Is it normal for an almost 8 year old to say "I don't know" alot?

Question

My stepdaughter is going to be 8 next month and for about the last 2 years, when ever she is asked a question its "I dont know" for example "what did you learn in school today?"

"Why did you throw all your clean clothes on the floor?"

and so on.

it drives me craaaaazy. How can I get her to stop this, I dont want to ground her, shes not doing anything wrong, besides driving me to drink (j/k)

Answer 1

Completely Normal....she is just giving you an Honest Response...most of the time she really doesn't know why she is doing the things she is doing...it is just part of being a kid...My 13 year old does this as well!

Answer 2

Several suggestions....

Is she picking up that bad habit of being ambivalent from your husband or an older sibling?  

Is she like this with everyone or just you?  Maybe she's (sub)consciously showing her disapproval to you marrying her dad and keeping her distance from you since you're only her step-mom and not her biological mom.  

She might be getting lazy and instead of actually using her brain to answer, she'll just use the stand-by "I don't know".  Talk to her teacher and see if she acts the same way in school.

Answer 3

Lol its something they say when they don't want to answer the question. My sister is 12, and yep, she still says it all the time! Drives me batty as I know she knows the answer to the question

Answer 4

Change the wording around and see what kind of response you get:

"Tell me about something you did in school today."

"Explain to me why you threw your clothes on the floor."

This leaves it less open to her being able to say "I don't know."

If she still says "I don't know" keep on with other questions. "Did something funny happen, or did you work on any stories (or math, something you know she likes)?

"There must have been a reason you put the clothes on the floor. Did you think it'd be funny to see my crawl on my hands and knees and clean them up?"

If you can get her laughing you can probably get her talking more about stuff as well.

Answer 5

Nothing will make them stop. If you badger them for a real answer, you end up waiting an hour for a reason, usually a goofy one. Hopefully, it's just a phase(a really annoying one) that they go through.

I have an eight year old and we've been dealing with the 'I don't know' stuff for a good bit. And drinking seems to be a good way to deal with it, lol. That way you don't care that they don't know.(haha)

Fair warning: I have an older brother(he's 26) who STILL does the 'I don't know' stuff, with the shrugging shoulders and all. When I talk to him on the phone and ask him something, he won't say anything, so I have to say 'I can't hear your shoulders shrugging over the phone!'

Answer 6

She may be going through some issues she cannot explain or that she doe not know about.  Has there been any change in her/your family lately?? Sometimes when a child's behavior changes, it can be a blessing in disguise signaling that something may have changed and she needs help with it-- though she does not know what it is.

Answer 7

Yes it is.  They say it when they just dont want to be bothered explaining themselves.

Answer 8

lol , im 13 and i say idk alot !

my dad gets so mad at me.

but we dont like to choose between stuff

or like to be put on the spot.

and sometimes we ' just dont know '

nobody tells me anything , so when my dad ask me something abou modeling i have no choice but to say idk.

just listen to her and inform her on stuff.

figure out what she wants.

Answer 9

Oh and does your step daughter shrug her shoulders too>my daughter does that along with IDK.

My daughter is 6 going on 20 and the attitude is unbelievable, I was such a good kid but I'm thinking she gets it from me.

Let's hope that it dissipates somewhat but I wouldn't count on it, it gets worse with age, then it's the boys --who said girls were easier?!!!

Answer 10

UMMM....Its probably a habit find someway to break it.

Answer 11

Totally normal!

She most likely doesn't know why she has done somethings.

Answer 12

My 10 year old does the same thing. It drives me crazy too. I think sometimes they are just afraid to give the "wrong" answer

Answer 13

Well in all actuality she is doing something wrong. She is not answering your question.

I would not ground her but I would start answering all her questions with  "I dont know". Shouldnt take long she will get just as sick of it as you do - since that means she really cant do anything until you do know!!

Answer 14

Its common because they are getting older and they wanna feel like they're not little anymore and so instead of saying things they say I don't know to avoid copnversation

Answer 15

my six year old does that..when i ask why are you crying...he says i dunnnnoooooo im like well ya gotta be crying for some reason...or just about anything he will say that drives me crazy too lol

Answer 16

She is trying to come up with a fast answer. My sons favorite is "i'm sorry" he just turned 12. We could be talking about anything and he response is "i'm sorry". I then tell him to pay attention to what I am saying and to give me another answer.

Answer 17

Hm, I used to do that a lot too.

I think why I did it was because I wasn't very talkative, and also because I just didn't know what to say.

I think it's normal for her to be saying that a lot.

Answer 18

I would say she just doesn't want to talk about anything.  Which is totally normal at that age.  She might even be doing it on purpose just to get on peoples nerves. Just a thought

Answer 19

Try answering her questions with "I don't know" so she gets some idea how annoying that is.  Otherwise, just let it go.  There isn't a lot you can do to change it.  Ask more questions when she answers with "I don't know", but she will probably answer those the same way.