Is it normal for this child to act this way?

Question

I have a cousin which my mom babysits on and off for the past 2 years ( he's 2 1/2) . He can't hear the word No without him freaking out. He either storms out crying and screaming or he starts hitting himself or he starts shaking from the anger. when he does this my mom holds him tells what he did wrong but tells him she still loves him after mabye 5 min. he'll stop and be normal. Now recently he hates to see his dad leave he doesnt behave like that with his mom... But when he leaves he screams until he turns red and my mom tries to hold him because he hits his head and then when she does so he tries to bite scratch her and try to bang his head on her chest. and for about 5 minutes he will be doing this. My mom loves him and he gets treated very well .. we also watch a 3 year old cousin of mine and she's not like that at all. He also doesnt speak much its mostly gibberish and well some things which i feel he must comprehend he still doesnt. what can we do to help him out ?

Answer 1

If his pediatrician says nothing is wrong, I would consider what he is doing a tantrum. Tantrums should be ignored. By holding him, you are giving him attention and reinforcing the behavior.

ETA: Just because a doc recommends a med for a child (I don't think they USUALLY give meds for a child this young), doesn't mean she has to do what he says. The mother should be honest with the doc! The hyperactivity could be a sign of something else going on.

Answer 2

No this is not normal. Kids will hear the word No and throw simple fits, but him hitting himselve is not normal. He probably just got attached to his dad so much he has not become to know his mom. Take him to therapy or counseling.

Answer 3

counseling something is very wrong

Answer 4

have there been any major changes in the family lately?

my oldest son is going through that right now, he is 2 1/2 and although he can talk well he is responding like that to us. but we just had a set of twins and he is feeling left out... we have been giving special mommy and son, and daddy and son time and he has gotten a lot better!

Answer 5

He's frustrated because he doesn't know how to express his emotions. Make sure he can't hurt himself when he does it. Wait him out. Don't react like its a big deal. If he tries to hurt someone, put him in the playpen or something so he can't. Don't be too affectionate until he's finished with his tantrum.

Somehow he needs to learn to communicate. He should probably be able to talk by now, but boys learn later than girls. Make sure you talk to him a lot and try to get him to say words. We started with stuff like "Open" , "Close" , "Light", "Dark" , "Hot", "Cold",   animal names and stuff like that. Make him say the words for what he wants. In other words don't give him juice just because he points at it and grunts. Try to get him to say "juice". Make a big deal out of it when he does. Heaps of praise. Don't react if he doesn't say it. Just try to get him to nod or something. Like "Do you want the Juice?" get him to nod or say "Yes" something to communicate other than a grunt.  Just keep trying. He'll probably get mad if he doesn't get his way, leave him alone when he tantrums don't go too far. Just enough so he knows this won't get him any extra attention. Tell him you'll talk to him again when he's done being angry and just ignore him until he stops. Then be REALLY nice and ask him if he feels better when he's done. The idea is to teach him that there are other ways to communicate.

If its really bad and you fear for his safety, talk to his parents about it so they can see the doctor or something. He might not act like that at home, so they may not know what he's doing. If his parents are busy and he feels like he's not getting enough attention, that could lead to separation anxiety. But, that kind of thing is normal for a 2 year old. They're learning to think ahead and when Dad leaves, they might think he's not coming back.

Be consistent. Hopefully, it won't take long before starts reacting more civilly

Good luck.