Is it normal to be crying so much a year on?

Question

My dad died last year (he lived with me and my kids) a year on and I seem to have gone back a step instead of moving forward, Its like every day over the last couple of weeks is a year since something with the last one being a year since his funeral this Thursday, Do you think I am strange for it to be hitting me so hard? coz I feel like a basket case

Answer 1

no i don't think your strange for crying for the loss of your dad but i do find that I'm strange because my brother died this time last year and i have never cried at all for him he was only 19 (committed suicide) and i love him dearly

Answer 2

No, of course not. I'm so sorry to hear this. You must have been really close.

Firstly, I think it is healthy to let it out, rather than hide your tears. Maybe you are letting it dictate how much time you spend on other things. If you are not keeping yourself busy, perhaps you have more time to think about it, and therefore you can't stop thinking about him. Keep yourself busy and then allow some time to grieve at the end of the day or something.

If you really continue to feel bad you should see a grief councillor. Everyone grieves in different ways so everyone has to get help in different ways.

Good luck and feel better.

Answer 3

Every year around that time you will remember and feel sad, think of something fun to do with the kids in his honour each year so you have something to look forward to instead of something negative. My boyfriends family release helium balloons every year on his sisters birthday.

Answer 4

Anniversary time.  Yeah, that sucks.  It'll happen for a few years, then it will start to get better in my experience.

Answer 5

It usually is common to feel depressed when the same time of the year arrives. I lost my father in Oct. and the fall usually reminds me of the loss. My mother passed around the middle of Dec. and that is a reminder of the loss also.

Every year will get a little easier to deal with the loss. But there is always the memory and no one can take them away. You will get past this , but never totally over it.  

Answer 6

My mum still cries every christmas etc for her mum who passed away 18yrs ago!! (she also dies on Xmas day, which didnt help!)

I think its normal... time helps, but it will never bring back the person you have lost!

Its only a problem, if it is starting to affect your life.  Then, you should seek some counselling.  Infact, counselling would help you anyway!

Answer 7

No of course not - its fine to grieve - you miss him!!!!

Answer 8

I don't think there is any hard and fast rules for how long you should grieve for. If it is interfering with your life though it might be worth looking for counselling or a support group or something similar. And maybe try and concentrate on happier things like remembering days out or birthday parties or similar. Above all if you want a good cry then have one.

Answer 9

Yes it is normal.

My Mum died when I was 19 and I was one of her chief carers. I lost the plot for about a year, drank too much, was totally irrational, was convinced everyone was going to leave me and was a total nightmare.

I think it's very normal to feel like this.

Considering our parents play such a massive part in our lives, it's only natural for it to take time to get over it.

I know you've probably heard it all before but it does get easier.

You just learn to deal with it and you'll still have your moments as the years go past.

I'm now 33 and I cried myself to sleep one night last week cos I missed her so don't worry. You're not a basket case.

Maybe try some counselling I never did but looking back on it maybe I should have. There are groups that specialise in bereavement.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Feel free to mail me :) x

Answer 10

cry as much as you want let it all out there is nothing abnormal about crying this way .we are only human and that's that .we cannot con troll the way we feel  especially after a loved one dies. i hope the break does you good have a wonderful time

Answer 11

To be quite honest, if my father had died recently, like only in the preceding years, I think I would be very much a changed person.

Answer 12

If you feel like you should be over it but just aren't getting anywhere then maybe you should speak to a professional?  Counselling can help those just not able to come to terms with things they have no choice about.

Also, it is the first anniversary, that will slightly re-open old scars, give yourself a couple of weeks to get over the fresh hurt this anniversary has brought and see how you feel them..

Answer 13

This is pretty normal when you hit dates that remind you of him it will be harder.  You will eventually move on but the pain will never die completely

Answer 14

I'm the same i lost my mum 3 years ago and i still cry alot around the anniversary of her death so its natural to feel like you do you were living with him so you were quite close. my mums death still effects me today we just learn to live with the pain.