Is it normal for people to propose to the one they love b/c they feel someone will take their place?

Question

My navy b/f of 2 years and I had been arguing ever since he told me he slept with another female soldier while in Iraq. I treatened to leave and called him names via text msg. The more I told him off, the more he responded by asking me for another chance. i even told him I hated him and he responded with "i love you"

The next day I told him that i was going on a date ecause i wanted to see other people (I was lying about the date). That got him very scared so he asked me to marry him the next morning. Should I, or was he just acting scared because he thought I was seeing another guy?

Answer 1

Honestly, people don't change.  Getting married wont change anything.  If he wants to cheat again, he will do it- married or not.  

Answer 2

I'm an old lady and what I learned from my grandfather seems to be true. Most marriages happen only if & when the woman tells the man that it's time to either make a commitment or start seeing other people. That said, in your situation I wouldn't rush into anything. Wait until your man is back into "normal life" before making any important decisions together. A long engagement might be a good thing, but a hasty marriage usually isn't.  

Answer 3

Please don't!  He is just scared at the moment and willing to do anything to keep you.  But if you were really ready to make that type of commitment to one another, you wouldn't NEED to get married to prove it!  If it wasn't that long ago that he was willing to cheat on you, how do you know he wouldn't do it again?  It takes TIME to build trust and confidence.  If he felt differently a few months ago, how do you know he won't feel differently in another few months after the feelings of loss wear off.  If he was serious about you, he wouldn't need jealousy to drive him to the right thing.  I think you are just heading for disaster if you agree to marry him now.  Also, it's worthwhile reading the article I'm linking you to now.  Pay special attention to the descriptions at the bottom about when marriages fail or when marriages succeed.

Answer 4

My husband is in the navy also, and is deployed. First of all, if I found out he was cheating on me while I was here supporting him and keeping things going on the homefront, I'd kill him. But that's just me :) Anyway, it is probably normal for him to do that because he knows he messed up and is afraid of losing you, as he should be! He took you for granted, wanted his cake and to be able to eat it too. If he cant be faithful to you, what makes you think he's ready to marry you? Being away from you is part of what he is gonna have to deal with beings he is in the military, if he can't handle it, it doesnt need to be putting you through it. Do what you want, but I would strongly advise NOT marrying him. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!!!

Answer 5

If you love him you should tell him how  you feel ---- If he cares about you  he will change ----

Answer 6

The first time someone cheats is the hardest, and it gets easier from there. And it does sound like he was freaked out to loose you and felt that asking you to marry him was the best way not to loose you, but he wasn't afraid of that when he cheated. If you honestly love him enough to move past this and trust he will never do it again, then say yes, otherwise, I believe that relationship is over.