Is it normal for me to feel used by him?

Question

I am good friends with a married man. We just enjoy each others company and I ask him for advice since he is a father figure to me.

We have always had a father and daughter relationship until we got intimate. We didn't have s*x but he asked me to give him a bj. He told me that i was really good and he even lasted 5 minutes.

However,we didn't speak for 2 weeks and i tried to resume our friendship since he meant a lot to me.Now it just seems like he wants nothing to do with me.He even stopped calling me.

I feel so used a nd cheap

Answer 1

aww that's horrible but sweetie, you've said it yourself that you feel used so why continue to bother with him? he has shown you what sort of person he is and really, you don't need that sort of person in your life.

go out and find someone who really cares for you, if you two had such a good bond together then he certainly wouldn't of asked for you to do what you did.

keep smiling and find someone else, he wasn't a true friend and you honestly don't need him.

Answer 2

Clearly, the real motive behind his 'friendship' was to just use you to give him some pleasure.  I understand why you feel used, you were.  Just put it down to a bad experience and move on with your life.  Learn the lessons that are required to be learned, and leave it at that.  I'm sure you will be wiser next time a married man befriends you.

Take care.

Answer 3

Well personally i would not have gone through with the bj. You said that you had a father daughter relationship would you give your father a bj? Wake up girl thats all he ever wanted from you

Answer 4

Wow... I'd never give a bj to someone I consider a father figure. That's just creepy. and he was married, what did you think, he'd be all proud of himself and was going to start calling you all the time? That was pretty idiotic to do, and.. how many times are you going to ask the question?

Answer 5

You and him both were way out of line. He is embarrassed realized he did wrong and wants to back off. And he should. You should to. Time to go your own way and forget him and this. Let this be a learning experience for you.  

Answer 6

sorry to say but you got used. I just can't understand why women cannot see when they are being fed a line.  

Chalk it down to experience.  I had this conversation with a friend who knows two women conducting relationships with married men and I also knew two different women.  All of whom started off as good friends, then were told "she (the wife)doesn't understand me" "I am going to leave her, but it's difficult" "we don't sleep together" and all the rest.  I wouldn't try to think you are going to have any "friendship" with him either, you may have seen it as an innocent friendship but you've already crossed the line with him once and it will happen again.

I almost ended up in that zone...twice so I know how easy it is to happen but I check myself.  Having seen the devastation it can cause (i.e. my father was a serial cheat) I'd rather not inflict that same pain on someone else.  

Answer 7

Now that he got what he wanted from you, he has no need for you ..Sorry..

Answer 8

Well it is normal to feel used and cheap. Because he used you to get off and you were cheap enough to fall for it. Just read the book by Monica Lewinsky on how to deal with that.

Answer 9

Sorry dear its a lesson learned ,,just dont bother with him what ofr ,forget he exist

Answer 10

Only you can make yourself feel used.  You feel used b/c, 1 you knew he was married, 2 a bj took an effort on your part.  Leave him alone, and tell him b/c he is going to call, tell him "you feel as though you crossed the lines and have too much respect for marriage, and his wife".  Don't blame him, blame you so that you can control the situation.  LEAVE HIM ALONE  He is a manipulator, NOT a father figure.  A father figure is your step dad, someone that helped raised you, not a married man giving you advice b/c he has kids.

Answer 11

What were you thinking? You got what you deserved, Nothing!

Answer 12

I saw a similar question you posted not to long ago about the both of you kissing each other. You're know telling us U gave him a BJ

shame on you. Get someone your own age.

Answer 13

Usually after some type of sexual behavior has occured between friends, its hard to act just like "friends" again.  He knows he was wrong because he was married and he took advantage of your need for a father figure.  It was very foolish of you to give him a ******** and it leads me to believe that you had more than "daughter" type feelings for him.  If he was truly just a "father figure", his request would of been out of line and probably would of made you sick to your stomach.  I suggest you chuck this up to a lessoned learned.  Do not engage in relationships with married men, do not give oral s*x to someone who is not entirely yours and when someone is your friend, that is what they are.  You have been used, but I can't say you should feel cheap.  

Answer 14

Is his name Peter?  

Answer 15

im sorry u feel that way but it is for the best. he is married remember! hes just had a reality check is all and doesnt want to mess up his marriage. cant say i blame him

Answer 16

You are equally responsible for that BJ that you gave to a married man.   Your choice.

You were making moves on a MARRIED man, it went beyond the innocent stuff and he had to face the big picture and knows better than to see you again and play with fire.

Learn and move on.

Answer 17

Number one: He asked you to do something sexually for him. This means that he is a lousy lover anyhow. If he wasn't able to make you want to do something, he has no skill, and no consideration for you.

2. He did manage to get you to do something he knows is wrong. Now he is feeling guilty. He is now torn between cutting off the relationship, or asking for more.

This is not a good thing. Just leave him alone. This friendship is dangerous. If you don't want it to go further, you have to go separate ways. The temptation is just too great.

Answer 18

Tell you two made a mistake. That you want your previous relationship back the way it was.  

Answer 19

This is why you shouldn't trust people.