Is it normal that i hate my dad?

Question

i am now 15. i remember having hated my dad from the time i was 7 or 8 years old. we argue everyday and i cant stand him. i hardly ever eat breakfast because he is always downstairs. thats just a small example of how hard i try to avoid him. he is constantly talking to me like i'm a disobedient dog and nothing is ever good enough or him. im a good kid, no drugs, alcohol, s*x, bad grades, i even hang out with an extremely nice, goody-goody group of girls at my school. yet he hates me. im serious. he always says really mean, rude stuff to me. he never just leaves me alone either. we fight-- well argue sevral times a day. i hate him so much and he hates me back. he caters to my sister all the time to. for a small example read on: one day i put up a poster and he yelled at me for so long about me making holes in the wall. my sister used an entire box of tacks to put up these posters that came from a teen bop magazine. theres more, but it is long and hard to explain, and i dont want to bore you, but if u need more t answer, let me know

Answer 1

Well I can honestly say it might be possible. Hopefully, deep inside your heart you don't hate him, but I understand. My real dad died when I was 7. I lived with him and my Grandmother since my parents had gotten divorced when I was 1. She didn't want custody because she worked the night shift.

Before my dad died, I occasionally visitedmy mom, stepdad, and half-sister (she and I are close). Anyway, a while back my step dad told me even when I was only like 5 years old that I wouldn't even talk to him, even if he tried to talk to me.

The truth is, I was always afraid of him. He always yelled and I was always scared he was going to hit me or something. I think I have blocked out those memories before I was 7 for the most part.

So, when my dad died I had to move in with my mom, step dad and sister. It was the worst time ever because I loved my grandmother more than my mom. I cried everytime I had to leave my grandmothers house when she had part-time custody on the weekends and summer.

My step dad was so mean I was afraid to cry. When I cried, even at 7, he would tell me to dry it up. When he got mad and my sister and I he would scream and yell. He would even squeeze my cheeks together until the insides of them touched.

The thing is, stuff like this didn't happen everyday. However, the yelling and screaming was pretty bad. My sister and I never knew when he was going to get mad. The only reason I had a 3.8 when I graduated high school was the fear of doing bad.

I am 27 and my sister is 24. She is a L*****n and truthfully part of me believes it might be because she hated him. We were raised in the babtist church, so I don't know what to think about my sister and about it being wrong. I feel like it is, but I still love her and try not to judge her. She told me back in 2006 that the reason she went to therapy when she went to college was because she didn't believe that either of our parents loved her.

Even though I have never gone to therapy as an adult, I know that growing up in such a way has affected me. Fortunately, I have my own home now, a good job, and a decent boyfriend. I wish I knew what to tell you to make it better, but I really don't know what to say. I have done my best to forgive him. I am cordial when I see him, but deep down inside I hate it when he gives me a hug or anything. However, I don't think I hate him...I just wish my mother had never met him.

Just continue to do the best you can do!!! That way when you are 18 and graduate, you can go off to college and get away (hopefully). Also, do your best to keep strong relationships with those people that you know love you! Even if it is not your family, a good friend can be there for you as well.

Answer 2

Listen, hating your mom or dad is a very normal thing. I hate both of mine even after their death. I know people are too d**n dumb to realize this but the love one has for his or her parents is NOT and should NOT  be based on the mere fact that they gave you life. Even the lowest of the lowest animals are capable of giving life to offspring. And, what if that life that they gave you is a miserable piece of sh*t life ?? Should I still love them just because they gave me that miserable life to live ?? Anyway, love towards parents should be based on the way they treat their child. If a parent treats their kids (young or old) respectfully and they never abuse them in any way, and do their best to provide for them -because IT IS THEIR responsibility since THEY chose to have kids- then they can expect their children to love them and respect them back. Think about it people, you DON'T love your mothers or fathers because they are your biological parents. NO. You love them because of the relationship you've developed with them over the years.

So, if your mom or dad treats you like sh*t then don't feel obliged to love them and don't feel weird if you do hate them. It's simple, treat me good and I'll treat you good. Treat me bad and I'll treat you bad regardless of who you are to me.

Answer 3

I have the EXACT same problem, when I turn 18 at 12:00 am i am leaving without telling them were I went and i am never talking to them again. I HATE my dad, I wouldn't kill for him, I would kill him. He is such a *****, he even made me quit football for no reason. I hate him with a deep passion. I decided I will treat that dirty ***** the same way he treats me, if he ever hurts me badly enough, I will kill him. If your parents dont honor you, you dont have the right to honor them.

