Is it normal not to cry after your fiance called off the engagement 3 days before the wedding?

Question

I was supposed to be getting married today, August 30th, but the wedding was called off. We dated four years, then lived together six weeks before returning to the East Coast for the wedding.

After speaking to a marriage counselor alone, I decided I wanted to postpone the wedding (no one knew except him, me and our parents). Then we spoke to the same marriage counselor together and I discovered that most of the issues I had with him weren't really issues but a matter of perspective. I felt we could work through them and I wanted to call the wedding back on.

He felt jerked around (and rightfully so) and not only didn't want to marry me today, but said he wasn't sure he ever wanted to marry me or even have a relationship.

I'm sad, hurt, apathedic, angry (at myself), etc, yet I haven't shed a single tear -- weird because I'm one of those women who cries easily. What gives?

Is it going to hit me suddenly? Am I still in denial?

Answer 1

Don't hold it all in you have every right to cry. You just broke off an engagement with the person you love. Plus crying is a natural part of healing.

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about that. Hope everything works out at the end.

Answer 3

You're probably in shock. You're angry, as you said, and that is probably the primary emotion you're feeling right now. And you're probably feeling frustrated. More than likely you'll get hit one day and start bawling.

You'll get through this. And I hope everything turns out okay in the end.

Answer 4

I am very sorry to hear what happened, But I cry very easily too, I think this will just "hit" you, and I'm sorry for that. =[

I hope you come to realize what's going on, I also deny myself if hard times.

Answer 5

are you sure this is the man you want to marry? because i'd be a mess.

Answer 6

you probably just fell out of love with him and had no feelings for him anymore and you just didnt notice

Answer 7

IDK, and I'm so sorry. He's not worth you. I know God has someone better in mind for you.

Answer 8

I think that it is not normal not to cry.  OR, maybe you are so hurt that you are holding it in, and eventually it will come out.  When me and my first love broke up, after being upset and angry for about 2 months, I had a breakdown, and just let it all out.  That is how I got over it too.

Answer 9

i dun think so

most ppl think theyd react a certain way in a situation, but once it actually comes, the shock and everything else makes u act like u wouldnt expect

sorry to hear

Answer 10

You don't have to cry about something to grieve,there are many different ways to grieve. I hardly shed a tear over my first love when we broke off our 2 yr. engagement,it took me almost 3 yrs to finally stop loving him. I think it's easier to heal if we can cry and get all that emotion out. It's a more difficult healing process when we hold all of it in and don't cry.  I will say that if you and he have had to struggle just to stay together then he is not the right one for you, being in love if it's right is easy.

Answer 11

I think it's just shock and it will hit you later on.  You seem to be going through a bit of denial, so just wait for it.

Sorry about what you're going through, and if you truly want to be with him I hope he comes around.

Plus, you still think you will get him back, and rightly so, so you may not have any tears to shed unless he leaves the relationship entirely.

Good luck

Answer 12

that is hard, I am so sorry , you could just be having a delayed reaction and may cry later, but right now you probably are relieved and taking a stress break, our bodies seem to know that during high stress situations you just need a rest. So please get your rest you deserve so much more.

Answer 13

1st off, quit blaming yourself and realize that he grabbed an out while the getting was good! He obviously did not love you/or as much as you loved him to scram so fast. Do you seriously think that your marriage would've lasted with this guy? I think there is someone else for him to be so insensitive and rude too. If he TRULY loved you, he would've said "lets try to work things out"...he did'nt...you did...now who truly loved and who was a fake? Also...you are still in shock...you cannot believe that he really means it and there is still a little fire of hope in you that burns...you will cry when you realize that you've been played and that the fire is out

Answer 14

you know what, I think it's probably a combination of shock, emotional exhaustion, confusion, denial etc.  It's like there are too many emotions to let you cry.  Once it really sinks in (in a couple days I'm sure) be prepared to sit in bed with a box of tissues all day.

and don't blame it ALL on yourself either (that's another reason youn probably aren't crying, deep down you feel like u dont have a right to because you are responsable).  But it is NEVER all one person's fault.  something he did also caused you to rethink this.  So don't drive yourself crazy putting all the blame on yourself.

Sorry this happened hun!

Answer 15

i think it's normal how ever you react.

i called off an engagement. my fiance (who lived in australia at the time) moved to america to try to win me back (we'd been apart physically for about 6 months and i just realized i wasn't in love). he went crazy for about three days, then he got over it and moved on.

we all deal with things different.

Answer 16

I think you are just being rational about the situation and at the same time strong and practical. You don't want to cloud your judgment and react crazily, although it is just fine to cry. Maybe when something reminds you or somebody making you feel emotional, I think tears will pour in but right now you are not in the crying state. And for your fiance better talk about it but not now because maybe he is also as confused as you are. And I don't think he will just cancel the wedding without a very good reason. Give him some time and space, things will be better. As of the moment better relax and also try to think about things...