Is it normal for trauma & abuse victims to struggle with assertiveness?

Question

Why do people think assertiveness is a simple task? Do you find it easy or difficult to be assertive?

-I'm a trauma/abuse survivor, & I struggle with assertiveness. & people think I'm naive & stupid & "allow" others to misuse me. I don't consider it "allowing". I have a mental disability.

Answer 1

Yes it's normal, even for other people with different mental illness.

I used to be like you and I also had a difficult time making decisions. But when I got to know myself better and learned to accept and embrace my personality, little by little I gained self-confidence and builded-up my self-esteem. And before I knew it, I wasn't struggling with assertivenes anymore.

So maybe all you need is a little self-confidence and self-esteem boost and I also suggest you do an introspection (self-observation of conscious thoughts) which will help to get to know yourself better.

Answer 2

I don't know about "normal", but it is typical.

The most common diagnosis for trauma/abuse recipients is PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).  And one of the 2 symptom clusters of PTSD is avoidance.  This would include avoiding relationships, interactions, and situations that would draw notice to you, anger someone else, remind you of the events or setting of your trauma, or in any way help triggger a re-experiencing of those events.

Remember, though, that even if your symptoms rise to the level of a full-blown diagnosis, that does NOT equate to a "mental disability".

It is time for a good therapist, though.

Good luck!