Answer 4

I have learn a great deal from situation like your. In the future I have plan to have kids of my own. There's one thing that I know is 'kids should always respect their parents, but parents should also respect their kids!' This is true!

I want you to keep something in mind. You are a smart girl not to get involve in drugs, alcohol, s*x and get bad grades. You do this because you a bright enough to know you don't want this type craziness in your life. There are so many parents in this world would love to have a teen like you. It is sad that your dad has not recognized the beauty in his own child.

Sadly, sometimes parents do play favor with their own kids. You can buy your dad a small gift and a card: write a detail on how you feel, express to him that you wish to have a stronger relationship with him, and share with him how he hurts your feelings. You didn't mention your mom. If she is present in your home, ask her to get involve with this situation.

What I am about to express to you is very important to me! You are very good girl. If the situation don't change with your dad, don't so-called punish him by getting involve with drugs, and s*x. It will only hurt you. Make sure you keep your grades up and remember there will be a time where you are going to be out on your own. Your own home where it will be a loving place. I will pray for you tonight, promise. God bless.  

Answer 5

omg I know exactly how you feel! I'm 15 also and I don't get along with my dad either. And I get along soooo much better with my mom! Have a talk with your dad. Try to spend more time with him, even though you may not want to, he will realize how lucky he is to have you.  

Answer 6

No its not really normal to hate your dad like that

Answer 7

For some reason every year, I get in a fight with my dad on Father's Day. My dad did the same thing with my sister when she lived with him. She left when she was 14. All I can say is to try to avoid him as much as possible, and try not to do anything that will make him mad.  I sorry, though!!!

Answer 8

I'd love to tell you that he's just hard on you because he loves you, but experience has taught me that that may not be exactly true. He is your father, and you do love one another, even if you don't know it, but you may not be compatible as people. You may love each other, and not like each other. Sometimes those relationships can improve over time, as you learn to interact with one another. It can be difficult for a father to relate to a teenage daughter. However, you're doing great :). You're living your life according to your own values, and you're making mature choices. Don't change yourself trying to earn the acceptance of anyone, even your parents, and don't try to explain the hostility he may feel. Live for yourself.

Answer 9

dont worry i hater ur dad 2 i think he favors his kids

Answer 10

"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee,"

Answer 11

It is perfectly normal. Sometimes personalities clash, even between parents and children.

You seem like a very smart kid who realizes that parents are only human. Continue to be yourself, and learn to appreciate the nice things your father does for you despite his "flaws".

Answer 12

tell him y do u hate me look at sisters name she put up all of those taks sounds lik ur pretty cool if u wer my daughter i wuld luv u as a daughter

Answer 13

I hate my dad....at times.

But since I moved two hours away with my mom,

I kinda hate him less now.

I mean I still do at times,

but not as much as i used to.

Or maybe it's because I'm growing up now.

Idk....

Answer 14

well if u fight everyday then thats a big problem u just need to have a calm disgustion with him and tell him straight up how u feel. but u should never hate him he probably just doesnt understand u and ya'll need to bond.

Answer 15

i have the same prob

and i'm 15 just ignore him they eventually stop bothering

Answer 16

by the sounds of it he is just a big ****** man just stick it out soon you'll be in college get a girl, some good friends and go to mom for advice, i hate to say but **** your dad you just dont need that S**t.

i know people who have had successful lives without a good father figure.

Answer 17

Have a talk with your mom maybe dad and you could attend a few counselling sessions.

(and I hated my mom until we both grew up... I out grew her and just know how to avoid or trigger her tantrums.)

good luck hun, life sucks. BUT you will look back one day at the "easier" times of your life and appreciate who you turned out to be and what got you there.

Answer 18

no, i hate my mom... i totally understand what your saying. but, in america, it is concidered taboo to hate your parent, which, is honeslty stupid.

Answer 19

well. honestly. your dad sounds like a rude man. And you shouldn't "hate" anyone. you can dislike them. But my dad yells at me for poking holes in the wall as well. I just dont think you should hate him, you can dislike him to the best of your obility.  

Answer 20

Have you spoken to your mother? or some other relative who may be able to intervene. If not try them first otherwise speak to the school counsellor you shouldnt have to live like this.

And

Remember it takes two to have a fight so dont give in to temptation simply say nothing and remain calm.