Is it normal for children...

Question

to never think of consequence? My son is 5 and Its like he thinks he is invisible.He always trying to do daring things, How can i change this I worry all the time. I have to watch him all the time to make sure he dosent hurt himself.

Answer 1

it's quite normal, especially for boys.  in fact, though they might appear to grow out of it, a couple of beers will make even adult men do stupid things without regard for the possible outcomes.  you need to teach him to defend himself from injury and to use good judgement rather than courage in deciding which challenges to accept.

try taking him to do some sports eg martial arts, horse riding, rock climbing, etc, where he is likely to get hurt a little in doing them but will be in a controlled environment at the time.  this will help him to learn his own limits.

for instance, if you take him to a climbing wall, he will be put in safety gear and harnesses, and so it will matter less if he errs in judging his own balance and capability as he is unlikely to be seriously injured doing it, but he will learn what he can and can't do without falling off the wall.  this will also develop his climbing and balance skills to make him less likely to injure himself in a less controlled environment.

you must also accept that he is going to get hurt in the course of growing up, and that you need to learn for yourself the difference between "hurt" and "damage" - i totally disagree with parents putting knee and elbow pads on kids as they learn to rollerskate, for example.  i think it's really important for kids to learn that a skinned knee isn't the end of the world.  perhaps he is being daring because you have been a bit overprotective with him in the past?

personally, i learned my limits as a child in doing some very silly things, some of which could have been dangerous.  i have a naturally adventurous character, which in combination with an inner ear disorder in my early years which meant i had very poor balance skills, meant that i used to climb up things and then lean over too far and fall off.

in one incident, i leaned over the edge of the top bunk bed (aged about four) to look at my baby sister sleeping in the bed underneath.  the bed  had been built by my dad and was six feet tall instead of the usual 4.5 or 5 feet tall.  i overbalanced and tumbled out of the bed, concussing myself on the cot bars before i landed (to the terror of my big sister, then aged 15, who was babysitting).  this incident, though alarming, did not do me any permanent damage, and did a lot to improve my judgement on how far i could lean over before i fell, since i couldn't sense my point of balance for myself.  i still have a very visual sense of balance as a result of this.

to summarize my answer to your question, i would say that you shouldn't try and prevent him hurting himself, you should be teaching him to analyze his mishaps to see what he could do to prevent himself getting hurt, and to do a kind of risk assessment for himself as to what could possibly result from his behaviour.  point out the possible dangers of any given environment to him (e.g. "you could fall off that climbing frame and break a bone/end up with a sore head", etc, etc), but let him make his own decisions as to whether to take that risk or not.

train him to make informed decisions, and in really hazardous environments, like crossing a busy road, encourage him to make a judgement as to when to cross, and then check it with you before acting.  so, you'd take him to the kerb, but then ask him whether he thinks it's safe to cross and, crucially, why he thinks it is/isn't. if it is safe when he says it is, praise him lots, and if it isn't, point out whatever dangers he has missed.

Answer 2

Well, all children are different. What I mean by that is, for example, my oldest son (now 7) was very quiet and pretty much cautious about everything-and still is most of the time. But my youngest (3) is soo wild, he's alot like your son. He does all these crazy stunts, even though he gets hurt, he does it again anyway. As long as you're supervising, to make sure he doesn't do anything major (lol), don't worry so much. He'll outgrow it (hopefully) over the next few years.  

Answer 3

I'm no expert, but it would make sense. Think of all the stupid stuff teens do. It has something to do with their brain not being fully developed. The part that deals with reasoning and logic is the last part to  develop.

My 3 year old cousin is a dare devil. He will climb anything! He isn't afraid and we have to keep telling him how much it will hurt if he falls. But, he doesn't seem to care. I know your son is a little older but maybe some people just like the thrill of a stunt.

Answer 4

Yes, it's normal.  Fear of harm comes more from experience and learning.  As he gets older, he will learn that sometimes he needs to be more careful.  Plus, all children are different.  My 5 year old is very observant of his surroundings and I don't worry too much about him, but his older brother was just the opposite of him at that age and paid no attention to anything around him at all.  He did have to be watched all the time too.  He's 11 now and survived those earlier years with very little problems.  Not sure if that helped, but I do know how exhausting it can be.  I don't know if it makes any difference, but my older son has ADD and I was told numerous times that a child with that condition has a harder time understanding their body in relationship to their surroundings and thus will not be as careful as a child without ADD.  Just a thought.

Answer 5

If you figure out that please let me know my son is 6 and is the same way!

Answer 6

Yes, it's normal.

Thinking of consequences does not kick in until later adolescence.

Answer 7

At 5 years old, children do not realize that there are consequences for their actions. He's not thinking about getting hurt, he's only thinking about what kind of fun he can have! In my experience, they have to learn the hard way! Keep an eye on him, but a few bumps and bruises won't kill him and a fall or two will teach him some caution.

Answer 8

My son was the same. He is now 14 and still learning, the hard way. Just try your best to give your consequences and stand your ground. He will learn.

Answer 9

unfortunately that's just the way they are the do not realize tere is a consequence and even if they do they might think that they are like catoons getting hurt and being better the next minute.  Try to teach him the consequences of his actions without scaring him.

Answer 10

yep at that age they don't think they just do

Answer 11

try getting him in to doing something different, take him fishing, or go for walks,play games, set a special time for just him, good luck. i wish you luck

Answer 12

Of course..they are children!!

Answer 13

It's normal, children think they're invincible and that they can accomplish anything they try. This just means that your son has a very active imagination. It sounds mean, but you should let him experience the consequences of some of his actions. For example, if he tries to touch the hot stove let him - he won't do it again.