Is it normal for my 11 and 19 year old nephews to still be sleeping in the same bad together?

Question

Is it normal for my 11 and 19 year old nephews to still be sleeping in the same bed together?

I think they're too old but the 11 year old gets nervous at the idea of having to sleep alone.

If you agree it's odd how do I go about approaching the subject with my sister (their mom).

thank you!

Answer 1

Since they are boys no.. is it typical? i wouldn't say that but is it perverted or wrong? no not at all. In fact it may help them bond as brothers more effectively.

Answer 2

This is definitely wrong.  He is too old at 11 to still be sleeping with a 19 yr old.  They might try having the older brother go in the younger brothers room and talk to him till he falls asleep and then the 19 yr old could just go back to his room.  If they don't do something the 11 yr old is going to always have to have someone sleep with him. The longer they wait the harder it will be.

Answer 3

I agree with the first person. That is just not right. A bunk bed would be much more appropriate, and that way, the 11 year old won't be completely alone.

Answer 4

Sometimes habits like that are hard to break.  But I agree that it is not normal for an 11 year old to be sleeping in the same bed with his brother who's 19.  

You might bring it to your sister's attention that this child is not really a child anymore but a pre-teen and therefore needs to be sleeping on his own.  If he doesn't learn some independence now he may never.  What's he going to do when big brother moves out?  

I would talk to her but breach the subject with delicacy.  She obviously sees this as no problem and coming into the conversation with both guns blazing may make her think you are challenging her parenting skills.

Explain to her that he needs to start sleeping on his own.  Soon enough his brother will move out and if this is an abrupt change it may affect him even worse than it would if he still had the opportunity to have his brother with him.  It would be better to gradually promote the change than to have it happen overnight and him be frightened.  

At least convince her to give it a shot, he shouldn't be that nervous about sleeping alone.  Has something happened to this child to make him afraid?  Maybe he needs more than just a push towards growing up, maybe counseling is in order to find out what's making this a problem.

Answer 5

I for one do not think it is a big deal. But what your sister can do is switch their beds for twin beds, bunk beds etc.

My brother , and my sister, we all slept in the same bedroom, of a 2 bedroom farm house.

People in todays society want to make a big issue about everything ... leave your sister alone.

Your nephew is 19, pretty soon he will move out ... and well your other nephew will just have to face his fears on his on then.

Answer 6

Unless there is a complete lack of space, in my opinion, it is very odd. A nineteen year old boy should not be sleeping with an eleven year old. The eleven year old needs to learn sleep alone in his bed. Ask your sister how she feels on the issue and offer some helpful suggestions.

Answer 7

that is just wrong

tell her that you saw a great deal on a twin sized bed or maybe even bunk beds, that would be better than in the same bed

Answer 8

It would be closed-minded to call the situation "perverted" or the like. I would say it is just like a child wearing diapers much too late in life. It's a just case of the 11-year old being much too old to have to sleep with a companion.

You might want to try asking him why he doesn't want to sleep alone. He might have some other phobias that need to be addressed, he might be afraid of the dark or of ghosts or something.