kiss, etc...while I was asleep and coax me awake. Personally, I found that far more pleasurable than the normal mornings when he'd come in and immediately turn on the lights to wake me up. lol

Answer 17

No, you can't rape the willing.

Answer 18

wish my fiance did that!  im always the one who initiates it!  only once was i sleeping when he started having s*x with me and i loved it, was such a huge turn on..wish he did it again!

Answer 19

no its called your husband being a man.... ive done it to my lady plenty of times... sumtimes we men get that urge in the middle of the night...  

Answer 20

most women would probably enjoy that.  Its how it makes you feel that is the real question.  ask yourself why it bothers you.  then ask your husband how he would feel if you did that to him, or just do it sometime to see how he reacts.